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What little things can a boyfriend/girlfriend do for you to make you happy?

Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
in Sex & Relationships
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It's easy to think of grand, romantic, Hollywood-style gestures as the best way for a boyfriend/girlfriend to show their love for you. Who wouldn't want a to be whisked away to a paradise island, bought a Michelin starred meal, or a brand new car?

But these grand gestures, if they happen at all, aren't what bring us together in our everyday lives. The little, everyday things can cheer us up when we feel down, make dull day a nice one, and make us happier when we're already happy.

What little things have partners (past or present) done for you that really mean a lot? What have you done for other people?

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This discussion is part of a campaign called Love Nuggets which is working across several organisations to look at the little things we can do in our relationships to make our own and our partner's lives happier. We would like to publish parts of these discussions on the new website (all contributions will be anonymous). If you don't want your contributions shared anonymously beyond TheSite.org, please let us know.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Done last nights washing up while I was in the shower. Given that they hadn't been around to generate the washing up the night before, and the state of the house was getting to me.
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    he's not my boyfriend but were seeing each other... he surprised me by picking out my favorite horrors and got lots of munchies for a movie night together :)
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've never had a partner (#ForeverAlone) but I could tell you what I feel would really mean a lot? That person spending time with me and finding time for me even if they are busy. Them not being bothered about not going out on a weekend clubbing and being happy staying in with me and watching movies. Not being jealous when I talk to other guy friends (equally I wouldn't be jealous if he spoke to other girls). For him to accept that bad things have happened in my life and not to judge me on that or the decisions I have made because of it
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My ex used to make me lots of mix tapes for various moods and events which was very lovely.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My ex would write me poems and frame them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Again I can't say what a guy has really done for me cuz I've not had that before but when I talk to my guy friends I suppose its a bit like that to making sure I'm ok and being there for me when I need someone to talk to. Thats what I find attractive about a guy. I can't not say and love a guy to buy me flower or chocolates as I like that but a guy with money don't really attract me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Letters, notes, messages - anything expressing appreciation and/or gratitude! I'm a sucker for those!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just making the effort to let you know they've been thinking about you. A little gift, a note, making something nice for you - it really is the thought and taking the time to do it. :) Or something to take a bit of weight off your shoulders, maybe doing a bit of tidying or something or running an errand. Nice surprises like breakfast in bed are always nice too!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's very true Mike. The u expected gestures u wouldn't they would do for u which counts the most. It's the little things people keep in mind with the thoughtful surprise two. There's nothing better then letting them knowing that u care about them and u love them to do anything for them. The thought is what counts.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just stroking my hair and holding me when I'm upset. Cooking for me and catching me as I walk past him with a kiss are really lovely too.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats lovely ideas Miss Riot! Does Mr Riot do these things for u? ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yep, amongst other things. He bought me beautiful blue orchids after I was in hospital recently too. He's a good 'un
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I like it when girls acknowledge my existence. Other than that. When they are open, calm and neutral when they confront me with a problem they are having, either with me or in general. The results of some study showed the earlier the woman calms down after a discussion or fight the longer lasting the rlship.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I partly agree with what ur saying StrubbleS but why do u think women would last longer in a relationship if they are calm afterwards and say sorry? I don't think there true cuz what if they weren't even in the wrong. I think it depends on the argument. I don't think the relationship will last longer if they did apologise. I do agree though that it's in good in a partner that they can come and talk to u about anything as it shows they trust u and think u will be a good support. Its those little things what make the relationship last longer and that is trust.
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    Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    The results of some study showed the earlier the woman calms down after a discussion or fight the longer lasting the rlship.

    That's interesting, did the study have anything to say about men in the same situation?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I still don't think it would make any difference. That's what the statistics say but it may just be a surgery In the most popular county in England who generally calm down after an argument us women. I don't know if this happens everywhere and I'm sure if two people had an argument in a relationship then they wouldn't just call it a day like they. It is interesting subject. Yh what about men?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    http://newscenter.berkeley.edu/2013/11/04/marriage-peacekeepers/
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Looked at the link u sent. Interesting.
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    Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    http://newscenter.berkeley.edu/2013/11/04/marriage-peacekeepers/

    Thanks StrubbleS. Hmm, if this holds it does seem to remove responsibility from men - we can do whatever we want!

    A couple of thoughts:

    a) because these were middle-aged and older couples, they grew up with a different set of gender expectations. I wonder if we'd find the same with younger generations?

    b) "When wives discuss problems and suggest solutions, it helps couples deal with conflicts" said UC Berkeley psychologist Robert Levenson, senior author of the study. "Ironically, this may not work so well for husbands, who wives often criticize for leaping into problem-solving mode too quickly."

    This suggests that arguments are solved quicker when both spouses are speaking in the same "mode". It also suggest an alternative: maybe arguments would go better if men were more comfortable in and switched sooner to a more typically female "emotional mode"?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Danny! wrote: »
    Thanks StrubbleS. Hmm, if this holds it does seem to remove responsibility from men - we can do whatever we want!

    I don't think this is what this study tries to suggest. The behavior of men in arguments was simply not scope of the study.

    Also, and this is just my opinion: I think a calm, problem-solving mode is preferable to "emotional" mode in conflict solution.
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    Annaarrr!!Annaarrr!! Posts: 876 Part of The Mix Family
    blowjobs for him chocolate for meee
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Annaarrr!! wrote: »
    blowjobs for him chocolate for meee

    are u seein sum1 bby? :flirt:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We're going to be launching a new competition around this idea of the small gestures next week so look out for it and keep you ideas coming....! for me it would be someone bringing me a cup of tea in bed in the morning - simples :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jo7 wrote: »
    for me it would be someone bringing me a cup of tea in bed in the morning - simples :)

    I made me and my girlfriend a little breakfast buffet type thing when we were last together. Was rather nice. :P
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aww that's sweet :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think just spending time with ur partner can mean alot to u. Even if u two live busy lives with work or being far away from each other can sometimes bring u closer to spend a bit of time with one another.

    Doesn't have to be anywhere fancy or up market but going to the park and watching the children play whilst both of u being together makes a change or going for a walk is also another way of reassuring those little moments together.

    Nice to meet up now and again if u both haven't seen each other for a while so any of those things are worth doing without having to spend to go to a nice place as the park is a nice place and going anywhere for a walk is a nice place. I think it partner would apappreciate more then spending money.

    Does that answer ur question sorry? Not too sure if that's a good answer to the question.
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    JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Jo7 wrote: »
    We're going to be launching a new competition around this idea of the small gestures next week so look out for it and keep you ideas coming....! for me it would be someone bringing me a cup of tea in bed in the morning - simples :)

    And here it is ;)

    Get your entries in for a chance to win a £30 Amazon voucher!
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