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Helping my friend with depression

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
I'm in grade nine in Canada (I'm 15) and I recently met someone. She is having a really hard time with depression, and I think it's because of a combination of a ton of horrible things. Her dad died 2 years ago, she has been bullied anonymously by a family (luckily they are moving away next year), she self harms, and stays up late crying almost every night and she also has bad self confidence issues about herself. She said she has gone to 4 therapists and none of them helped and I don't know if she has meds. She also said she thinks she would be dead (suicide) if I wasn't her friend and I'm really scared. I really want to help her but she seems to be in a really bad place and I don't know how to help her become happier.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I also forgot to mention, she hates her moms girlfriend because he is being weird and won't talk to her and her mom says that a 92% mark isn't good enough and makes her thing that whatever marks she gets aren't good enough.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Hey & welcomeee

    It is so so hard to watch someone like this. So You Need to also find ways of how to look after yourself & caring for yourself as well is SO important. So How are You feeling ?

    Its sounds like you are already so much help. Just by being her friend. Does sound like she's going through a lot but as hard and as helpless you may feel - being there is all you can do. Listening to her without judging. Trying to understand. And distracting her from her thoughts. Not nessically speaking about how she feels but im sure youre a lot of help by speaking about random shit.

    Reassure her it's okay the help hasn't helped yet. It can take awhile and patience. And the right therapist. Remind her of the positives in what she is doing which is seeking the support. Reassure she's not alone with herself and how she feels. And that people want to see her happy and you care. And reassure her she doesn't need to be 100% perfect. Cause no one is.

    You are doing just great. Please look after your self as well.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,312 Part of The Furniture
    Shaunie wrote: »
    Hey & welcomeee

    It is so so hard to watch someone like this. So You Need to also find ways of how to look after yourself & caring for yourself as well is SO important. So How are You feeling ?

    Its sounds like you are already so much help. Just by being her friend. Does sound like she's going through a lot but as hard and as helpless you may feel - being there is all you can do. Listening to her without judging. Trying to understand. And distracting her from her thoughts. Not nessically speaking about how she feels but im sure youre a lot of help by speaking about random shit.

    Reassure her it's okay the help hasn't helped yet. It can take awhile and patience. And the right therapist. Remind her of the positives in what she is doing which is seeking the support. Reassure she's not alone with herself and how she feels. And that people want to see her happy and you care. And reassure her she doesn't need to be 100% perfect. Cause no one is.

    You are doing just great. Please look after your self as well.

    :yes: :yes:

    Seconded!
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey, thanks so much for the support, and sorry for taking so long to reply. I have been trying to help her whenever I can and she says she's happy when she's with me. I found out that she gets very few hours of sleep and actually starved herself last year because she thought she was fat and has low self esteem. I'm doing pretty good and handling this but I don't know if this makes any sense or if I'm just wrong but I feel like she is kindof started to almost rely on me too much for happieness? It just seems like she says is only happy when she's with me and I want her to be able to be happy without me. I also found out that even when she gets really goods marks and stuff her mom calls her a disappointment and gets drunk kinda often. And that really doesn't help with my friends depression. :/ anyways thanks so much!
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Coltond86 wrote: »
    Hey, thanks so much for the support, and sorry for taking so long to reply. I have been trying to help her whenever I can and she says she's happy when she's with me. I found out that she gets very few hours of sleep and actually starved herself last year because she thought she was fat and has low self esteem. I'm doing pretty good and handling this but I don't know if this makes any sense or if I'm just wrong but I feel like she is kindof started to almost rely on me too much for happieness? It just seems like she says is only happy when she's with me and I want her to be able to be happy without me. I also found out that even when she gets really goods marks and stuff her mom calls her a disappointment and gets drunk kinda often. And that really doesn't help with my friends depression. :/ anyways thanks so much!

    Hey
    I'm glad you're doing okay. I'm not sure if it is wrong she depends on you for your happiness. But most people have people who make them happy. It gives them hope to carry on and a reason.

    But maybe encourage self care. To make her feel better. And do things by herself that will make her feel better when she is feeling low. And to seek more professional help
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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