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Am I odd? I don't do relationships or feelings in particular

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
I feel like I'm odd compared to everyone else. I don't feel like I could be in a relationship and yet I'd love to have kids. I want to travel but I'm too scared to go alone and everyone I know is either in a relationship or moving out of their parents place. I live at home and want to have my own place but I like having my parents around.
​I can't speak to my best friend anymore because she doesn't want to listen, she's got a boyfriend and it feels like I've been left behind.

​My nan passed a few years ago and I never really felt sad about it even though she was one of the main people in my life and the one I could tell anything to. I only recently started feeling sad about it but more in a I need you way than a I'm never going to see you again way.
​I've lost two dogs this year and it feels like it isn't real. One of them was like a shadow to me and I felt like part of me had disappeared but now it feels like she was never here and she only passed two weeks ago.

​It feels like nothing is real. I don't know what to do with myself and I hate the fact that I cant even pretend to be normal anymore. I just want to be able to feel happy and not cry randomly or get into a mood so bad that I hate everyone and everything.

​I know I sound selfish but I'm honestly scared that I will never be able to achieve 'happiness' because I don't know what I want and I'm scared that everyone I know will just leave me behind on the way to theirs.

Comments

  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 6,187 The Mix Elder
    Hey

    I'm really sorry to hear you're really struggling :( sounds like you have a massive fear of being alone? But i don't think you're odd and can relate to this. Atm I'm very distant with everyone. But it doesn't mean you'll never feel like you wanr to get in a relastionship. And maybe just not right now.

    And if you want to stay alone that's okay to

    And i know there is pressure when you see every one else moving on with their life but you don't have to go at their pase pass and do what you feel comfortable with.

    Maybe trying to work out what triggers you to sometimes cry and get Moody? And then be kind to yourself, let the feeling pass and do something uou enjoy and something positive.

    I dont think you sound selfish at all. Sometimes I'm jealous of other people's lives and fear people will leave me but id like to believe one day of find happiness. It's ok you domt know what you want yet. Youre Probably still young and have a lot of time
    “If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care” Marvin J. Ashton
  • raindrop96raindrop96 Posts: 19 Fast Newbie
    It can feel very daunting when everyone around you is getting in relationships and moving at different paces than you, but that doesn't mean what they are doing is the right thing for you to do. Emotions are hard to deal with, so take your time. Breathe in and breathe out, as Shaunie suggested, try figuring out what makes you moody. Get to know yourself better and you will be better soon.
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