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Family are judgy

ShaunieShaunie Posts: 13,814 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
I'm really fed up of being constantly asked where i am going out to and who am i going out with. To the point I just stay indoors cause i can't be bothered playing 21 questions. And its a quieter life. And less stressful . But quite lonely and hoping anyone has any advice.

I'm pretty sure my family are racist, homophobic and just really judgy. I would go out more and probably have more friends if i wasn't looked down upon because of the people i want to be friends and surround myself with. I'm not bothered of the background they came from or what they look like or how they dress like as long as they seem like good people and have great sense of humour them course wouldnt mind being round them? like leave me alone and let me do what I want.

It's mostly my sister and we are the same age so I cant go out and make some random persons name because we know the same people and would like to know specifically. Few years ago it wasn't so bad cause we just did our own thing but she's always on my back now and spend more time with each other. I used to make friend with guys first cause i found it lot easier then make friends with there friends. But can't even meet up with opposite gender without them thinking it's friends with benefits. I don't see what it wrong with wanting to only be friends with a guy without wanting more then that?

I used to make excuses and say i had doctors appointments or therapy but i have no support now so dont really have any excuses to go out without questions. Would rather just do what i want without my family in my face all the time .

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Shaunie,

    A lot of people face troubles regarding who they want to hang out with. Unfortunately, this doesn't make it simple. Have you thought about having a mature conversation with your family about how you are less inclined to go outside because you feel like they ask too many questions. If you were to do this, it'd probably be important to show empathy by considering their point of view. For example, could it be that they're asking so many questions because they are concerned for your safety? Maybe they're concerned it'd impact your education/work? Showing understanding and maturity may put their mind at ease and give you more of a free reign. Perhaps a compromise would work, at least to start with? For example, only being out for a certain amount of time?

    How would you feel about doing that?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Try talking with your family and just simply tell them what you've told us on here. If they don't understand then it just says more about them than it does about you. Forget the judging and do what makes you happy. Of course this is easier said than done but ignore their judgy opinions as much as your possibly can. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having whatever friends you want to have. If you feel like you have no one to really talk or support you - speak to your local gp and find out about NHS or private counselling.
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