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Who do I like?

Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family

I just wanted to post on here because Iv been thinking about what I like. For a long time I was certain that I was bisexual but now I’m really not sure. Is it neasasary to label ourselves? Who we love is who we love right? No matter what gender they are. Just wanna know if anyone also has any tips on coming out to your parents. Thankyou


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru

    There is no need to label our sexuality because it is so fluid. We could be lesbian and have no feelings towards guys, but still be attracted to one that has a particular way about him, something that is warm and caring. Sexual fluidity means your sexuality varies from time to time.Sexuality is diverse, and deeply personal. Understanding our sexuality is about the sexual feelings and attractions we feel towards other people, not about who we have sex with. There are different types of sexuality, and it can take time to figure out what fits right with you.

    At one time I thought I was bisexual, but that feeling misted away when meeting Dixie; that one lingering look, that touch of her hand, then she hugged me and her eyes dilated as she gazed into mine, melting me to fall helplessly headlong into a beautiful melty relationship.... that we have been together ever since, deeply committed in a lesbian relationship that has seen us happy together with virtually no arguments for four incredible years going five. Men have no attraction to either of us, even the prettiest of guys. Mum for the outset loved my girlfriend's gentle way and softly spoken voice that she took to Dixie straight away.

    My advice is to get to know other lesbians, just as friends, and when that girl comes along who you 'feel' something for - you find her intriguing or feel self-conscious around her or just want to know her better, then go for it. Here are some possible signs to be aware of:

    Eye contact, if she looks at you constantly in a gazy sort of way or distracted way. Asking her, ask her maybe if a good looking guy is hot, good looking, handsome, not interested, etc. Try flirting with her, even, and see how she reacts; if she is nervously biting her lip then there could be a strong possibility she is thinking of kissing you; or if she tries to get to know you, asking questions about you, perspiring lightly and breathing very little while twiddling her hair and holding her steady gaze upon you as you talk, or her talking... in which case I firmly you would be on your way into finding her to be that adorable woman you will love and keep loving for her sweetness, generosity of heart and love for you no matter what anyone else says. I hope these helped.

    You could join an LGBT centre, or tjier forum or contact them. Nationally they are absolutely wonderful to people who are unsure and are searching. There is no time limit into discovering your sexuality, hun. But I know where I am in my life with my Dixie and next year will see a wedding ring on our fingers.

  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    @julie thanks for that story and it’s good that you found Dixie. I agee with everything you said an I hope that one day I will find someone who I love deeply x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru

    You are always welcome to pm me, and any time. If I can help, I will. If I don't know anything, then I'll find out. :)
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Thankyou @Princesa
  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandPosts: 7,354 Master Poster
    Hey @Butterfly23 ,

    I hope you're doing well.

    Absolutely no need to label your sexuality, or come out to anyone if you don't feel ready to do so. Yes, you're right - who you love is who you love, it doesn't matter that person's gender. If you love them then you love them!!

    Take care!
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • RayofhopeRayofhope Posts: 152 Helping Hand
    Hi Butterfly,

    Just following on from what the others have said there defiantly isn't any need to label your sexuality at all and coming out isn't something which you have to do. Hopefully in the future people wont have to worry about coming out to others, as it will be fine to just love who you like and that will be the normal thing, and the gender of the individual wont matter.

    How are you feeling at the moment?

    Life doesn’t require we be the best, only that we try our best
  • PositiveAuraPositiveAura Posts: 150 Settling in
    Hi @Butterfly23 ,

    I agree with you all here and think that we shouldn't have to label ourselves.

    Really labels are just a way for society to put people in boxes and keep people in order.

    I know that parts of the world are still struggling with the fluidity of sexuality but I hope that times are changing and people are becoming aware of how different people are.

    I also don't think everyone has to come out. I mean, you never have someone sit their parents down and say: "I have something to tell you....I am heterosexual." So don't feel pressured if you don't want to. The time may come when you want to talk about it with them and if that does happen, you can always hint first to guage their reaction. For example, asking what they think about [insert celebrity or person] who has recently spoken about their fluid sexuality.

    Other people sometimes decide to tell their parents when they are in a relationship with someone. And introducing them ends up being their own was of 'coming out'.

    If you find that you do want to reach out and meet others, like @Princesa suggested, joining or going to an LGBT centre is great. There are so many things out there and meeting others who feel the same as you do is such a comforting thing.

    Plus, everyone will embrace you for who you are there and give you plenty of advice. :)

    Like you said, who we love is who we love!

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru

    Our LGBT centre is super-helpful and most supportive. They are knowledgeable about the various aspects of sexuality, so drop in at one of their branches, but it's probably best if you sign with them to get updates.
  • Almist04Almist04 Posts: 22 Confirmed not a robot
    I am a bisexual male and I want to say to you that my definition of homo, hetero, an bisexuality is split into 2 worlds:

    1) Sex:
    Ever gone on a site, I mean like a porn site, not that you have too, but then if there is one, go to the gay section. If you don't find it repulsive, then chances are you can be/are gay, same with the straight section.

    2) Love:
    This is a bit more complicated... Falling in love is hard to really wrap your head around. I would just say here follow your heart, if you love someone, your soul will be intertwined with theirs...Just ask yourself "am I in love". and if your answer honestly... You will have answered your question
  • TheMixTheMix The Mix HQPosts: 2,666 Staff Team
    Hey everyone! This is quite an old thread now so I've closed it :) 

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