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Just one more hug

One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million NoobPosts: 525 Incredible Poster
I lost my nan back in February and there is still not a day gone by where I don't think about her and how much I'd love to give her one more hug! I saw my nan every week. She would tell me "you don't have to visit if you don't want to. You have your own life"

I always said and meant it "I come because I want to see you." I always gave her and my Grandad a hug and said I love you before going. But as she got ill she became so frail, I didn't want to hurt her. I remember 2 days begin she passed away, I went to see her and I just knew it was time. I couldn't hug her incase I hurt her so I held her hand against my cheek as it was the next best thing. I told her I loved her and said I was going home. I didn't want to go but I didn't want her to see me cry. Surely enough she passed away 2 days later. I've been through all the grieving and I suppose I still am. I'm getting on with stuff now and I'm happy, laughing and everything but tonight I'm lying here just wishing I could give her 1 more hug but I can't and it's making me emotional. In the day I'm fine so I suppose it doesn't help that I'm tired. But I still want to give her that one more hug Xx

Comments

  • Laura12345Laura12345 Noob Posts: 265 Boards Initiate
    Hi One in a Million. I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your Nan back on Feb. It's alright to feel like that one minute you are happy and then the next minute you are feeling emotional because you are thinking about her not being around. I know how u must be feeling I've lost a few people the last few months (see my posts!) and I feel the same as you sometimes! I'm always here if you need to chat just send me a Pm. I also feel right now that I might end up losing my cousin soon
  • One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Noob Posts: 525 Incredible Poster
    Thanks hun I'm sorry to hear you have lost some people too this year. I suppose we learn eventually how to handle it despite the fact we always miss them.

    I was actually not doing to bad until I came back to this thread and now I'm feeling a bit emotional again. Probably best I don't come keep coming to it really
  • Laura12345Laura12345 Noob Posts: 265 Boards Initiate
    Hi. Yeah I have lost some people and yeh we eventually will learn how to handle without hem although we will always miss them. So sorry to hear that you aren't good when u come onto the mix to see the post that's understandable. Take the time you need to grieve in your own way! I'm always here if you need to chat
  • MikeMike 🎧 LandaanPosts: 3,639 Community Manager
    Aww, Million. I can't personally relate to loss like this, but there are plenty of hugs going around here. *hug*
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.

    Want to join the community champions? Drop @TheMix a message!
  • e.g.vickerse.g.vickers Noob Posts: 7 Newbie
    I know that you don't know me, and I'm new here, but I am here if you want to private message me or something, to talk about anything. I'm always here for you (and anyone) to talk to. I lost my nan a few years back, and I've still not 'recovered'.<3
    Ed
  • One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Noob Posts: 525 Incredible Poster
    Hi Ed sorry I never got back to you. I remember seeing you in chat when you were struggling to get on the boards. Nice to see you here :)

    It just still doesn't feel right, going to her house and shes not there. I'm doing better now but I'd give anything for her to come back
  • Laura12345Laura12345 Noob Posts: 265 Boards Initiate
    One in a million I want you to know I'm still here if you need to talk about anything xxx
  • SunshineSoulSunshineSoul Relationship Squadee Posts: 57 Boards Initiate
    Hi @One-in-a-million

    ​I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your Nan. I can definitely relate to how you are feeling. It's been 10 years since my Nan passed away and she was the most wonderful woman in my life and I was utterly devastated as you can imagine. Losing someone is never easy and grief can creep back on us when we least expect it, but remember that it is okay to feel emotional and to miss her, it's understandable she was very important to you.

    ​Even though it may not feel like it right now, it does get easier over time and the hurt you feel now will lessen. What I find helps me personally is to cherish their memory and turn the grief into something positive. I'll give you an example...on the anniversary of my Nan's passing and on her Birthday I complete a ritual to remember her and it's as simple as drinking a coffee (my Nan was a coffee monster) whilst reliving memories of her with my Mum :)​ can you think of something you could do to remember her?

    ​I am unsure of what your personal beliefs are in regards to Life after Death but it may help to divulge into your spiritual side to gain some peace with her passing. For me I am unsure of what lies ahead when we leave this life but I am open and optimistic and believe both of our Nan's spirits are living on in a wonderful way on a different plane to us :heart:

    ​I hope you feel better soon, and remember we're always here on The Mix when you need someone to talk to.

    - Sunny :rainbow:
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