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Friends and stuff

tkdogtkdog Posts: 128 The Mix Convert
So i'm alright at actually just talking to people randomly.
How do you actually make like proper friends tho. What's the secret to that lol 
How do you make it click for both you and the other person? How do you show that you are a good friend? Not just a random person that occasionally they talk to.


  • JamJarJamJar Posts: 185 Super Moderator
    Hey @tkdog,

     It's interesting you make a distinction between talking to randomers and talking to a good friend because I actually find I often speak to strangers as honestly and openly as I do to my closest friends. It's something about their remoteness that allows me to be completely open with who I am.

    Anyway, are you asking about someone who you are talking to in person, or online? Because the context affects how a relationship develops quite significantly...
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 782 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey @tkdog

    It's quite a skill to talk to people randomly first of all! I'm crap at that!

    I think to make deeper connections with people you can try to get to know them a little more seriously than the light hearted conversations you would have with randoms :)  I'd ask questions about how they feel, what has shaped them as a person (what their family, childhood were like etc) to try and understand them a bit more. If they don't open up about anything with you, that's OK just don't focus on trying to have close relationships with those people, find others that will. 

    Hope that helps a little? 

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 9,690 Supreme Poster
    To make friends all i do is remember "everyone loves to talk about themselves". As selfish as sounds but is true.  and then ive found conversations last longer and then feel better & not just random & get to know them and be interested. As tbh when i used to speak to people. I used to be quite blunt and didnt get far making friend. Aha. Like theyd ask me something about my life and id either answer really blunt lol and not even ask them & people just like talkin about themselves aha
    if you have the strength to sustain anorexia you have the strength to overcome it
  • tkdogtkdog Posts: 128 The Mix Convert
    Thanks for the replies <3
    Sooo I'm specifically talking about only in person offline interactions. With online or text yeah the dynamics are different.
    Sometimes yeah the stranger thing helps me be more honest in some cases because i know if i mess up it doesnt matter as much. But other times it helps to know a person well to build up that familarity. Though I love the excitement of talking to someone random.

    I'm not always sure who to stay loyal to and if i should risk it to spend time with other ppl.
    Because when you spend time with one person you miss out on interactions with others particularly with shy person perhaps or if ur already in a big group of ppl. And im not great at asking ppl to hang out, some ppl i know are too busy to anyways. But yeah I think it is true people enjoy talking about themselves at least to some extent or about their interests, i guess that is something i can think about. I dont hang out with a lot of ppl outside studying so yeah i would like to but only with people i feel established with and im not sure always how to go about with that. And of course i want space to be myself not lie about who i am. I feel like this stuff is really complicated ;P or maybe its simple and i overthink it. 
  • MsBingoMsBingo Posts: 64 The answer to life, the universe, and everything
    Hey @tkdog

    I can really relate to what you said about worrying about spending time with one person because you don't want to miss out spending time with another person. However, i think if someone is a really good friend, they will understand that you have other relationships! If you are having trouble deciding who you want to spend time with, maybe just think about who you enjoy the company of the most.

    I'm not great at asking people to hang out either and I think it is something a lot of people have trouble with. I think it makes it easier when you find shared interests with them e.g. get talking about films that are out at the moment and maybe you could ask them to go and see it with you
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