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Self harm relapse

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So at 16 I used to self harm a lot! At 20 years old now I haven't intentionally hurt myself in over 2 years! Proud moment!

Things have gotten a bit sh*t for me recently, realising I ain't have enough money this year to do any of the travelling I wanted to do, my dad wants me to move out, which of course I can't afford to do. And most recently had a falling out with my new man.

Up until the last few days he has done everything he can to make me feel good and support me and was going brilliantly, suddenly now (as everything else turns to sh*t aswell) he also has stopped making an effort with me I am second choice.

As of tonight this all came to ahead and now for the first time in 2 years I have really strong urges to hurt myself again the way I used to, I feel as though I really need his support now more than ever but he doesn't know my history and I don't want to tell him yet if at all..

Begging for some support to get me through the night determined not to give in.

Thanks Guys xx

Comments

  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,288 Part of The Furniture
    Hey Babble,

    How did Sunday night go in the end? Whatever the outcome, reaching out like this, when you did, is commendable. You're right to be proud of yourself for being self-harm free for a whole two years, too! It takes real courage and determination, and whether or not you stumble a little now, you've got that amazing achievement in the bank.

    At the minute, it does sound like the water's rising for you and it's totally understandable to feel overwhelmed by everything. I'm wondering if you could relieve a bit of pressure on yourself by talking things out, whether that's on here or to someone you trust. You're more than welcome to share some more about what's going on and generally get things off your chest if you think it would help. :)

    How are things at the moment?
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
  • AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,026 Boards Guru
    Hello Babble,

    I am sorry to hear what you are going through. This sounds like a really difficult time, especially the fact that this is all happening around the same time. It is really great that you have posted on here, we are all here for you. I agree with Mike, it is a really great achievement that you have been self-harm free for two years :). Even though right now life can be difficult, you should be really proud of everything you have achieved because you are great. There is a great article here on The Site about having a self-harm relapse that might be useful to read. Let me know what you think :)

    You mentioned that you had a falling out with your new man? I am really sorry to hear this. It must be really difficult because you said he was there as a form of support for you. Have you told him that he was really good with supporting you and making you feel good?

    Feel free to keep posting here as much as you like, I really hope things start getting better soon.

    If you ever want to seek further support in times of crisis, the Samaritans can be contacted by phone or email and they can provide great support.
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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