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I can't deal with my emotions

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I feel stupid having to plead for help but there is nothing else I can do...

Since a few moths back, my friend group have been arguing a lot, it shouldn't bother me because I try to not get involved and I manage to sustain some sort of connection to most friends. Since a month back, I have been forced into the middle of these arguments, such as; Two very close friends of mine broke up, one kept blaming it on me and telling everyone it was my fault, I kept getting messages saying it was my fault and I had done everything wrong and I had messed up. I didn't believe it at first, I shrugged it off and talked to my two closest friends. Anyway, I managed to make friends with the source of the arguments against me. I had started to think stuff had cleared up. I talked to this "friend" via PS4 and then he told me some of his friends were inviting him to Skype calls so he would leave so I just agreed happily and carried on alone (which I wasn't very bothered about). There was a joke he made, seeming very aggressive towards me. I told him and said, don't worry "I don't mind" because I shrugged it off as a joke. He said thanks and that he only wanted it to be a joke. This joke also involved someone else, so I told her about it and to stay calm "it was a joke" She said she didn't like it but ok. I said it is a joke, she said He really doesn't like me. I asked him and he said he didn't say anything like that. I told him what she told me and explained to him that I am sometimes annoying and that I understood why he disliked me. I told him to next time tell me when he dislikes me so I can try to sort stuff out. He agreed and continued to make "jokes". I was slightly bothered about this but not to much. I talked to this girl about it and she seemed not as kind towards me and I asked if she hated me. She said she wouldn't ever argue with me. I think she hates me but I don't know why. My best friend, my very best friend added loads of people to the group chat and it was called "People I trust" I asked him why I wasn't included and he said he didn't trust me. I feel very depressed and kinda suicidal. I try not to do anything stupid but those where my only two friends and I lost them. I feel like I have no way to go anymore.:nervous:

Comments

  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandPosts: 3,205 Boards Guru
    Hi Quipy99,

    Welcome to The Mix discussion boards. Glad you found us. Please don't worry about posting your feelings here, no one here will judge you for them. You're certainly not stupid pleading for help. You've been very brave posting here and talking about these arguments.

    When friends argue it can be really difficult for you to deal with and especially if you have been brought into the middle of all of it. It's completely natural to feel hurt when friends do this to you. When I was in my last year of Primary school something similar happened to me so I definitely know how you feel here. First off, it's not your fault that they argue even if they blame it on you. It sounds to me like these feelings are making you feel isolated from others? How would you feel about talking to one of your parents about what's happening for you at the moment? If not your parents, you could talk to anyone that you trust outside of your friendship group.

    I'm honestly not sure what else I can suggest to you but sending you a big hug, it's so upsetting and I get that.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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