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I'm in love with my teacher

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am a senior in high school and still genuinely in love with my sophomore chemistry teacher.
I started to fall for her one day when I walked into class and I was bawling.
She didn't even ask me what was wrong. She just let me go to the bathroom and wash my face. When I came back I talked to her about why I was upset and showed her the messages my mom was sending me and how mean they were. She was so protective over me and passionate about it. A few weeks/months later I realized the way I was feeling about her. I'm drawn to her in so much more than a sexual way. I just want to hold her. That sounds cliché but I would give anything to pull her in close to me. She's so beautiful but a natural and athletic type of beauty and she doesn't even know it... Which just makes it that much better. (But don't get me wrong... I would never persue this. She has a husband a two kids)
People always used to tell us thstbwe were so much alike... That we looked alike, acted alike, and even made the same facial expressions.
Being in love with her isn't my only problem though... Up until now I've been completely straight. Not attracted to girls at all and this whole situation is making me question my sexuality. There's so much confusion surrounding this whole situation.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Alex890,

    Thanks for sharing with us - it's not easy sometimes to admit to a crush like this and it's not easy to live it either.

    I think you've had good advice from AccessDenied and like you said yourself, you know you'll never go there as she is your teacher and married with kids. But doesn't mean it's not confusing and hard :(
    It's ok to explore your sexuality and experience things that perhaps you haven't felt before - none of this mean you have to label yourself now, as anything. Letting yourself feel what you feel is part of life and doesn't always mean you need a definite answer to what it means.

    I just wanted to mention something i noticed - you mention that yes you are sexually attracted to her, but it seems like this deep attraction led to a more emotional one, once you felt she was there for you when you were upset. It's very common to have feelings towards people who are caring towards us, but sometimes it's more about us than the person. Doesn't mean your feelings aren't real, and this could be completely wrong, but perhaps this shows you miss having someone there for you at the moment- needing maybe some extra understanding and protection?
    You didn't mention exactly what you were upset about that day (sounds like things are not great with your mum?) but i'm just wondering whether you feel you have close friends or other family members that can also be there for you and who you can open up to?

    ​Along with the sexuality article posted above, have a look at our article on Loving a teacher when you can. Do let us know how you get on *hug*




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