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Can you be friends with benefits without complicating your friendship?

AifeAife LondonPosts: 2,042 Staff Moderator
Image result for friends with benefits
Hey everyone,

Can you ever be friends with benefits without complicating your friendship?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts!

- Aife
Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤

Comments

  • LaineLaine Llama Mama Posts: 1,336 Fanatical Poster
    Based off of what I've seen on various forums I honestly think not. 

    It'll always get complicated be it feelings being caught or one loving someone and wanting to end their attachment, someone will always get hurt and it can ruin a friendship x

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈 

    "Maybe it's not my weekend,  but it's gonna be my year" ~ All Time Low

    "No one else is dealing with your demons, meaning maybe defeating them could be the beginning of your meaning friend" ~ TOP

    "What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it?" ~ Bastille
    Aifeindependent_
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 6,186 The Mix Elder
    edited August 2018
    I think if the friendship ends up being more sex based than spending time as friends then it ruins the friendship.

    But think even then it can still be pretty complicated & depends on the people and how they go about it in terms commication & stuff and making things clear
    and because after having sex, one may feel more emotions & then cant go back to how friendship was for when dont wanna be friends with benefits
    “If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care” Marvin J. Ashton
    Aife
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 617 Extreme Poster
    I don't think so! Emotions will come into play at some point and then there isn't much going back to being 'just friends'... I think we've all tried it at some point but for me personally it hasn't worked, probably because I can get quite jealous so exclusivity is best for me!!  =)
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • AifeAife LondonPosts: 2,042 Staff Moderator
    edited August 2018
    Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts! Sounds like you all agree that a friends with benefits arrangement can complicate things in your friendship.

    Do you think it's okay to expect emotional intimacy from a relationship that you define as casual? 
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Noob
    Oh gosh, I can't say for myself as have never participated in having f'riends with benefits', but I honestly can't see it's going to enhance any standing friendship, but rather break up two mutual lovers and big time. They will have enjoyed each other, but not getting so close as to have a full time relationship. It's bound to become destructive. Hope that helps?

    Aife said:
    Do you think it's okay to expect emotional intimacy from a relationship that you define as casual? 
    Again, I've never got into casual relationships though know others who have. Casual sex would be seen as sharing intimacy, only without committment which would attract emotional intimacy.
    I'm driven by self doubt.
    Aife
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 6,186 The Mix Elder
    edited August 2018
    Aife said:
    Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts! Sounds like you all agree that a friends with benefits arrangement can complicate things in your friendship.

    Do you think it's okay to expect emotional intimacy from a relationship that you define as casual? 


    No. Cant really mix sex and emotions together. If the emotions are more than feeling of  friends otherwise its more than casual. & probably indenial if remain casual & not healthy. 

    But is way too hard to keep emtional and physical separate.

     Ive been in a friends with benefits relationship, i think it was a way to cope with tramua and to feel in control of my body again(as selfish as sounds & made me feel worse with shame) But it just didnt work because started getting jelous and i didnt know of that meant emotions so ended that sort of relationship which ended the friendship which is sad cause was good friends. But basically i mean sex is a vulnerable thing & build some level of trust and emotions imo, 
    “If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care” Marvin J. Ashton
    Aife
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