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I’m sorry 😭

Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
I’m not good enough for anyone.. I’m not really good enough for this life either to be honest. All I seem to do is bring people down with me and I hate it. I hate myself and I hate how I act. I hate the fact that I’m too pathetic to go and get help. I’m sorry for letting everyone down and sorry for just being alive 😔 I’m not even sure if I want to fight anymore. I just want to leave this world.. I want to be free from how I’m feeling and leave so then everyone can be happy.

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Hey Butterfly
    I am so glad you’re seeking help from here- not pathetic at all. - in its self is progress & the things in which you achieve are important. Is understandably really hard to seek help.

    What do you think you’re not good enough for? Or who? Our minds can lie to us. & is hard when we put pressure on ourself. But we All have thoughts of thinking we’re not good enough at times. I know I think I am not good enough when I am comparing myself to others but -you’re just you, you’re trying which is Enough. But Sounds like you’re critical of yourself. Is there things you like about yourself?
    Unsure on what you’re sorry for? No one expects anyone to act flawlessly. I don’t think you need to be sorry. Esp for being alive.

    Also v sceptical on your idea of everyone being happy if you was to leave the world. Think would be far from happy.
    Thing is - You have so much self worth & you are good enough
    I’m sorry you’re feeling so low :( I wish I could be more help but we’re listening.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • FranFran Posts: 118 The Mix Convert
    Hey @Butterfly23 :wave:

    It's really good that you have reached out for help in this forum!! You'll find a great number of caring people!!

    It's very sorry to hear that you are having such bad thoughts and living such a difficult period. Would you feel like talking about that more specifically? Has anything in particular happened more or less recently and caused these thoughts? Are they generally or situational?

    None is too pathetic to get help!! You are not pathetic at all!! If you are experiencing a stressful moment, go get help without thinking that you can't or shouldn't!! Getting help is an essential first step to take to get better! Do you already know any professional? otherwise, you could ask for advice to your GP.

    Please, if you still have the feeling that you shouldn't be alive, reach out for help visiting this website :
    https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/what-speak-us-about/i-want-kill-myself

    If you feel like doing that, please tell us something more about you and take care :heart:

    - Fran
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi @Shaunie I just don’t think that I’m a good enough person for life. There are so many things that I mess up and I’m shit at helping others. There isn’t anything I like about myself at the minute I just hate everything and I just have bad urges to act on my thoughts cause I don’t want to be here anymore :( but thankyou for your advice xx
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Hello @Fran Thankyou and no nothing has happened to make me feel worse, that’s the bad thing. I don’t know why my mood has dropped so low recently. I’m not really sure on the idea of getting help for many reasons sorry :( x
  • Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hi Butterfly,

    First of all you have nothing to apologise for, you are a human being going through a low time, please do not feel you need to be sorry for anything here. :heart:

    It doesn't matter that nothing in particular has made you feel low, lots of us go through these patches with no real reason. I know you said you aren't sure on the idea of getting help. That's absolutely okay if so, but we might be able to help give you some options here, let you know what's available. For example, it's not all about going to your doctors and having to talk face to face, there are services to talk to when you are feeling low over text, phonecall or even live chat. Might any of that appeal to you?

    Sending you hugs *hug*

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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