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Sudden panic/feeling worthless/doubting self :(

Louu__Louu__ Posts: 24 Boards Initiate
Stupidly I've let something really get at me this evening and it's stirred up a load of rubbish, low, worthless feelings and currently led going over in my mind how much of stupid, pathetic, worthless person I clearly am :( it's taken so much work with my mh team and specialist support worker to get me to where I am and now I'm questioning why? About everything :( why am I here? Why did I let things happen? Why am I such a stupid person? Which obviously I am. All I tried to do was to try and help with some type of explanation and it's left me in such a state.
Currently having a huge anxiety attack, thanks to flashbacks - which I haven't had for a while :( in tears & shaking fearing past events :( I feel like this huge pressure is weighing down on my chest & I cant get that control:sense of safety back :( I hate getting to this stage. I feel so empty and worthless. I've tried grounding but my minds going round & round I can't think straight. I'm not in crisis so the crisis team aren't any use. Feel like texting everything g I feel to my support worker but worried incase her phone is on and it goes off or something. Just in a huge mess and don't know what to do right now :( why am I so fucking stupid

I'm sorry for the rambling post but thought getting it out my head and down might help

Comments

  • micamica Deactivated Posts: 98 Budding Regular
    hey Louu,

    Great to see that you used this space to try and help yourself. No need to apologise for the rambling, it's welcome anytime :) So sorry to hear you were feeling so low. While I know it's just words, I truly believe that you are very worthy, not worthless. it's so easy to get down on ourselves, but know that even when you have a hard time seeing your worth and strength, it is so clear to me (and others).

    How are you getting on today? I hope getting to sleep helped.

    Hugs! *hug*

    - Mica
  • JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,869 Extreme Poster
    Hey Louu,

    I just wanted to say I don;t think you are stupid or worthless at all - in fact quite the opposite. You are brave and strong and full of potential, you have got through so much and made it out the other side. I think that makes you very special. You aren;t stupid because of things that have happened to you, you're a survivor and you did your best. None of it was your fault, I want you to remember that.

    I hope you managed to get some sleep and are feeling better today,
    Sending love & hugs x
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
  • Louu__Louu__ Posts: 24 Boards Initiate
    mica wrote: »
    hey Louu,

    Great to see that you used this space to try and help yourself. No need to apologise for the rambling, it's welcome anytime :) So sorry to hear you were feeling so low. While I know it's just words, I truly believe that you are very worthy, not worthless. it's so easy to get down on ourselves, but know that even when you have a hard time seeing your worth and strength, it is so clear to me (and others).

    How are you getting on today? I hope getting to sleep helped.

    Hugs! *hug*

    - Mica

    Thank you Mica! I'm better than I felt last night but not great as a lot of doubt going around in my head but I'll be okay. I let things get to me too easily which is stupid in itself!

    Thank you for the lovely words :)
  • Louu__Louu__ Posts: 24 Boards Initiate
    Hey Louu,

    I just wanted to say I don;t think you are stupid or worthless at all - in fact quite the opposite. You are brave and strong and full of potential, you have got through so much and made it out the other side. I think that makes you very special. You aren;t stupid because of things that have happened to you, you're a survivor and you did your best. None of it was your fault, I want you to remember that.

    I hope you managed to get some sleep and are feeling better today,
    Sending love & hugs x

    Jelly - you are just amazing girl!! You always know what to say! Thank you so much for everything - simply fab!! I need to stop things getting at me so much. But I will get there one day, keep pushing through! Thanks lovely
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