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Struggling :(

Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
I feel so lonely, isolated and depressed. Today i have spoken to:
  • Papyrus
  • The Samaritans
  • Imalive.org
  • 7cupsoftea
Yes its crazy, im desperate to talk to someone.
''You were in the wilderness
Looking for your own purpose
Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
I knew you always would''

- James Arthur (YOU)

Comments

  • AuroraAurora Part of the furniture Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    Hey there Jess,

    Whats going on?
  • Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    Nothing - my depression has taken a turn for the worse and suicidal thoughts have decided to come to make my life even worse. its shit :(
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Miniposter Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Hi Jess

    I think it's really brave of you to reach out and seek help not only on the boards, but via helplines too. I also noticed from one of your previous posts that you see a counsellor. These are positive steps you are taking to help yourself. You're not being desperate, you just simply need someone to talk to and share your feelings with. It took a lot of courage for me to open up and post on here, and I'm trying to take similar steps to you in order to overcome my issues. If I haven't said the wrong thing in this post, I'm here if you want to talk.

    Pumpkin :)
    PS- I'm not a fan of Trump either!
  • Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    pumpkinpie wrote: »
    Hi Jess

    I think it's really brave of you to reach out and seek help not only on the boards, but via helplines too. I also noticed from one of your previous posts that you see a counsellor. These are positive steps you are taking to help yourself. You're not being desperate, you just simply need someone to talk to and share your feelings with. It took a lot of courage for me to open up and post on here, and I'm trying to take similar steps to you in order to overcome my issues. If I haven't said the wrong thing in this post, I'm here if you want to talk.

    Pumpkin :)
    PS- I'm not a fan of Trump either!


    Thank you Pumpkin, i would chat to you but i really dont know what to say.
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Miniposter Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    You're welcome. Neither do I- I find it really difficult to put my feelings into words. It's one of the reasons why I can't pluck up the courage to see a counsellor.
  • Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    pumpkinpie wrote: »
    You're welcome. Neither do I- I find it really difficult to put my feelings into words. It's one of the reasons why I can't pluck up the courage to see a counsellor.


    I do a mixture of drawing, writing and speaking when i see my counsellor.
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Miniposter Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    I've tried drawing, writing and speaking, and none of them worked. I know I'm being negative, but that's how my mind works
    I can't draw to save myself and nothing ever looks like I thought it would
    I can't put my feelings into words and I think it sounds stupid when read back so I tear up the paper/delete the computer document I've written/typed it on
    I can't say how I feel because I think it's complicated and that people won't understand

    And all of these things just remind me of my feelings and make me an emotional wreck.

    Sorry for being such a negative damper.
  • Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    pumpkinpie wrote: »
    I've tried drawing, writing and speaking, and none of them worked. I know I'm being negative, but that's how my mind works
    I can't draw to save myself and nothing ever looks like I thought it would
    I can't put my feelings into words and I think it sounds stupid when read back so I tear up the paper/delete the computer document I've written/typed it on
    I can't say how I feel because I think it's complicated and that people won't understand

    And all of these things just remind me of my feelings and make me an emotional wreck.

    Sorry for being such a negative damper.


    Counsellors dont judge at all - if it shows how you feel in a way you want to then that i great
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Miniposter Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Jess101 wrote: »


    Counsellors dont judge at all - if it shows how you feel in a way you want to then that i great

    Stupid question, but how can I pluck up the courage to go and see a counsellor? I did nearly go once, but I was too scared so I cancelled the appointment. I don't think I was quite ready to open up.
  • Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    pumpkinpie wrote: »

    Stupid question, but how can I pluck up the courage to go and see a counsellor? I did nearly go once, but I was too scared so I cancelled the appointment. I don't think I was quite ready to open up.


    That is understandable because it is such a big jump. I personally emailed my counsellor with what i have been through and he gave me a date and time and between that email and the appointment i tried to completely distract myself. Went out with friends, took every opportunity to go out shopping with my parents, watched films. But it is also important to keep saying to yourself, they wont judge me, there job is to listen to people, i am important.

    Also an important thing is to know that the counsellor expects you not to walk in, sit there and open up about everything. During my first session which is 50 minutes i must of spoke for like 10 minutes in total which is 1/5 of the time. They will completely understand if you just sit there, cry or are shaking with nerves because they understand how hard it is for people like us to come and seek support.

    Finally, always praise yourself and give yourself a pat on the back!
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
  • Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    I cant cope :banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::crying::crying::crying::crying:
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Miniposter Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    What's troubling you?
  • Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    these thoughts. i try to distract myself, i try to ignore them, i try to reassure myself that these are only thoughts but they are still here ruining everything
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Miniposter Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    I totally understand how you feel, I experience the exact same thing. I try and drown them out but I can still hear them. What exactly are you thinking?
  • Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    pumpkinpie wrote: »
    I totally understand how you feel, I experience the exact same thing. I try and drown them out but I can still hear them. What exactly are you thinking?


    Im thinking about how shit i am, how i have no future ahead of me and like is what is the point.
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Miniposter Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Jess101 wrote: »


    Im thinking about how shit i am, how i have no future ahead of me and like is what is the point.

    This is probably terrible advice, but just focus on something else when you think negatively like this. Try concentrating on your breathing, cram your head with positive thoughts or happy memories, or try to distract yourself by engaging in activity. You could exercise, draw, bake, etc. I know it's not easy sometimes, but stay strong, I believe you can. Tell your counsellor about this too.

    Pumpkin
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