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Scared of the Future

apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
Not really sure where to post this.......

I'm just really scared for the future and I keep having these thoughts that my life will end up a disaster.

It's just dawned on me, how much my life will change in the next few months. I start university middle of September, leaving my full time post at work after next week. I'm still going to live with my parents whilst at university.

But I've been contemplating, what is the point in university? I've spent so much time wanting to do well in school, now that I finished school last year, I'm starting to think what was the point behind it all. I feel like I've lost myself, I really don't know what I want from life. I'm not sure what my job will be after uni, I'm worried that I'll die a lonely old lady. I'm worried about meeting people throughout life, as I'm a bit shy. I mean when I get to know people I become so much more relaxed and start to be more open, but I still struggle in big groups. I feel like nobody hears me in big groups, I feel I can't keep up with the conversation, I end up just sitting day dreaming, feeling lonely in a big group. This worries me, how will I cope in the future.

I'm not that bothered about relationships at the moment. I've never been in one but i don't want to be alone forever, I just have visions of dying alone. Being alone, when my parents are gone, having no friends etc. So I guess in some way I want to be in a relationship when I'm older, to prevent this. But to be honest I can't imagine myself ever being in a relationship. In fact I don't even know if it's that I want or I just want to have people around me in general (even just friends) in life.

I feel like I've came to the realisation, I don't know what I want from life. Sometimes I think what's the point!

Sometimes it's just a worry but recently I feel like I'm starting to believe my life will end up a disaster! This brings me down and I start to think what's the point in being here.

Don't really know why I'm posting this, guess I just don't know where else to go!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey apandav :wave:

    It sounds like you have quite a few things you are worrying over. It can sometimes be the case with anxious feelings and thoughts - that everything sort of snowballs, and everything in your life gets sucked into a cycle of worry. :( Our minds can play this weird game of attaching strings of thought with one another. One thought leads to another and then to somewhere else and then to another place entirely.

    It can get quite stressful being caught up in so much worry, about so many aspects of your life. I think everyone can feel at times that they don't know where there life is going, if they are making the right choices, what it is they really want.

    Being scared of what will happen in the future is very frightening because it can be so unpredictable - we don't know what will happen to us - and this can be a great source of anxiety, if we let it. We can sometimes get anxious and nervous about the little things in life.

    If you can, try and focus on the here and now - worrying about what will be, will mean you miss out on what is going to happen today :yes:

    If you want to, have a look at tiny buddha's article - it talks about turning fear and anxiety in positive actions/ideas. You might find it helps you out.

    Hope this helps you out a little :) x

  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Thanks x

    After reading your post and the article it's reminded me that I need to think for logically about why am I worrying. It's easier said than done, just because right now I'm thinking that way, doesn't mean I will next time I'm anxious. Wish it was easier :)
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    In fact I just realised that in my post there, I was thinking about the future.

    "Focus on the here and now Amanda!" Need to tell myself :)
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    I'm scared :(
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