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I don't know what is wrong with me

LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,331 The Mix Regular
I keep like planning out in detail ways to end my life but I just don't think I would evan though I want to. Some of the ways I feel aren't evan my thoughts (there voices in my head) and they're really rather gruesome and intrusive some of the things the voices say. The voices command me to do things and untill I obey what they tell me to do I don't think the voices are ever going to go away. With the command there comes and image so It's very very very clear and detailed. I am on medication for hallucinations however I'm still getting the voices.


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru

    Really sorry to hear you're experiencing this; it sounds horrible :(

    From your previous threads it seems like you're struggling with a lot; is there anything else in particular you'd like to focus on talking about?

    It sounds like the voices you hear are overpowering. How often do you hear these voices? Is there anything you currently do that helps these voices to go away? I wonder if you have heard of Voice Collective. Some of the stuff on there might be worth a taking a look at :chin:

    You mentioned that you are on medication for hallucinations, and I wonder if you've mentioned the voices to your healthcare professional. They may also be able to help you with this. What forms of support do you have at the moment?

    We're here for you *hug*
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,331 The Mix Regular
    Well tomorrow night is a very significant night as it's a year since I was a victim of a crime. I just have this going round in my head.
    You said this is the night that you die
    You did not longer answer. I lost hope.
    I did not want to loose you. I wanted you to come back.
    I have been waiting now for 52weeks.
    All the time I had hoped you just can't answer because you were rescued and in coma or in treatment somewhere.
    Some days are tough and today is such a day.
    When I don't know how to go on.
    Nobody should die from PTSD but victims do sadly,
    It will not be written in any death certificate.
    I want you coming back but I fear you have made your decision and you're not longer haunted again and again. I want that peace'.

    Noises can be connected to memories and I don't know what memories they're connected to' they're just noise and they frighten me so much I fear it happening again. A knock on my bedroom door causes this fright and I can't stand all that anymore without taking more tablets'.

    I don't know how often I hear the voices sometimes they're louder so harder to deal with. Yeah I have, I do talk to a lady from Voice Collective :)

    Yeah I mentioned the voices to my consultant psychiatrist and she gave me medication. I don't really have any forms of support.

    Sorry, my words have lost their sense. I don't know anymore. I feel very weak I need to stay in light of the rainbow.
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    Hi there I believe,
    Just wanted to check in and see how you're doing? It sounds like the conversation going through your head was powerful earlier this month and understandably causing you some distress - did it help at all to write things down here? Really hope you're feeling a little better now that the anniversary of the crime committed against you has passed - although I recognise that the trauma you've experience is still a concern for you - so aware that it may still be a factor.

    Good to hear you're talking to a lady from voice collective - it can be really hard to stand up to voices and as you say deal with them - have you been given any advice or techniques that you find have helped at all?

    You mention a consultant psychiatrist, but all feel you don't really have any forms of support - so I was wondering if it's maybe more general emotional support you're after? Not sure if you've heard of the Hearing Voices Network? It has a search function for finding support groups - unfortunately they're not nationwide - but might be worth checking to see if there's anything in your area? http://www.hearing-voices.org/hearing-voices-groups/

    Take good care of yourself and do keep us posted :)
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