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What do young people REALLY think?

ShatteredSecretsShatteredSecrets NoobPosts: 186 Boards Initiate
(TW: Mentions of Sexual Assault, Rape.)

Hi Guys,

So I've just finished watching BBC3's documentary about where young people stand over the debate on consent.

I have to say I have never been so wound up and angry over a TV programme before. The things some of these YP have come out with is acrually quite scary. If you haven't seen it, it is currently on iPlayer. If not, a brief outline of it was that a mixed group of young people aged 16-18 were taken to an undisclosed location for a few days and their views on consent were put to the test. They were shown a dramatisation in three parts which written specifically for this documentary and they had
to decide whether they thought what they were being shown was classed as rape or sexual assault or whether it was simply a misunderstanding.

What do the rest of you think? Did any of you see it? Do you think consent should be something taught on the National Curriculum or in PSHE lessons in schools? I'm interested to see what the rest of you all think.

- ShatteredSecrets

I am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I watched it.

    I can't understand why things like consent, rape, etc aren't in school. I think they and sexual relationships are very important.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I thought I'd be breaking down throughout watching this but I was more angry than anything! The absolute shit some were coming out with, trying to justify what happened. Seriously, are you fucking stupid? Even after they had seen the third part of the drama - you could so clearly see that girl was nothing but uncomfortable yet people were still saying "she consented because she didn't say no". Fuck that. She was asleep to start with for gosh sake, that in itself seems sexual assault. And people that were saying "I wouldn't report it" or "I know people who have done things like this". Well your mates are fucking monsters then.

    Stuff like this should absolutely be taught properly in schools. It'll teach monsters not to be monsters and it'll teach people from a younger age about what's right and what isn't. This kind of thing is way more important than maths, english etc. I think it's absolutely fucking ridiculous that this is such a vague subject in school, that's if it is even mentioned.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To me, unless you actually say yes, you're saying (or implying) no. Some people are too fucking scared to say no or stop.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you guys seen this video that's been popular in the news recently too on this issue?

    It really simplifies things for anyone confused by comparing consent to offering someone a cup of tea.

    [video=youtube_share;zXju34Uwuys]

    And I'd agree with you @ShatteredSecrets I think it should be taught at school/college for sure :yes:
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Jo7 wrote: »
    Have you guys seen this video that's been popular in the news recently too on this issue?

    It really simplifies things for anyone confused by comparing consent to offering someone a cup of tea.

    [video=youtube_share;zXju34Uwuys]

    And I'd agree with you [USER="94967"]ShatteredSecrets[/USER] I think it should be taught at school/college for sure :yes:

    I got shown this exact video at my uni introduction. We got a chat from some guy from a company called uni smart about various wellbeing topics. They showed us this video during the presentation- just thought I'd say.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    apandav wrote: »

    I got shown this exact video at my uni introduction. We got a chat from some guy from a company called uni smart about various wellbeing topics. They showed us this video during the presentation- just thought I'd say.


    Same at my uni, it was shown to all freshers at the start of term. I think people are realising how lacking the education is at school and trying to make up for it, which isn't a bad thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's really cool to hear you were both shown this at uni @ninaballet[/USER] and [USER="95043"]apandav- a bit of progress by the sounds of it :) What age do you think it should be taught in school?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not sure which age tbh. But certainly before the age of consent, say around 13.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jo7 wrote: »
    Have you guys seen this video that's been popular in the news recently too on this issue?

    It really simplifies things for anyone confused by comparing consent to offering someone a cup of tea.

    [video=youtube_share;zXju34Uwuys]

    And I'd agree with you @ShatteredSecrets I think it should be taught at school/college for sure :yes:

    The police get a lot of stick so credit where it is due- Thames Valley Police are using that video in their latest campaign.

    Consent needs to be taught as part of sex and relationship education, as does domestic violence. I don't like the specific "consent workshops" that some universities have taken to running, because it puts consent in a silo and, even more to the point, just annoys and antagonises the very people it's meant to be enlightening.

    The reason why it needs to be taught as part of sex, not separate to it, is because consent is so nuanced and, really, consent is such a big part of sexual enjoyment. Consent isn't signing a form in triplicate allowing someone to touch their tra-la-la with their ding-ding-dong. It's about grabbing hold of someone and pulling them deeper into you, it's saying "touch me there, harder, ooh yeah". Selling consent as just good sex- and lets face it, which man doesn't want to be known as shit-hot in bed- is going to be far more productive than a lecture on what no means and what yes means.
  • ShatteredSecretsShatteredSecrets Noob Posts: 186 Boards Initiate
    It just is all absolutely mind boggling to me... that consent is such a grey area. It really shouldn't be. Like Yes is a Yes..

    Things that are NOT yes:
    • I'm not sure
    • ummm
    • wait
    • I don't care
    • whatever
    • no response at all
    Like it's not really that hard? Yes on occasion 1 does not mean yes on occasion 2.



    Sorry guys it's just something that really bothers me. Perhaps being a survivor of sexual violence really solidifies my views on this. But I definitely agree that if it is taught in schools/colleges then it must be done in an almost interactive way? Like don't lecture them because it just will not go in. I'm currently at university and I was not given any talks like this. I think everyone really should be given it tho. I think the video about the cup of tea really hits the nail on the head there!

    I am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

  • plugitinplugitin Noob Posts: 2,197 The Mix Regular
    Interesting learning point for me was that being penetrated orally counts as rape - I must say I didn't actually know that.

    It worries me that people still don't know this stuff and they still think it's fine. Consent isn't on the curriculum and it clearly needs to be - after this the group definitely seemed to be thinking more and the one guy actually considering whether he could have done something in the past is quite scary.

  • ShatteredSecretsShatteredSecrets Noob Posts: 186 Boards Initiate
    plugitin wrote: »
    Interesting learning point for me was that being penetrated orally counts as rape - I must say I didn't actually know that.

    It worries me that people still don't know this stuff and they still think it's fine. Consent isn't on the curriculum and it clearly needs to be - after this the group definitely seemed to be thinking more and the one guy actually considering whether he could have done something in the past is quite scary.



    Completely agree with you, Kate. You would have thought it would honestly be common knowledge. I suppose younger people just want to mess around and show off to their friends.. but at the cost of somebody else's mental health and dignity. It is honestly just way too far.

    I am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I haven't watched this programme, however consent should be taught in schools. There is no age too early really-the wording and explanations just need to be adapted to suit the age groups. It's always important for young people to know what is acceptable and what isn't-not only for the well-being of others, but themselves as well.
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,331 The Mix Regular
    No I didn't watch it but sounds interesting. Consent does need to be taught in schools.
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