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Home treatment - crisis

SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
in Health & Wellbeing
Hi everyone.
Ive been really low and having home treatement everyday instead of being im hospital. Yet im constantly there for self harming.(not your usual selfharm). My family dont care and never see anything wrong with me because im not an emo or anything and dont have cuts or injures on me, that i cant be selfharming or in a crisis. Which makes no sense. Im just myself with mental health issues.

But i hate the treatment. There strangers ive never met intruding on my day.
I dont feel safe ever. I get very suicidal and its so distressing and i cant control it. I can't get better and i was just told yesterday after being conviced i have depression that now i have something wrong with my personality aswell that needs changing. I think my personality is fine just how i cope with thoughts isn't. And now they want to change that. If thats the case im never going to be happy. No one understands how low i feel.
I feel like people die by suicide because they couldn't get better. I feel like thats going to be me. I cant get better. I just want to be "normal" "healthy" and the fact that won't happen i just cant come to terms with. My eating has got better but my constant low mood wont.
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

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    AllieAllie Posts: 235 Trailblazer
    Hi Shaunie,

    Im sorry to hear you are feeling so low at the moment. I completely understand how hard it is to have the home treatement team coming out to you and having them be complete strangers. They do try to keep the same people for you for your duration of being under them. I know this from personal experience with them. While its not something that works for everyone it could be useful to have them for the time being.

    I understand about the personality, i myself have been diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder and it is extremely difficult to live with. I remember from my experience of being in a mental health unit a few weeks ago one of the nurses said "your difficult to help" which isnt helpful. Its hard to hear that our personalities are not what others want from us but know you are not alone in this hun.

    I myself wish i could be happy and normal but these things come with time. Have you tried to speak to your family? I know it can be hard, my mental health doesnt get discussed at home because they dont understand.

    Im sorry you suffer with suicidal thoughts, its a hard thing to overcome but it will get better! Im always here if you need a chat!

    Take care,
    Kayden x
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    Hi Kayden
    Thank you very much for your reply.
    They just came round and was people ive seen before. Notncompletly strangers now.
    I dont think ive been diagnosised woth bpd but had doctors and he was suggesting it saying i need to change my personality. Which he could of worded better.
    I cant speak to my family about it, they are very judgemental about mental illnesses.
    Thank you and hope they helped you and hope you feel better since hospital.
    X
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    AllieAllie Posts: 235 Trailblazer
    Hi Shaunie,

    No worries at all! Im glad you saw familiar faces today! You are right, they could of worded it better than that, it must be very difficult to hear.
    I understand that you cant speak to your family about it, and im sorry they do not understand.
    Unfortunately not, but im getting there!

    Take care,
    Kayden x
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    I've been with the HTT and the way they discharged me was disgusting going from like 3-4 visits a week to nothing. I was discharged to CAMHS (that's who I'm with now but my care co has been off for "unseeable reasons" so my care should have been passed onto someone else but it hasent as of yet😞

    💙💚
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    Hey Steph
    Whats HTT?
    When i was with CAMHS it was called intensive support. I found they was really good and they should of slowly stopped seeing you nor suddenly. That is messed up. The adults version of home treatment is a lot different. Are you under 18?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Home treatment team is short for HTT

    Nope I'm 21
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    Have you not be transfeered to adults yet?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    No its up untill 25 years old the service I'm with
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