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Finding solutions when you're arguing with your partner

AifeAife LondonPosts: 2,114 Staff Moderator
kills-a-relationship-is-certainly-the-arguments.jpg?w=700

Hey everyone,

Arguments in relationships are normal, but how do you stop obsessing about who's right and who's wrong and find solutions when you're arguing with your partner?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts!

- Aife
Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤

Comments

  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 623 Extreme Poster
    I think for me it's become just as simple as keeping in mind that you want to still like/love each other at the end of the argument! I don't say hurtful or unnecessary things while talking things out. I think arguments can actually be quite important in relationships so issues are raised and it can be resolved there and then if possible... Being honest and talking it out within the argument is the solution for me, then I have no reason to stew about it afterwards. I think life's too short to hold grudges against someone you love :)
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • AifeAife LondonPosts: 2,114 Staff Moderator
    Hey @Lucy307

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic. It's great to hear that for you being honest and talking things out within an argument are a solution for you.

    If someone's partner has a different management approach to arguments than you, how do you find that balance with them and come to a solution that works for you both?

    Look forward to hearing your thoughts.

    - Aife
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Fanatical Poster
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  • PositiveAuraPositiveAura Posts: 150 Two little ducks
    Hey all! :wave:

    ​Similar to this post:
    http://www.themix.org.uk/community/forum/thesite-topics/sex-relationships/3581323-how-do-you-stop-arguments-from-becoming-destructive
    honesty, listening and talking it out like a discussion can help here. When we shout and don't listen, you will just hurt one another and won't get anywhere.

    If you never find solutions and always disagree, sometimes its good to go back to basics and just ask simple questions to one another, as calmly as possible!

    For example:

    What are you both feeling?
    How is it affecting you?
    What needs to be changed?

    ​Asking these things to one another gives you a clearer idea of what the issue is and what the solution is. Rather than just shouting your feelings or saying I am right, you're not. Sometimes, both people are! Sometimes, neither are and it's just a misunderstanding. I don't think being 'right' matters. Like @Lucy307 says, so long as you both like/love each other and want to still be together, you have to remember that you both want the same outcome and move forward from there.

    @Meggles made a great point about taking time to calm down, think about it all and then sit down and talk to your partner with a clearer head. This gives you some perspective on the situation and also gives you time to sort through your thoughts without being impulsive and saying hurtful things in the moment.

    ​Remember the whole point of this is to work together and make your relationship better, stronger and happier.
    -PositiveAura:rainbow2:
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