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Dependence
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi guys.. I'm worried about how much my girlfriend relies on me, it's at a point where she literally cannot function without me around at times, her future plans have altered drastically by her just so she doesn't have to be away from me, she's given up on her dream. Problem is she has difficulty opening up to people and sometimes it's a little too much to handle. I can deal with it for the most part but if I have a down day it can just be too much and it can feel like it's my fault she's giving up. I just don't know what to do and I love her and hate to see her upset like this ~J~
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I give it to you straight, this kind of dependence is - at least in my opinion, but I think many people would agree - very unhealthy and not permanently sustainable in a relationship. I think that this absolute reliance on a person says a lot about self-esteem issues and other similar problems which need to be addressed and solved before you tackle the dependency problem.
It sounds like you guys are close and like you care about her a lot, but it can feel quite suffocating being the 'strong' one all the time in a relationship.
Are you able to tell us a bit more about your/her situation? It sounds like she may benefit from some counselling - is she having that, or has she considered it? Maybe gently encouraging her to give it a try may take a bit of the pressure off of you.
Our articles on what will happen when I start counselling and How can I open up to my counsellor may help her get her head around the idea.
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