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Loneliness at Christmas

TheMixTheMix Posts: 3,040 Boards Guru
edited November 2018 in We Need You
Hey everyone,

Christmas, while the favourite time of year for some people, is a difficult one for others. In particular, feelings of loneliness and isolation can be pretty big around the holiday period.

As part of our #GramFam project (in collaboration with CALM), we're looking for some input from you guys about the challenging side of Christmas. Using your experiences and ideas, our aim is to create a sort of 'statement' for our InstaZine about how Christmas can be tough for young people. Basically, we want to say "this is what The Mix thinks..."

For those not familiar with an InstaZine (like me before I looked it up (#old)): it's a collection of Instagram posts that line up visually to create a bigger message. Here's the one we put together for Freshers:



If you'd like to contribute to our Christmas one, we have a few questions we'd like your thoughts on:

1. What do you find difficult about Christmas?

2. Do you feel lonely at this time of year?

3. Are you more impacted than usual by any of these issues over Christmas?

  • Loneliness
  • Body image
  • Family conflict
  • Finance 
  • Social anxiety

4. How can we make Instagram into a positive space and portray a more realistic image of what Christmas can be like for young people?

5. How could a project like #GramFam help you feel better about the holiday period?

We might not include everything we hear, but we'll be considering all contributions when we put together our statement. If you're happy for us to quote you directly, let us know in your response. :)

Thanks in advance!
Mike & the team
We're @Aife, @Ella, @Gemma, and @JustV - the staff team here at The Mix.

Our DMs are monitored Monday - Friday (10am - 5pm) with limited cover on weekends. We have a great team of moderators looking after the community outside of those hours to check in on any reported posts.

We're not able to provide support on this account. If you need support urgently for any reason, please call 999, go to your nearest A&E or contact Crisis Messenger by texting THEMIX to 85258.

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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,146 Part of The Furniture
    The most difficult thing for me at Christmas is the fact we have a huge family get together where we go out for a meal and knowing that Nan who was a huge part of family isn’t going to Be there and that does make me feel lonley even though I’m surrounded by my family it’s like they’ve all moved on from losing her and here’s me still grieving for somone I loved.
    I definitely do feel lonley around this time of year becasue I’ve lost somone who  I dearly loved weather that he recently or a few years ago.
    my Social Anxiety is awful during this time of year , family get togethers , parties , meals out with friends are all things I’d loved to do but it stops me which makes me feel even more lonley this time of year as I isolate myself in the fear that I will mess up infront of people.

    Maybe showing stories of other young people’s who feel lonley around this time of year to show me and others that were not alone in feeling alone of that makes sense. 

    P.S totally fine that you can quote any of this ☺️
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    edited November 2018


    I think is important that should remember being alone doesn’t have to feel lonely. Even if like anxiety gets in the way & do miss out on some social events or just dont go to any - we feel if we miss out then we are “alone” & that is some peoples perception of how loneliness looks like at christmas & that we should feel sad about that. But is wrong. I think its the pressure to be around people constantly is what makes me feel lonely & most dufficult part. But just like any other time of year - that to some extent our own company is okay. & being ‘alone’ is okay - its ‘loneliness’ that isn’t.


     Like everyone is capable to feeling lonely no matter what we see. Alone or with people. Yet i still compare with others. And is also lookin at other way of “you dont have to be alone to feel lonely”. - Can be surrounded by people & still feel lonely. 


    I feel lonely when i go on my social media & see all these “close” social connections more around christmas time. But they never seem to show the bad parts or how they feel. 


    And theres been many years when ive felt more lonely at christmas & i think its cause of the pressure not be alone- as ive missed out on things from anxiety & my eating disorder. 



    But i’ve found the main thing is, if you can, let others around you know how you struggle near christmas - even sharing makes us feel less alone with our struggle. But it also lessens the pressure with it. Like since my family knew about my eating disorder & issues of body image - it makes christmas lot less horrible as there is not any more pressure to eat more than any other days of the year.


    Happy for you to quote me but doubt will as probably ramble mess lol

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    TheMixTheMix Posts: 3,040 Boards Guru
    Thanks so much for taking the time to give your input both of you - this is super insightful. :) Really love the distinction between being alone and feeling lonely @Shaunie, and it's interesting to hear the grief element that these events can bring in @Millie2787. Definitely a lot of layers here.

    If anyone else wants to get involved with this, give us your thoughts before the 6th of December. The more perspectives we have here, the more accurate a picture we can put together. :) 

    Mike & the team
    We're @Aife, @Ella, @Gemma, and @JustV - the staff team here at The Mix.

    Our DMs are monitored Monday - Friday (10am - 5pm) with limited cover on weekends. We have a great team of moderators looking after the community outside of those hours to check in on any reported posts.

    We're not able to provide support on this account. If you need support urgently for any reason, please call 999, go to your nearest A&E or contact Crisis Messenger by texting THEMIX to 85258.
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    The most difficult thing about Christmas for me is family... like we don't have a big family gathering or anything and it makes me realize how broken my family is. I either have to choose to spend it with my dad, my sister or my mam and it's an impossible decision when I get on with them all, no matter who I choose someone is going to be on their own at Christmas, so often I offer to work it just so I don't have to choose. 


    I do feel somewhat lonely at Christmas just cause of the whole family thing, but also it's a reminder of the loneliest day of my life, 4 years ago I was waking up on Christmas in a hospital 200 mile away from my family and friends, everyone in my dorm had got pass for Christmas but I didn't, no visitors or anyone to talk too but seeing family's celebrating together on social media, Christmas has never been the same since. 

    I also feel alone in the sense that a big part of Christmas is food, and while my friends and family eat without worry, its all I can think about and I feel isolated and without the support of my team it can be lonely. 


    I agree with Shaunie… making people around you aware of your struggles can help you feel less alone, also places like the mix can help too, when other places of support are closed around Christmas the mix is always here, and it does make me feel less alone, knowing other people feel the same way (I wish they didn't though) 

    you can quote any of this if it makes sense lol
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    TheMixTheMix Posts: 3,040 Boards Guru
    Super late on this one, but thanks so much for this input @BubblesGoesBoo. All very insightful points here - food can be a biggy for those who struggle with it, and those difficulties around the social side of Christmas and dividing time with family can be tough. Interesting that having certain memories associated with events like Christmas can really change your experience of them as well - something that probably holds true of other times of year too.

    Thanks everyone for your contributions and suggestions for what can help - you're awesome. :) 

    Mike & the team
    We're @Aife, @Ella, @Gemma, and @JustV - the staff team here at The Mix.

    Our DMs are monitored Monday - Friday (10am - 5pm) with limited cover on weekends. We have a great team of moderators looking after the community outside of those hours to check in on any reported posts.

    We're not able to provide support on this account. If you need support urgently for any reason, please call 999, go to your nearest A&E or contact Crisis Messenger by texting THEMIX to 85258.
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