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Work Stress/Anxiety

My manager keeps throwing a million things at me last minute. She wants me to organise an event. Thing is my job isn't just about organising, I've got to spend time with the residents and encourage them to take part in activities.

I'm very worried about organising the event and I think it will be too stressful for me. Especially as it's only me and one other colleague who share this role (and we don't even work at the same time). Now she's even told us a date she wants the event, which is my day on shift, so I feel extra responsible for it. Plus I've never organised anything like this before.

On top of that she keeps asking for a lot of other "big" tasks (last minute). I always struggle to finish tasks as I feel I get too many at once. Plus I feel I have to juggle organisation with day -to -day tasks. And I'm worried what other people will think if I spend too much time away from the residents organising, as they bitched about the person who used to do my job (I was in a different role at my work at the time) saying "it's terrible he spends too much time on the computer". (In my role we more or less just plan our own day, don't have specific set times).
I feel very stressed and I'm so worried about work tomorrow.

My therapist suggested that I tell her how I feel, but I'm too scared to do it. Plus I know what she's like, she'd probably just say " I know it's hard" and everything would just stay the same.

I think having my current struggles/ issues makes it worse and is made worse by this work stress/anxiety. I don't plan on telling my manager about this, or that I'm getting therapy or on medication.

I really don't know what to do. I'm dreading work because of this stress/ anxiety.


  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    I feel like this is just another addition strain on me at the moment. I have far worse struggles but work is just adding to it all :(
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    I managed to tell her that it was too much for me and that I didn't think I'd be able to do x task in time, she was just like okay :) result! Busy day at work but I think I can manage it, got it all planned. Can't believe I was worrying so much, I like it when a plan comes together
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :yippe: Well done! What a fantastic outcome and good on you for having the courage to be honest. Sounds like some good communication skills at work there.

    Worth remembering this experience - in relation to your other thread on distractions, could be one of the positives you write about :chin:
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Thanks Jo :) I feel proud- I was "assertive" for a change!

    Still think I have a lot to work on though in terms of telling people my thoughts and feelings but still!

    Yeah that's a brilliant idea, I should! It would be good for me to look back on this positive step.
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    I'm so glad today's over, it was stressful and still got a lot on my plate but I'm trying my best to "not take on too much at once". I've made it clear to my colleague that we need to share the workload as it's too stressful me doing it all on my own (which I was close to doing). Still got a lot to do, but I'm glad got a few days off so I need to try to forget about work for a while.
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    **NOTE PARAGRAPH 3 MAY BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME PEOPLE** I've avoided detail but just being extra cautious!

    So now I've missed two days at work. I'm actually still very stressed by this event she wants us to organise - time is closing in. I've done barley anything for this event (as Monday at work the Internet was broken which I need) and as I've took the other 2 days off, yet it's a lot to organise last minute. This was on advice of professionals. They said I should see how I am nearer to Tuesday and consider getting a sick line if I'm still not "fit" enough for work.

    Thing is I've been lying to my parents as to why I'm off sick (which is struggling with mental health), so I have to go back to work on Tuesday. Thing is I'm worried as work is too stressful at the moment and it's adding pressure to me and making me worse. I've been dreading work so much the past few weeks and now it's got out of hand. I really don't want to go back to work as it's too stressful, causes me too much anxiety and is too much responsibility, especially when I'm not at my best.

    You probably think I'm exaggerating but I know it seems like nothing, but to me this feeling is destroying me, I feel sick with worry so much so I've been having dangerous irrational thoughts. For example I've been wishing that something bad happens to me on my way to work!

    So my question is, I'm debating whether I should say something to my manager. I've already told her I was "stressed" on a few occasions but she doesn't realise the extent so isn't really helping me at all. I think I'd be able to cope better with extra supervision and/or reducing/ more help with organisational work. We are supposed to have supervisions (individual progress meetings with management, which we can also bring up our concerns at) every month but I've not had one in 6months! Hence why I'm debating on saying something- as I can't tell my parents the truth, hence I can't get a sick line (can't hide as I live with my parents).

    I'm just worried as to what would happen, what she would say? Somebody on a helpline told me they can't discrimate under the equality act but I looked that up and I'm not sure if it applies to me. Because I've not be diagnosed with any mental health problems officially. Like I have mental health issues and at my assesment they said "we are going to help you tackle this illness". I don't know what they ment when they said "illness". I don't know all the ins and outs of these terms and whether I would qualify or not. It also says it has to be likely to last at least 12 months but I have no clue as to where I stand. I've only just recently been 100% honest, I made things seem not as bad as they were, plus things have gotten worse for me.

    Can somebody explain what this means if I don't qualify under this act? Is there anything there to stop my employer from dismissing me.

    Also if I was to tell my manager, what's the best way to word things.

    Do I need to tell her that I've been taking medication - antidepressants (which I have been for 3 weeks now so if that's a breach I've already breached). I'm worried that there was a clause in my contract when I joined! Can't find anything in my copy of my employment contract relevant but I remeber signing a different document in relation to health in January 2014 (when I joined this company, but it was a different role and contract altogether). I remember this involved a questionnaire.

    Do I need to tell her that I was assessed yesterday (Friday) when I was supposed to be on shift. They said I was definitely unfit for work over next few days. Do I need to explain that?

    What if she asks for more details about my thoughts, feelings etc., am I legally obliged to give this information?

    I've decided to ask on the site as I can't ask my parents for obvious reasons and also as I can't find information online (that actually explains it clearly, and that I can fully understand).
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Also I live in Scotland but I'm pretty sure the UK laws apply to us for this area. Cause our laws are a mixture of Scottish and UK laws (set by Westminster) for different areas. Like I know we have our own education but border force is same laws to rest of UK etc.
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Sorry for all the questions, and if some of them are a bit silly. But this is my first job (well second role but same workplace) and normally I'd ask my parents things like this, but I can't for obvious reasons.
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    This post is kinda is in wrong topic but still relevant to this thread.....

    So I phoned the nurse earlier on today, and when I was talking about my work worries..... She was just like they are irrational and to do something to distract myself. But even if I distract myself for now, the worry is still going exist right up until I go to work. I'm talking about the worrying fr my actual duties. She said I could phone her tomorrow if I need to.

    Thing is its a crisis number I've to phone in order to speak to her. But she did say I can phone even if it's not like a super emergency. But I feel guilty for that reason but I got myself into such a tizzy that I phoned. She said it was okay to phone her and I can phone tomorrow if I want. I don't know if it's just an exception as they aren't sending anyone to visit me at home (they said they normally would but cause it would make me more distressed due to fear of parents knowing). I'm not sure to be honest?

    It's a specific person I've to ask for (or they can phone me back if busy). As I got introduced to this CPN yesterday (in person) and they shared my notes (so she already knows my situation).

    It's either her or the assessor nurse (who covers the times that nurse isn't on) I can phone. They said I can phone my therapist instead but that's not an option at the moment as she has just went on holiday (this would be just a normal number).
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Feeling a big weight off my shoulders.... My manager told me to postpone the event (due to being behind as I was off two days). Then she told the other staff they need to help me with my role more.

    Just working my notice now!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good to see you managed to muster the courage to speak with the manager. Regarding the event, is there any way you can recruit volunteers? Most events use them, even big commercial ones due to the workload involved. See if this is a possibility, can make things much easier.
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Thanks Jammin!

    I've recently left this role at my work, so the event is no longer my responsibility. It's not a big commercial event, sorry if I made it come across that way..... It's just a lot for one person to handle. In the end the event was postponed until after I changed my contract.

    In fact my work are considering recruiting volunteers, but that's mostly due to the nature of the work that I do!

    Thank you so much for your response.
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