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So my relatively new gf has a kink...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey all,
My girlfriend of eight months just revealed to me that she fantasized about bondage, reads the erotica on the subject and watched videos in the past etc etc. She also alluded to trying this in the bedroom in the future. As she has JUST revealed this information to me we have not discussed much other than she would like me to have full control and she wants to feel "powerless" Now let me be clear, I have strong feelings for this woman and have every intention of continuing this relationship for a long time and in a healthy manner. Any other folks here know of further resources either here or elsewhere? To be specific I am looking for information to help me place her in a bondage/master scenario while fully maintaining her safety and integrity. Thanks for any/all who help, all advice is welcome!


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would take some time to think about whether it is something you are into or not. Then I would talk to your girlfriend about how she likes it, and if she has any preferences. There are some good sights around that talk about bondage. Avoid books like 50 shades of grey as it gives an unrealistic view on the kink. Hope this kind of helps
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Trust and safety is key here @Tobaccoman92 - it's great that you're able to talk openly about this with your girlfriend (althought it sounds like this may have been abit of a shok to you?)

    Keeping the line of communication open is certainly the way forward, perhaps making plans and researching together so that you both feel comfortable with trying this out. It's important to spend some time working out what you feel okay with and where your limits are.

    We have some good advice here on The Mix in terms of getting started which would be worth a read: http://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/having-sex/bondage-for-beginners-3925.html

    Let us know how you're getting on :)

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You say that she's fantasised about bondage, read about it and watched it - but you haven't said whether or not she's done it. If she has, it will be easier for you as she will know what happens. Is this a new interest of hers - or has she been into it for years?

    You've said you're willing to do it, but you haven't said whether or not you've done it with anyone else or whether or not you're into it. If you're not into it and you're only doing it because she wants it, that might adversely affect things for both of you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you're still around, tell us how things went.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's perfectly natural to want to try new things in the bedroom, and a little kink can go a long way :cool:

    That being said it's really important to sit down and talk about it fully before you try things, and establish what are your personal boundaries. It's also really important to talk about it after too, focus on what went well and what you'd like to try more of or differently. Trust and honesty are really important, if you cant be honest in what is or isn't working for you you might find it getting out of hand.

    Online resources are a great way to find out a bit more and how to gently ease yourself into whatever you are comfortable with, and these days you can order almost anything off the internet :razz: and shopping for things together to use in the bedroom is a really good place to start, as well as looking up information together.

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