DILEMMAAAAA

independent_independent_ Boards BabyScotlandPosts: 1,049 Fanatical Poster
Dilemma!! I don't know what I should do!!

So as many of you know, I have at most another 18 months left at school (I'll be 16 in December and can either leave then or in June 2019).

Last night I attended an event focusing on the types of school/college linker programmes that are available. It's basically where you can go to school, but 2 or so afternoons a week you go to college to do a chosen course (which can result in another qualification).

I had 2 options I was interested in: one being higher Psychology (equivalent to and A-Level). The other was a course in Media. At the moment, I'm thinking more about doing the higher psychology (although it is available at my school, I can progress further with it and it get's me into the college environment.

So, one of my teachers (support woman not subject teacher btw) today I told her about the college event - she's a very negative person so I decided to hold off telling her my plans/thoughts on the event. However, she came out with: "Nah, you'd be better off staying at school. You're too clever for that, a lot of people do those linking programmes because they aren't gonna get good qualifications - and that isn't you".

However, last night's view from the staff at the college was completely different - anyone could do it.

I just don't know whether to go for it - if I do, she will think I'm taking a crappy career path and therefore be horrible about it. But if I don't, it means another year with a full time school timetable and (you guessed it) more negativity from her more than I need.

The problem is I'm not thriving at that school... I feel like if I don't do this I will probably end up leaving at Christmas - which would be received equally (if not more) badly.

I'm just sick of all the negativity at my school... they make me doubt myself!!

Sorry this is so long!!

Comments

  • MirabelleMirabelle Owl Whisperer Kensington.Posts: 1,020 Fanatical Poster
    I'm very suprised your support woman made that remark. "Higher education" is college and it is for clever students so you must never put yourself down, Eleanor. Students at college study in a more laid-back atmosphere which is completely different from the institutional education you are suffering, and my aunt tells you that the standard of learning will be higher and coursework will be more intense. College prepares you for university, but you would be happier there than staying on in your school that you hate. It's no surprise that you're not thriving, having teachers so boringly boorish. The reason that support woman never graduated to higher education is reflective on her state of attitude, my aunty said. She's right, you know.

    We have a family friend in Canada doing her PhD in clinical psychology. What she is doing is the highest of the high, but our friend had to claw her way there with a determination that was admirable. At 27 going 28 she has health problems, but is single-mindedly centred on becoming one of the best. And so will you, hopefully. The interest you already have is smouldering like a fuse. Going to college will ignite it and so will your enthusiasm.

    Leaving school without educational qualifications, and what job would you do? my aunt asks. Probably something menial. So this is why she became a professional, and says that with determination, you will, too. :)
    'If you think education is expensive, try estimating the cost of ignorance'.

    - Howard Gardner
  • independent_independent_ Boards Baby ScotlandPosts: 1,049 Fanatical Poster
    Mirabelle wrote: »
    I'm very suprised your support woman made that remark. "Higher education" is college and it is for clever students so you must never put yourself down, Eleanor. Students at college study in a more laid-back atmosphere which is completely different from the institutional education you are suffering, and my aunt tells you that the standard of learning will be higher and coursework will be more intense. College prepares you for university, but you would be happier there than staying on in your school that you hate. It's no surprise that you're not thriving, having teachers so boringly boorish. The reason that support woman never graduated to higher education is reflective on her state of attitude, my aunty said. She's right, you know.

    We have a family friend in Canada doing her PhD in clinical psychology. What she is doing is the highest of the high, but our friend had to claw her way there with a determination that was admirable. At 27 going 28 she has health problems, but is single-mindedly centred on becoming one of the best. And so will you, hopefully. The interest you already have is smouldering like a fuse. Going to college will ignite it and so will your enthusiasm.

    Leaving school without educational qualifications, and what job would you do? my aunt asks. Probably something menial. So this is why she became a professional, and says that with determination, you will, too. :)

    And this is exactly what appeals to me about the programmes. At the moment, I'm a very mature 15, and being constantly treated like a little child is very frustrating to me. At the college, however, they were saying that although the standard of learning is higher and the strictness is increased, the treatment is a) more positive and b) more adult, which would be brilliant for me.

    The teachers at my school are mostly great, but there are 2 or 3 in particular (this support woman, the woman that I'm totally not scared of and some others). And so negative.

    Aww, that's so great about your friend. See, it is definitely the determination that get's you there.

    I really hope I will succeed... I mean I don't really know why I posted this (more as rant I guess) but I guess I'm a people pleaser and don't want to go the 'opposite way' to the majority.
  • MirabelleMirabelle Owl Whisperer Kensington.Posts: 1,020 Fanatical Poster
    You posted because your need is great! And anyway, there's nothing to be gained pleasing people except pleasing yourself. Go in the direction that your wish burns, for like my friend who started out wanting to become a pyschologist at 14, you like I will be embarking on a course of study that will see us into our 20's and beyond. The will is already there, sizzling. And years on, we'll laugh at those who told us our dreams couldn't be achieved.
    'If you think education is expensive, try estimating the cost of ignorance'.

    - Howard Gardner
  • independent_independent_ Boards Baby ScotlandPosts: 1,049 Fanatical Poster
    Right - Update!!

    So, me and said support woman were talking about the college again the other day. She is continuing to be exceptionally negative about it - telling me about the 'terrible' results people get, and how the support 'isn't great'.

    But everyone else (parents, other teachers, friends) have said to me that it's my decision etc.

    I just feel that if I go for it, she'll use it against me (just like verything else really)!!
  • MirabelleMirabelle Owl Whisperer Kensington.Posts: 1,020 Fanatical Poster
    Right - Update!!

    So, me and said support woman were talking about the college again the other day. She is continuing to be exceptionally negative about it - telling me about the 'terrible' results people get, and how the support 'isn't great'.

    But everyone else (parents, other teachers, friends) have said to me that it's my decision etc.

    I just feel that if I go for it, she'll use it against me (just like verything else really)!!

    If that support woman did use your decision against you, that would be highly unprofessional! If she did, then your mum should write a letter of complaint to your school's Board of Governors. That's what my aunt's just said and she knows a lot about the education system when once she slaved being a student.
    'If you think education is expensive, try estimating the cost of ignorance'.

    - Howard Gardner
  • independent_independent_ Boards Baby ScotlandPosts: 1,049 Fanatical Poster
    Mirabelle wrote: »

    If that support woman did use your decision against you, that would be highly unprofessional! If she did, then your mum should write a letter of complaint to your school's Board of Governors. That's what my aunt's just said and she knows a lot about the education system when once she slaved being a student.

    I hope she doesn't use it against me... I have enough against me at that place!!

    I hope it doesn't come to that with the letter, but I'll definitely suggest to her if she does.

    SO. FRUSTRATING!! I wish she could just leave me to make a bloomin' decision myself!! I'm no longer 8 after all!!
  • MirabelleMirabelle Owl Whisperer Kensington.Posts: 1,020 Fanatical Poster

    I hope she doesn't use it against me... I have enough against me at that place!!

    I hope it doesn't come to that with the letter, but I'll definitely suggest to her if she does.

    SO. FRUSTRATING!! I wish she could just leave me to make a bloomin' decision myself!! I'm no longer 8 after all!!

    You're not alone. I remember one teacher at my school abroad was similar, but I got my aunt to write a strong letter, so the disruptive teacher stopped. I wouldn't have thought your support teacher would stoop so low, but she might be the manipulative type, in which case would give your mum good reason to write that letter.

    Is there any chance you can ask the college admin if they will alow you to visit? Then you can have a good look around (you will given a guided tour), and that would help you a lot. Also, increase your determination to apply.

    My aunt strongly suggests you put in an application to join your college and do it before the March date expires. Getting shot of your school will do you a world of good! :yes:
    'If you think education is expensive, try estimating the cost of ignorance'.

    - Howard Gardner
  • AbigailAbigail Posts: 363 Rampant Poster
    Hey Eleanor,

    Hope your doing well and have had sone time to relax after the mocks.

    I know its hard figuring out what to do next i really do feel for you. Like you said before its your decision and if tou feel that a full school timetable isn't your thing anymore and you want a bit more freedom then go for the college stuff.

    Its what you feel is right for you. You could always apply but not go, if thats possible where you live?

    From some who is in college at the moment, college is a lot more relaxed and less striked so if you don't finish your homework on time they won't give you a detention for it. It really is a nicer atmosphere in college i will admite.

    Take your time with the decision ... and don't make one persons opinion stop you from fulfilling your dream and moving on with your life.

    Speak soon

    Abi
    Some people think i am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking
  • independent_independent_ Boards Baby ScotlandPosts: 1,049 Fanatical Poster
    Mirabelle wrote: »

    You're not alone. I remember one teacher at my school abroad was similar, but I got my aunt to write a strong letter, so the disruptive teacher stopped. I wouldn't have thought your support teacher would stoop so low, but she might be the manipulative type, in which case would give your mum good reason to write that letter.

    Is there any chance you can ask the college admin if they will alow you to visit? Then you can have a good look around (you will given a guided tour), and that would help you a lot. Also, increase your determination to apply.

    My aunt strongly suggests you put in an application to join your college and do it before the March date expires. Getting shot of your school will do you a world of good! :yes:

    Yeah - she is very manipulative and always has been. She's the old fashioned type (as my mum said re this, she's just an old lady). And I don't think that helps. She's also a very qualified person, always goes on about how many qualifications she has (which doesn't help either as she seems to think qualifying at my level is, for the lack of a better word, easy).

    I've been on a tour of the college aaaaaaaall the way back when, a couple of years ago. It did really help even then. And attending that meeting about the links really helped too - if I hadn't gone, I wouldn't have recognised the positivity and types of programmes available.

    I mean, I'll definitely put it in (everyone else except her has been supportive)!! I'm so glad I have my family to support me on this one - my mum has said she will speak to the teacher as, to her, I'm 15 and therefore not worth listening to. My mum is (of course) an adult and therefore she is more likely to take her opinion onboard than she is mine (is you get what I mean).

    Today she called the college courses a 'waste of time' and told me that it wasn't worth it again. The thing is, the more she says that, the more I want to do it so what's the point in her even saying that?

    IDK!!
  • independent_independent_ Boards Baby ScotlandPosts: 1,049 Fanatical Poster
    Abigail wrote: »
    Hey Eleanor,

    Hope your doing well and have had sone time to relax after the mocks.

    I know its hard figuring out what to do next i really do feel for you. Like you said before its your decision and if tou feel that a full school timetable isn't your thing anymore and you want a bit more freedom then go for the college stuff.

    Its what you feel is right for you. You could always apply but not go, if thats possible where you live?

    From some who is in college at the moment, college is a lot more relaxed and less striked so if you don't finish your homework on time they won't give you a detention for it. It really is a nicer atmosphere in college i will admite.

    Take your time with the decision ... and don't make one persons opinion stop you from fulfilling your dream and moving on with your life.

    Speak soon

    Abi

    Thank you for that Abi!! I'm so glad mocks are finished!!! Have never been more tired in my life!

    I just so hope she comes around to the idea (I know she won't but I can always hope can't I)?

    That's it - the full school timetable has never been great for me so to have the opportunity to get away from the full time thing even though I'm not 16 is just perfect.

    They said to me at the college that if I decided against taking the course, I could always reject the place if I got in.

    They were saying that it's definitely a nicer atmosphere (and my sisters, who both left school at 16 and 15 respectively, both thrived at college and school held them back).

    As I said to Belle above, though, this teacher is calling it a 'waste of time' and not even listening to my opinions on it. Also the fact that if I go this year, I'll be a continuing student when I finally leave school permanently - therefore will have my applications considered before those of others.

    Again, thank you!!
  • MirabelleMirabelle Owl Whisperer Kensington.Posts: 1,020 Fanatical Poster

    Yeah - she is very manipulative and always has been. She's the old fashioned type (as my mum said re this, she's just an old lady). And I don't think that helps. She's also a very qualified person, always goes on about how many qualifications she has (which doesn't help either as she seems to think qualifying at my level is, for the lack of a better word, easy).

    I've been on a tour of the college aaaaaaaall the way back when, a couple of years ago. It did really help even then. And attending that meeting about the links really helped too - if I hadn't gone, I wouldn't have recognised the positivity and types of programmes available.

    I mean, I'll definitely put it in (everyone else except her has been supportive)!! I'm so glad I have my family to support me on this one - my mum has said she will speak to the teacher as, to her, I'm 15 and therefore not worth listening to. My mum is (of course) an adult and therefore she is more likely to take her opinion onboard than she is mine (is you get what I mean).

    Today she called the college courses a 'waste of time' and told me that it wasn't worth it again. The thing is, the more she says that, the more I want to do it so what's the point in her even saying that?

    IDK!!

    What the old bird doesn't realise is the more she protests, the more single-minded you become for college. Funny, really, but she is blissfully unaware that all her negativity is actually a form of reverse psychology. Without realising it, she is making you all the more determined. :thumb:

    Your mum understands your desire to commence college and for all your positive reasons why, so she will speak up for you and speak well. My aunt adds that you will be worked hard at college for the first year, but be set on a path to greatness because you love the subject of psychology so much.
    'If you think education is expensive, try estimating the cost of ignorance'.

    - Howard Gardner
  • independent_independent_ Boards Baby ScotlandPosts: 1,049 Fanatical Poster
    Okie... yet another update:

    This support woman has continued to be extremely negative about me, so my mum has, today, sent her an email (CCing loads of relevant people lol). As far as I know, she (and others) have not replied yet but we shall have to see what she says.

    It's like... I just got reasonable mock results (3 A's, a B, and a D) and she's still finding things to be bloody negative about.
  • AbigailAbigail Posts: 363 Rampant Poster
    Okie... yet another update:

    This support woman has continued to be extremely negative about me, so my mum has, today, sent her an email (CCing loads of relevant people lol). As far as I know, she (and others) have not replied yet but we shall have to see what she says.

    It's like... I just got reasonable mock results (3 A's, a B, and a D) and she's still finding things to be bloody negative about.


    well done with them result you should be really proud of yourself. Glad to read your mum has stepped in this can help back up were your coming from. Again well done with the result hope your happy with them
    Some people think i am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking
  • independent_independent_ Boards Baby ScotlandPosts: 1,049 Fanatical Poster
    Abigail wrote: »


    well done with them result you should be really proud of yourself. Glad to read your mum has stepped in this can help back up were your coming from. Again well done with the result hope your happy with them

    Thank you Abi!! I'm mostly happy with them (the D in maths I am somewhat surprised at as I thought I'd done better but ah well).

    Support woman replied to my mum's long email today with... 3 lines. THREE!! And didn't even acknowledge what my mum said...

    Ok then!!
  • MirabelleMirabelle Owl Whisperer Kensington.Posts: 1,020 Fanatical Poster
    I've just told my aunt, and she suggested you screenshot your email and your support teacher's reply (all 3 lines) and keep it in case you need to take this further.

    "You may not need to", aunty says. "But the ammunition is there should you need to aim high in order to hit low." (meaning you next contact the school board of governors).

    I always said my aunt was a badass. :d
    'If you think education is expensive, try estimating the cost of ignorance'.

    - Howard Gardner
  • independent_independent_ Boards Baby ScotlandPosts: 1,049 Fanatical Poster
    Mirabelle wrote: »
    I've just told my aunt, and she suggested you screenshot your email and your support teacher's reply (all 3 lines) and keep it in case you need to take this further.

    "You may not need to", aunty says. "But the ammunition is there should you need to aim high in order to hit low." (meaning you next contact the school board of governors).

    I always said my aunt was a badass. :d

    Thank you Belle! I will definitely do that.

    On a positive note I think (for the moment anyway) that she may have listened to the email, as she's been notably more pleasant to me since it was sent!! Goodness knows how long that will last, though!
  • MirabelleMirabelle Owl Whisperer Kensington.Posts: 1,020 Fanatical Poster

    Thank you Belle! I will definitely do that.

    On a positive note I think (for the moment anyway) that she may have listened to the email, as she's been notably more pleasant to me since it was sent!! Goodness knows how long that will last, though!

    That sounds like a good start from her, but we'll see. Try and stay under her radar today, okay? Then you'll have that nice break you're looking forward to. :thumb:
    'If you think education is expensive, try estimating the cost of ignorance'.

    - Howard Gardner
  • independent_independent_ Boards Baby ScotlandPosts: 1,049 Fanatical Poster
    Mirabelle wrote: »

    That sounds like a good start from her, but we'll see. Try and stay under her radar today, okay? Then you'll have that nice break you're looking forward to. :thumb:

    Right!!! I don't have to see her again until 14th February!!!!!
  • MirabelleMirabelle Owl Whisperer Kensington.Posts: 1,020 Fanatical Poster
    Did you find your NI number and send off your application form? If not yet, make sure it goes by registered post. Then one of your school's admin will have to sign for it. Which will be greatness, so it won't accidentally get lost in the post.

    Fingers & toes crossed. Good luck! :thumb:
    'If you think education is expensive, try estimating the cost of ignorance'.

    - Howard Gardner
  • AngelIsMe21AngelIsMe21 Posts: 132 Two little ducks
    Dilemma!! I don't know what I should do!!

    So as many of you know, I have at most another 18 months left at school (I'll be 16 in December and can either leave then or in June 2019).

    Last night I attended an event focusing on the types of school/college linker programmes that are available. It's basically where you can go to school, but 2 or so afternoons a week you go to college to do a chosen course (which can result in another qualification).

    I had 2 options I was interested in: one being higher Psychology (equivalent to and A-Level). The other was a course in Media. At the moment, I'm thinking more about doing the higher psychology (although it is available at my school, I can progress further with it and it get's me into the college environment.

    So, one of my teachers (support woman not subject teacher btw) today I told her about the college event - she's a very negative person so I decided to hold off telling her my plans/thoughts on the event. However, she came out with: "Nah, you'd be better off staying at school. You're too clever for that, a lot of people do those linking programmes because they aren't gonna get good qualifications - and that isn't you".

    However, last night's view from the staff at the college was completely different - anyone could do it.

    I just don't know whether to go for it - if I do, she will think I'm taking a crappy career path and therefore be horrible about it. But if I don't, it means another year with a full time school timetable and (you guessed it) more negativity from her more than I need.

    The problem is I'm not thriving at that school... I feel like if I don't do this I will probably end up leaving at Christmas - which would be received equally (if not more) badly.

    I'm just sick of all the negativity at my school... they make me doubt myself!!

    Sorry this is so long!!

    A lot of people have this view towards colleges and it is wrong. Yes, studying in higher education in a school is different to studying qualifications in college but, as with anything, there are pros and cons to both.

    I was having this same debate 5 years ago-1)Stay on at school and study Health and Social Care in Sixth form or 2)Study any course at college and still gain qualifications from those. I ended up choosing to do courses at college and I am now more qualified than several I know who stayed on at school😱But this again depends on the courses you choose and education pathway you wish to go down☺

    Maybe doing a pros and cons list will help you consider the options and be a prompt towards making your decision? And I assume there's still some time for that yet, which is good☺

    Ultimately, it is your decision. This is YOUR life😊

    Will you ever be seeing or speaking to this support person again? If not, then that relationship with her should not be a factor in the decision you make for yourself😊

    Take this from someone who 's been there👍
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