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'Depression' and 'anxiety' at a new job

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've written a few things on here before about my situation with mental health.
Unfortunately today of all days I came to the realisation that it probably is a lot worse than I thought.

Today, I started a new job, it's my first ever job as I've spent my whole life so far in education. It's in the kitchen of a hospital, where I help clean things and take food to the different wards, it's incredibly faced paced and demanding. I was really excited but nervous to start this job - the prospect of finally having an income to get me out of debt made me happy. During my first shift today, which was only 5 hours, I found it increasingly difficult to work without watching the clock and waiting to leave.

I'm already having bad anxiety about working tomorrow, I don't want to go back.

Even though I haven't been diagnosed by a doctor (yet), I am aware that I possess traits, actions and thoughts of someone with depression and anxiety (I don't want to just say that I have it, as I don't want to disrespect anyone if I haven't been diagnosed with it). I've felt like this for the best part of 10 years, but only in the last year I truly come to realise it and understand it.

I've realised how much the way I feel is affecting me, to the point where my first day of work ends in me having a breakdown.

I want to go to a doctor about this, I've been on the fence about it for a long time, but I feel that I do need to start taking action now.
The thing is, I don't know how to go about asking my new employer for time off to seek help as it's so soon after starting.

I also don't know the course of action that would take place for me to get help while employed. I don't know anything about mental health and sick pay for this stuff. I'm 99% sure I won't get sick pay because even though I'm contracted to work a minimum of 20 hours a week, my role is 'temporary' (temporary in this job is anywhere from a few months to a few years) so I don't get the perks of sick pay.

Part of me wants to leave this job, find something else more suited to my needs. (part time, 3 or 4 days a week so there's enough time for me to breathe, doctors appointments, etc) but I feel like I'd be such a disappointment to myself, my boyfriend and my parents if I left this job after less than a week after trying so hard to get one.

If anyone has advice or knows the steps I would need to take to get help through all this I would appreciate it more than anything.

Comments

  • LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Hiya x

    If you go to your GP you will be able to get support and a diagnosis. if you opt for support you will be able to fit appointments around your work. and if you find it too hard at this moment in time and find you have to quit or take time off there is no shame in that, at this moment in time its about what's best for your wellbeing. try speaking to co-worker or your boss about it.
    the mix have an article about where to go to get support which you might also find helpful: http://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/looking-after-yourself/ive-got-a-problem-who-should-i-talk-to-22005.html

    If you have any other questions or need more support never hesitate to ask x

    All the best :rainbow2:

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
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