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Help please - need support to stop self harming

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am trying to help me and a couple of my bestfriends we all started to self harm and like I have started to stop but I don't know how to get them to stop because they seem to think that it's not hurting themselves or their families to do this but I am fighting the urge to self harm and I was wondering if you could give me some ideas to help me and my friends both to stop self harming for good:(

Comments

  • Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    Its good to hear that you want to stop self harming, its not easy and i wouldn't advise you to go from self harming to not self harming straight away because most people use it as a coping mechanism so they dont cause further harm on themselves, here is some things that i do instead of hurting myself:
    • Start a diary - write your feelings down in it and positives and achievements of the day
    • write my worries down on some paper then screw it up then rip it up
    • Take a look at the elastic band or ice cube method
    • Go for a run to release negative energy
    • Punch your pillow
    • Read a book
    • Listen to music
    • Colour or draw - those adult colouring books are really good
    • Use pens to draw on where you would self harm
    • etc.
    I hope one of these works and i wish you and your friend all the best. *hug*
    ''You were in the wilderness
    Looking for your own purpose
    Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
    I knew you always would''

    - James Arthur (YOU)
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Hi Cathleen :wave:

    I agree with JPeople- it is a great stop in wanting to stop self harming. JPeople has some fantastic ideas on coping mechanisms, do you think you could give them a try? Perhaps you could share these ideas with your friends too- its nice that you can help support each other.

    Also, I am just wondering if you've confided in anyone outside of your friends- family, other friends, your GP?

    Sending *hug* s
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OK I will share these ideas with my friends and we will try them and I am happy for all the support we are getting. Yes we have shared to a few of our other friend what was going on but they tried to help but it didn't work but I am thinking when I show my friends this page and they see all the support you are willing to give it will help us stop and never go back to that so thanks and I will try these
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OK I will share these ideas with my friends and we will try them and I am happy for all the support we are getting. Yes we have shared to a few of our other friend what was going on but they tried to help but it didn't work but I am thinking when I show my friends this page and they see all the support you are willing to give it will help us stop and never go back to that so thanks and I will try these

    "you are your friends all started to self harm" it kinda sounds like you all started at the same time which would indicate that you all started at the same time, like it was fun or something.

    How old are you and your friends if you don't mind me asking? Perhaps the group is being lead by an older or someone in your group is provoking the others? There's nothing wrong with harming, people release anger or emotion in different ways. Good luck :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, I was also wondering if yourself and your friends decided as a group to start self harming together?

    It might sound harsh but if that's the case then I really feel that it might be good for your own well-being and maybe even theirs if you had some space away from your friends, even just for a short period.

    You mention that you want to stop which is brave, but it'll be extremely hard for you to stop if you're surrounded by a group of friends that want to carry on and aren't aware of the consequences.

    Look after yourself and do let us know how you're doing *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No we didn't decide to all start to self harm at the same time my friends started because of boys and home stuff and I started because of some stuff at school and also my past which I don't like to talk about and we are still in middle school
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It was my friend Rosa who started first then my friend baby (yes that is her real name) then my friend Adriana and then me but I am trying to help us all and I'm thinking that since I was the last to start I might be able to stop faster then I can truly help my friends to stop
  • plugitinplugitin Posts: 2,197 Boards Champion
    Hey, it's great you're wanting to stop self harming and we'll done for making that decision :)

    I was going to reiterate that it might be a good idea to step away from your friends for a while to concentrate on getting yourself to a better place and build up some coping mechanisms so you can reduce the urges to self harm.

    With regards to your friends, do you think they'd want to seek professional help from someone about the self harming and potentially the issues that are leading them to self harm?

    Good luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It was my friend Rosa who started first then my friend baby (yes that is her real name) then my friend Adriana and then me but I am trying to help us all and I'm thinking that since I was the last to start I might be able to stop faster then I can truly help my friends to stop

    It's ok, you're very brave trying to help your friends. Do they pressure you into doing it with them, like a group thing?

    Tell your friends they can be Emo without harming themselves. This is a dangerous path you're all going down, one which can have life long consequences. You're all like 13 and 14 and at such a young age harming yourselves already is not healthy.

    Find new friends, trust me you'll thank me later on in life. Good luck.


  • TheMixTheMix Posts: 3,040 Boards Guru
    Hi Cathleen,

    I just wanted to drop in to say given your age you might find Childline a useful source of support as well. You can talk to a counsellor in confidence about what's going on for you. You can call, email or use their online chat service: http://www.childline.org.uk/talk/Pages/Talk.aspx

    TESS also have a text service and helpline for girls and young women who self harm: http://www.selfinjurysupport.org.uk/...upport-service

    Keep posting and let us know how you're getting on, as others have suggested it could be helpful to focus on yourself and encourage your friends to do the same for a while so that you can all get the support you deserve for your individual issues. It's really admirable that you're trying to help everyone but make sure you're helping yourself too.

    As @plugitin says too - it would be good to consider if you or any of your friends would feel able to talk to a professional about this - perhaps a school counsellor or a doctor?

    *hug*

    Jo
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with those who have suggested taking a step back from your friends for a while. I've been in a similar situation before, I was self harming and a few of my friends were too due to other reasons and I couldn't get better whilst surrounding myself with them, but taking a step away from them just for a short while allowed me to get on with my recovery
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well thanks and I might just step back from my friends a little and no my friends are not emo they just like to act like it sometimes
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you and your friends getting help? I think that given the situation, as others mentioned, you do need to find other friends. You shouldn't, imo, try to help them. The help they need I don't think you can actually give them.
  • TheMixTheMix Posts: 3,040 Boards Guru
    Hey everyone,

    We've deleted quite a few posts here as it seemed like things were getting a bit off topic. Let's focus on Cathleen and how she can support her friends :thumb:

    Cathleen, do you think any of the tips and places to get support that have been mentioned could be helpful? :)
    We're @Aife, @Ella, @Emma_, @Gemma, and @JustV - the staff team here at The Mix.

    Our DMs are monitored Monday - Friday (10am - 6pm) with limited cover on weekends. We have a great team of moderators looking after the community outside of those hours to check in on any reported posts.

    We're not able to provide support on this account. If you need support urgently for any reason, please call 999, go to your nearest A&E or contact Crisis Messenger by texting THEMIX to 85258.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I actually am trying a few of these ideas and so are my friends and they are really helping so thank you for all the support to
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I actually am trying a few of these ideas and so are my friends and they are really helping so thank you for all the support to

    You're very welcome.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My friend baby has stopped and I haven't felt the urge to self harm in a while but keep giving us the support because it is helping alot and thank you all
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