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I just wanna be happy for a change

9choula9choula Posts: 4 Newbie
first time doing anything like this but more comfortable talking to yous than someone I know.

i have been feeling low and without any energy or motivation for a few years now, I still live a very active life but it’s all getting harder to manage.

Due to my career path I am not able to seek help for fear of being diagnosed as that would take away one of the only things I’m looking forward to in life. Im currently in a relationship with someone suffering from bad anxiety and find I end up focusing all my time looking after her and making sure she gets the help she needs and I guess it’s just getting frustrating as I need that support too but I don’t have anyone to go to because I can’t unload on her as it will Upset her and make her anxiety worse.
Don’t get me wrong though she is my rock and I wouldn’t be around if it wasn’t for her❤️

because af all this I feel my personality is being eaten away as I can no longer enjoy the things I once did, I’ve also stopped sleeping properly most nights I’ve only been able to get an hour and I wake up every time feeling more drained than before I’ve managed to get medication for this in the past but my Gp said that the next time I ask I’ll they’ll look into me possibly having depression.

sorry for the rant but I wanted to get this off my chest and if anyone has some advice or tips they have found useful in the past or dealt with a similar situation I would really appreciate hearing from you.

Kathleen07

Comments

  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 6,197 The Mix Elder
    edited March 23
    Heyy,
    And welcome!

    its hard for anyone to hear that someone is struggling so i can get why you wouldnt want to tell her but you deserve support back - if you put so much energy into it. Do you think if she knew how you felt- she would rather you said than suffer in silence? Just cause she has anxiety her self it doesnt mean she cant handle it.  

    Do you have any family you can speak to? We are all here to listen aswell and all geuinerly care about each other here so hope we can help. 

    what sort of carer path is it you wanna talk if dont mind me asking? Cause your mental health is really important. 
    Do you think it could be a physical problem? And i dont mean to sound dismissive of how you feel- just like common things like anemia can give off "drained feeling" & depression like sypmtoms and low motivation which can start to make you feel really depressed and unhappy. 

    Its great you still lead a very active life - thats really hard if you are feelin this low 
    “If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care” Marvin J. Ashton
  • CarolineVCarolineV Posts: 133 The Mix convert
    Hi there, and welcome to the boards! I hope that you found some relief in posting here and being able to get things off your chest.

    @Shaunie has given some lovely advice about speaking to your partner, or maybe to a family member.

    It's great to hear that you've been to the GP before, that can be a really difficult step so well done for doing that. You mentioned that if you go back they might talk about depression-is going back something that you're considering?

    I hope today is going well for you, let us know how things are going if you'd like to <3

    Caroline
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,686 Postholic
    Hey bud <3

    Reading this, I think I can relate in my own way - I'm going through some similar feelings, and though it's a different situation, I'm worried to seek help too. This stuff is miserable, sending hugs and love <3

    It's good to talk, please feel free to come here if/whenever you need to.

    I guess different people help themselves in different ways. Sadly I'm finding nothing eases how I'm feeling, but various things help me cope a little - like music, and (when I can make myself) exercise and being outdoors. Writing about my feelings, though always feels impossible at first, helps me a bit too. Some people try meditation or mindfulness.
    There's some kind of natural antidepressants out there too.
    And this probably won't help your position, but if you need someone to talk to, The Mix offer counselling sessions through the phone. http://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/speak-to-our-team/the-mix-counselling-service

    Take care <3
  • 9choula9choula Posts: 4 Newbie
    Hi all thanks for the replies it means a lot being able to share at last. 
    The problem is my career path is military based and i Have been accepted and due to start in September however the support for mental issues is only there for people who develop them during their time with them cos if you get diagnosed before entry you get kicked out.
    i have tried talking to my gf and she knows what I’m going through but it was horrible watching the extra strain put on her and my parents and family tend to dismiss it saying the cause is gone now you should be better and that just makes everything worse cause they expect so much from me and if I don’t improve I’ll just continue to let them down.
    Hopefully today will be better though got a club night out with uni so it’ll force me out and to socialise which at least provides a bit of a distraction although it does get tiring putting on the fake happiness.
    thanks again for your thoughts.
    Kathleen07
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 6,197 The Mix Elder
    edited March 26
    Heyy! 
    How did your night out go?

    sorry to hear your family are dismissive - i guess sometimes they can feel helpless and not understand. 

    I think when ever we tell someone how low we feel - it puts a bit of strain on them - because they care. Would be odd if didnt have any affect on them. It shouldnt mean you need to keep it to yourself all the time. But is my opinion

    hope your enjoyed your other night and that you are doing okay today.  <3
    “If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care” Marvin J. Ashton
    9choula
  • 9choula9choula Posts: 4 Newbie
    Hi and thanks for asking the night out was actually really nice was my first time genuinely enjoying myself in a long time. 

    And I know what your saying about opening up to the people we care about is right but it’s really difficult watching them suffer so much just makes me feel guilty for putting them through that when they have there own problems to deal with. 

    However today day is an important day for me so gonna try and stay positive 2 years ago today I was in a really dark patch and nearly ended it but it’s also the same day I started dating my gf I find it quite a helpful to keep reminding myself of it just goes to show that no matter how bad thing get things can change.

    thank you so much for continuing to talk to me it really does help❤️
    Shaunie
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 6,197 The Mix Elder
    Heyy! 

    Aw that is so nice to read. - So glad you enjoyed your night out!  

    And totally understand how you feel about speaking to your family ect. And sometimes we just wanna speak to someone who isnt - which where i hope we can help in some way <3

    and that is an important reminder. I am glad you are here and didnt end it all <3. Its always good to see the change and it doesnt even always have to be massive change - to know there is progress. and good to remember the things we are grateful off

    type on here when ever- we all here for you aswell
    “If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care” Marvin J. Ashton
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