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Coworker giving girlfriend a lift from and possibly to work

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi Guys,

Just signed up as something is bothering me and I don't know how to help myself.

I've been dating this girl long-distance (for now). We have plans to be with each other long-term and we are honest with each other (or so I'd like to think).

She recently started a new job. The 4th day in and her male work colleague comes up to her with another high-position (president of the department or something). 2 hours of apparent talking, the coworker gives her a lift home.

I don't think this will be the only time he will be giving her lifts. I think he wil be giving her lifts from work (and possibly to in the morning).

I'm not totally happy about that for a myriad of reasons such as the fact that there are no friendships between a man and a woman...guys always want more. Before that, she got the bus home which allowed us to talk (time difference of 5 hours).

I'm not too sure what I should say or do as I'm losing sleep over it and that's a problem.

Please help.


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I also forgot to mention - my girlfriend was like "I'm finishing work, I'll call you in a few mins". I then wait for 2 hours, and she finally texts me saying "you won't believe what happened, my coworker approached me and then the boss. I'm now getting a lift from the coworker". "I felt like it would be rude to be on my phone".

    So what the f*ck!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi LoneWanderer!

    This is a difficult situation that you're in, simply down to the communication barrier. Have you spoke to your girlfriend about how you're feeling? Often, a lack of communication can lead to overthinking certain situations! Try not to get yourself too worked up over it, until you know the real answers; nothing is worth losing sleep over.

    Hope to hear back from you soon.

    Hannah :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Lonewanderer,
    If you have plans to be together long term and are honest with each other, you have nothing to worry about.

    This situation is more common than you think, if she's only been at work for a few days the manager and co worker may be trying to help her make friends or praising her for the work she is doing. I've been given lifts too and from work countless times by managers/colleagues. It's just friendly and nice to offer. In regards to the phone thing, it is seem as quite rude to be texting/making calls when your co-workers or boss is trying to talk to you so it's really understandable that she couldn't call.

    The mindset that men and women can't just be friends is really outdated, it's actually really common for men and women to be just friends, especially in a work place.

    I think you're overthinking this but if you're that concerned try talking to her and expressing your feelings about the situation

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Men and women can definitely just be friends, if my fiancé could get a lift home from a colleague every day I'd be really happy as it makes his journey so much quicker than if he got the bus!!

    It sounds like there is a deeper issue of trust that is causing you to feel like this. Is there a reason you may feel anxious about something happening between her and a coworker?
    Long distance relationships can be tricky but there needs to be trust between you both in circumstances like this. Maybe you should speak to her about how you feel to ease your worrying.
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