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My sister
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So my moving day is this saturday now. Excited and scared all at once!
Im feeling so guilty about my sister though. Ive asked her about it and she says its fine that im moving out but her boyfriend told me shes starting to feel weird about it. I feel like im abandoning her now
On the other hand, ive felt continually pushed out by her boyfriend who i dont get on with, and recently theyve been talking about moving in together which will probably mean her moving to his - about 2 hours away. This is making me resent their relationship and i wouldnt be able to be happy if they lived togethre.
I think i need to get out on my own and live my own life but i dont want her to move away with him and we'll never see each other. Our brother died nearly 8 years ago so i think thats made us so much closer but we're both at points of moving out and starting our own lives now.
Sounds weird i know but i feel like ive been replaced, and by somebody i cant stand quite frankly, mixed with guilt that im the one leaving
Im feeling so guilty about my sister though. Ive asked her about it and she says its fine that im moving out but her boyfriend told me shes starting to feel weird about it. I feel like im abandoning her now
On the other hand, ive felt continually pushed out by her boyfriend who i dont get on with, and recently theyve been talking about moving in together which will probably mean her moving to his - about 2 hours away. This is making me resent their relationship and i wouldnt be able to be happy if they lived togethre.
I think i need to get out on my own and live my own life but i dont want her to move away with him and we'll never see each other. Our brother died nearly 8 years ago so i think thats made us so much closer but we're both at points of moving out and starting our own lives now.
Sounds weird i know but i feel like ive been replaced, and by somebody i cant stand quite frankly, mixed with guilt that im the one leaving
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Comments
That also does not mean that you can't stay in touch.
From what you've said, it sounds like you're far more worried about it than your sister is. If you're concerned about about losing touch with your sister then maybe you moving out first isn't such a bad thing. That way you two can get into the habit of meeting up (not at your parents house) and doing stuff together in a more adult way and then the habit is set for when she moves out.
It does also sound from what you've written that your concern might be that by not being there you're not going to be able to fight her boyfriend for space in her life. Whether or not you like the guy, she obviously does, and it's her who's going out with him. To me, the bigger challenge to your relationship with your sister is probably going to be her boyfriend rather than you moving out. You say you wouldn't be able to be happy if they lived together, which is a pretty strong statement. Any reasons behind that?
It seems like you are in a tough place right now, you feel guilty, scared and excited. It must be really hard to juggle all those emotions at once. However, it seems like you have thought about how you would like your life to be, which includes moving. If your sister is fine, do you think that your sisters boyfriend may be expressing that she is feeling very similar emotions to you, excited and scared at the same time. I think that everyone feels comfortable with routine and so any change, however good is likely to seem odd to begin with. If your sisters boyfriend is not the sort of person you get along with, then moving may help to lessen the tensions between you. You may find that having less frequent contact may make the contact you do have more bearable. It may also be worth telling you sister how you feel, as you may be able to work out how to get quality time together despite the move creating greater distance between you.