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Can you be friends with benefits without complicating your friendship?

AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Image result for friends with benefits
Hey everyone,

Can you ever be friends with benefits without complicating your friendship?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts!

- Aife
Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Based off of what I've seen on various forums I honestly think not. 

    It'll always get complicated be it feelings being caught or one loving someone and wanting to end their attachment, someone will always get hurt and it can ruin a friendship x
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2018
    I think if the friendship ends up being more sex based than spending time as friends then it ruins the friendship.

    But think even then it can still be pretty complicated & depends on the people and how they go about it in terms commication & stuff and making things clear
    and because after having sex, one may feel more emotions & then cant go back to how friendship was for when dont wanna be friends with benefits
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    I don't think so! Emotions will come into play at some point and then there isn't much going back to being 'just friends'... I think we've all tried it at some point but for me personally it hasn't worked, probably because I can get quite jealous so exclusivity is best for me!!  =)
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    edited August 2018
    Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts! Sounds like you all agree that a friends with benefits arrangement can complicate things in your friendship.

    Do you think it's okay to expect emotional intimacy from a relationship that you define as casual? 
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Just got here
    Oh gosh, I can't say for myself as have never participated in having f'riends with benefits', but I honestly can't see it's going to enhance any standing friendship, but rather break up two mutual lovers and big time. They will have enjoyed each other, but not getting so close as to have a full time relationship. It's bound to become destructive. Hope that helps?

    Aife said:
    Do you think it's okay to expect emotional intimacy from a relationship that you define as casual? 
    Again, I've never got into casual relationships though know others who have. Casual sex would be seen as sharing intimacy, only without committment which would attract emotional intimacy.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2018
    Aife said:
    Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts! Sounds like you all agree that a friends with benefits arrangement can complicate things in your friendship.

    Do you think it's okay to expect emotional intimacy from a relationship that you define as casual? 


    No. Cant really mix sex and emotions together. If the emotions are more than feeling of  friends otherwise its more than casual. & probably indenial if remain casual & not healthy. 

    But is way too hard to keep emtional and physical separate.

     Ive been in a friends with benefits relationship, i think it was a way to cope with tramua and to feel in control of my body again(as selfish as sounds & made me feel worse with shame) But it just didnt work because started getting jelous and i didnt know of that meant emotions so ended that sort of relationship which ended the friendship which is sad cause was good friends. But basically i mean sex is a vulnerable thing & build some level of trust and emotions imo, 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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