What to tell my parents?

AshleenAshleen London Ontario CanadaPosts: 108 The Mix convert
So I'm a 17 year old girl and I don't really know how to tell my parents I'm bisexual.. I don't know what they will say.. I don't think it'll be a bad response but I'm nervous and scared how do I properly tell them? How do I  Explain to them what it means if they don't know? I'm not sure what to do about it ...
Aidan

Comments

  • AidanAidan Clever idiot Posts: 1,125 Fanatical Poster
    edited June 2018
    Heya Ashleen,

    This sounds like a bit of an awkward situation to be in, but plenty of people have worked out of it before so why can't you?

    For starters your parents don't even have to know you're bisexual, frankly it ain't theirs or anyone else's business :joy: But if you do want to tell them, that's your choice and probably the better choice too- honesty is the best policy.

    If you're bisexual, then you've always been bisexual. Your parents have known you your entire life, you're exactly the same person whether you're openly bisexual or closeted.

    I guess the best thing to do would be to sit down with them either one at a time or both together (somewhere quiet and private) and just be blunt. Tell them you're bisexual, but that it doesn't change anything. Most people are surprised when their parents are actually supportive of them, although some parents obviously aren't supportive and that is why people have this much dread when coming out- in case their parents are one of those parents.

    Bisexuality is surprising simple to explain, you can just explain that you still have heterosexual relationships but that you're open to homosexual ones too. An even simpler but more crude way would be to say that you're gonna fall in love with someone regardless of what's in their pants!

    Now that I think about it, what I just described is probably bi-curiosity and pansexuality, but neither me nor parents are modern we don't know the difference :joy:

    Maybe the mix have pages on coming out, if I don't find any then there'll just be a blank space after this: http://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/gender-and-sexuality/how-to-come-out-3741.html

    Guess I actually found one then :joy:

    I wish you the best of luck with this endeavour! And I promise it won't be that bad, just don't quote me on it :tongue:
    Aidan :)
    3.6, not great, not terrible
  • AshleenAshleen London Ontario CanadaPosts: 108 The Mix convert
    Thank you Aidan... I'm hoping to talk to my mom tomorrow.. Hope everything works out.. I want to tell them so they know.. I just don't like keeping things from them... Its not healthy for our relationship... I'll let you know how it goes
  • LaineLaine Horse hugger Posts: 1,250 Fanatical Poster
    Hey Ashleen!
    Hope it all goes well for you tomorrow :)

    Remember that parents are often misinformed and that's why they get confused about these things. 

    Sit down talk to them and make sure you explain it in depth.

    Many parents are just confused for their children's well-being so it's important to let them know it won't change anything.

    We're here for you every step of the way :) x

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈 

    "I will make you believe you are lovely!" ~ TOP

    "No one else is dealing with your demons, meaning maybe defeating them could be the beginning of your meaning friend" ~ TOP

    "What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it?" ~ Bastille
  • AshleenAshleen London Ontario CanadaPosts: 108 The Mix convert
    So told my mom..
    totally wasn't expecting the reaction I got tho.. I'm kinda happy crying right now!!
    My mom doesn't care who I like as long as I'm happy.. She doesn't mind she loves me for me!! I'm so happy she's not mad or disappointed
    AidanGreta
  • AidanAidan Clever idiot Posts: 1,125 Fanatical Poster
    edited June 2018
    That's great news Ashleen! I'm so happy for you  : )
    3.6, not great, not terrible
  • AshleenAshleen London Ontario CanadaPosts: 108 The Mix convert
    Thank you Aidan

    Now I gotta wait till 4:30 to tell my dad.. Hope he takes it just as well
  • LaineLaine Horse hugger Posts: 1,250 Fanatical Poster
    Congratulations Ashleen I'm so happy they took it while! 

    I told my mum first too when I come out and I found it really helpful to have her with me when telling me dad,  not to gang up on him but so she can help inform him so he doesn't think anything bad is going to happen x

    Best wishes <3

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈 

    "I will make you believe you are lovely!" ~ TOP

    "No one else is dealing with your demons, meaning maybe defeating them could be the beginning of your meaning friend" ~ TOP

    "What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it?" ~ Bastille
  • AshleenAshleen London Ontario CanadaPosts: 108 The Mix convert
    That's what I'm worried about.. My dad is old fashion.. I'm worried what he may say and how he may react.. I'm not sure I wanna tell him yet
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Noob
    Ashleen said:
    That's what I'm worried about.. My dad is old fashion.. I'm worried what he may say and how he may react.. I'm not sure I wanna tell him yet
    Then don't. You are not under any obligation to tell your parents, or anyone. In the meantime enjoy being your chosen sexuality and let the world deal with it.

    Frankly we shouldn't be under any pressure to tell our family anyway, be it nearest or dearest - even friends of our sexuality because plainly it's none of their damned business. Whether they feel bad or judgemental, it's not going to change you in anyway, and I would much rather you be happy and content with your lifestyle that fretting about coming out. Perhaps when you feel you would like to tell your father, then when the time is right. But it doesn't need to be right now, so don't go feeling the slightest bit guilty, ok?

    We have lives to live. Therefore, go live. :)
    I'm driven by self doubt.
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