Home Health and Wellbeing

crying all the time never really knowing why?

greenggreeng Posts: 2 Literally just got here
So I've been struggling for my emotions for the past couple of years. Leading up to GCSEs I would end up crying a lot without really being able to pinpoint a cause as it would happen randomly, when I was alone or with friends or in class. Then moving into sixth form I had ended up losing all the friends I had had before due to a bad breakup. It started off fine and I made a few new friends but the crying became more frequent and more frequent untill it became constant throughout the day and I couldn't get out of bed in the morning knowing I would have to deal with this crying the whole day. I tried to explain all this to my pastoral officer and she told me to go to the doctor's where I was told that all my mood was a result of the breakup I had had the last year and that I should calm down and stop wasting his time basically. I tried getting support from chums but waiting was taking too long so my mum found me a councillor through a collegue of hers who's daughter had had similar problems. The councillor wasn't able to support me in any useful way she just told me that I was making it worse for myself by not going to school and gave me worksheets on anxiety which just made me feel like a stupid child
Nothing was working to make my life at that school any better but luckily I had a friend from middle school who went to a different sixth form so I moved there and the crying seemed to ease off and I was able to attend school regularly again for quite a while. But then just before the holidays the crying started to get worse again, I couldn't answer a single question on one of my mock papers although luckily it was just me taking it so I could tell the teacher I couldn't do the paper because I'd missed it because I'd been off 'sick" because I couldn't get up in the morning again. I spoke to the head of sixth as she understood what happened at my previous school and she told me to try going to the doctor's again to see if it was something wrong with hormones in my blood? I didn't understand either but I went to a different doctor and she told me there was no test on my blood she could do and then I can't remember her offering much else so I asked if going on the pill would help if it was to do was hormones so I've been trying that for the last 3 months and i thought it might had been better but as it was through summer the crying lessened a lot.
 but now Ive been back at sixth form for 3 days and I had to leave school after two periods of frees because I just couldn't stop crying.
I'm really scared this is going to make me fail my a levels and I don't know what else I can do about it.
My mum says we've tried all we can to get help but she doesn't think my problems can be solved but anything other than me bucking up and just not crying but I don't know how to stop it I just feel so useless and miserable and I can hear myself saying in my head id rather die than be sat here but I know that's not true!
Is there anything I can do to solve this like is this a problem a councillor should be able to help with? The doctor's all seem to think I'm just a hormonal teenager but it's stopping me from going to school and if I mess up at this school I'm not going to be able to try again. They all seem to think it will just go away but so far it's not and if it mucks up my alevels it could muck up everything leading from that ie: my whole life.
 I'm just scared I'm never going to be able to live my life properly because I can't stop bloody bawling all the time
Am I just being lazy and stupid? I don't understand why it feels this is taking over my life but no one else seems to see it.
Thanks a lot if you read any of that I'm just so lost any help would be appreciated. 

Comments

  • ShaunieShaunie 🌸 Posts: 12,563 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited September 2018
    Hey, welcome!

    sorry to hear you have been crying so much :(

    Do you know what sort of things you are thinking about when you start crying?  Something specific or maybe is anxiety? 

    If doctors wont help maybe could look into self help, maybe find ways to destress as stress maybe could trigger it and its just helpful to find ways to manage how youre feeling. Eg doing mindfullness breathing ect. & make sure youre sleeping okay and eating ect and just looking after yourself too 


    i used to cry so exessively too, gradually cry a lot less than i used to. Eventhough i feel worse but guess just stop crying and cant express emotions that i  feel anymore, as much.
    -So defintly keep going to doctors  or try different doctors or seeking any sort of help

    All the best
    .
    Millie2787
  • greenggreeng Posts: 2 Literally just got here
    Shaunie said:
    Hey, welcome!

    sorry to hear you have been crying so much :(

    Do you know what sort of things you are thinking about when you start crying?  Something specific or maybe is anxiety? 

    If doctors wont help maybe could look into self help, maybe find ways to destress as stress maybe could trigger it and its just helpful to find ways to manage how youre feeling. Eg doing mindfullness breathing ect. & make sure youre sleeping okay and eating ect and just looking after yourself too 


    i used to cry so exessively too, gradually cry a lot less than i used to. Eventhough i feel worse but guess just stop crying and cant express emotions that i  feel anymore, as much.
    -So defintly keep going to doctors  or try different doctors or seeking any sort of help

    All the best
    Hey thanks for the advice!
    I think I'll have a go with self help books before I go see the doctor again.
    I really don't know what sort of things I think about when I start crying, sometimes it's just normal things like falling out with friends etc but often I really can't think of a cause and then it makes me more upset that there's no reason for me to be crying and I think I just get stuck in my head because I can hear people talking to me but it takes too long for me to work out what they're saying and what I need to say back that they have already moved away thinking I was ignoring them.
    Did you find anything that helped you with excessive crying or do you just sort of have to wait it out?
    Thanks a lot again for replying its great to know there are people out there :)
    Millie2787Shaunie
  • Millie2787Millie2787 🐶 💜 Posts: 3,897 Community Veteran
    Hi,
    Sounds Like you have had a really rough time of it lately - With CAMHS you have to have patience i know its frustrating as I've been and still waiting 5 months , problem is there very overstretched and underfunded.

    I was exactly  the same at one point i was crying everyday and how someone explained it to me is that its like a pot of water that's full of water (everything that's going on ) and adding more water to the pan (anything little or big ) is going to make it boil over (crying).
    What i did with the crying as i would identify when i felt myself getting upset so for me that was i started getting a knotted feeling in my stomach , shaking and and my eyes watering at that point i would ask a teacher if i was in education if i could just take 5 minutes outside or ask if i could go to the toilet to just calm myself down.

    As @Shaunie said carry on with going to the doctors even if they don't do anything ti just helps to have someone to talk to and maybe offer a alternative view on the situations. It may take time to find the right doctor that you like and feel like you can get on with if you haven't already found one- it took me a few visits to find the 2 doctors that i get on with.

    self help books are a really good way to help with anxiety- you can borrow them from local libraries through the shelf-help scheme or you can buy them it depends on what the type of book is as some book has activities to complete through it but its whatever works best for you 

    Were all here for you , so don't be afraid to reach out 
     


    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Invisible_meInvisible_me Miniposter Posts: 138 The Mix Convert

    Hello there,

    Sorry to hear your struggle to cope with your crying outbursts. Often these outbursts is becase we are feeling so overwhelmed and I imagine like a water bottle and once it gets full even a single drop is going to overflow it.

    It becomes easier to manage once we know what is fulling the water bottle in other words the triggers-even if it's small it can have a big impact. Once you know what it is you can start to work to overcome it.

    SOmetimes managing our levels of anxiety can help reduce overflows.  These strategies vary and work for diffierent people. That anxiety sheet your counsellor gave you, try giving some of them a go- they aren't stupid, it can be so helpful once you find what works. Deep breathing isn't all and just the magic.

    Sorry to hear, your doctors aren't being very supportive. That doesn't help. I would say try a bit of self-help things from the net, see how that goes then go back and say I've tried this etc... but still struggling is there anything they can offer?

    It's about finding the match for you. With this, take the work slowely but surely and keep talking to the teachers. Talking works wonders and such a release. It for once lowers the levels of water in the bottle (as the example).

    Take care

    In_me

  • ShaunieShaunie 🌸 Posts: 12,563 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited September 2018

    Did you find anything that helped you with excessive crying or do you just sort of have to wait it out?
    @greeng youre welcome <3
    Actually, now i think about it, part of it has to do with waiting it out and not being able to crying anymore. But think maybe also could be to do with the fact i speak about how i feel now, and expressing it in different ways. Whether that is on here or speaking it to mental health team. As not great to bottle up emotions. 

     Also people can find others way to express what ever is making them feel emotional and can find distractions and hobbies eg drawing, exercise ect. Do you have any hobbies?

     But i hope youre able to use somewher as an outlet.

    all the best
    X
    .
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