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Dementia
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi,
My friends mother has been showing early signs of dementia for the past few months. Every once in awhile she'll wake up and not have any memory of who she is/who anyone is, where she lives etc. Then anything from 10 minutes to half an hour her memory will come back as if nothing happened. She's too proud to go ask for help, but it's really worrying. She thinks nothing is wrong.
Any ideas to get her to at least talk to somebody? I've thought about phoning Dementia UK and handing her the phone, she's not normally the type to hang up on somebody, so maybe she'd talk to them, but I'm not sure if they'll convince her enough to go see her doctor.
My friend (her daughter) is making a book with all our photos/names, addresses and lots more info in it, so she can read it if she's confused who we are, along with phone numbers of her doctor, helplines, hospitals and the like. It's a start that maybe she'll realise it's not right and might phone her doctor one day when she's confused. But we'll see...
My friends mother has been showing early signs of dementia for the past few months. Every once in awhile she'll wake up and not have any memory of who she is/who anyone is, where she lives etc. Then anything from 10 minutes to half an hour her memory will come back as if nothing happened. She's too proud to go ask for help, but it's really worrying. She thinks nothing is wrong.
Any ideas to get her to at least talk to somebody? I've thought about phoning Dementia UK and handing her the phone, she's not normally the type to hang up on somebody, so maybe she'd talk to them, but I'm not sure if they'll convince her enough to go see her doctor.
My friend (her daughter) is making a book with all our photos/names, addresses and lots more info in it, so she can read it if she's confused who we are, along with phone numbers of her doctor, helplines, hospitals and the like. It's a start that maybe she'll realise it's not right and might phone her doctor one day when she's confused. But we'll see...
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Comments
I agree, because even if you did get her to a doctor and they confirmed that it is dementia there's not much they can do about it, so if she's coping ok and she's safe then you should probably leave her be. if she feels pressured to speak to someone then she might just get agitated. I'd leave things as they are, but if something happens that really worries you or if she gets very upset then call the doctor or an ambulance.
That's what I was thinking. I'm not getting too involved, but she's known me for as long as I can remember, she's like another mother so it's worrying seeing her like this. I guess we'll just have to keep an eye on her for the next few months.
I really feel for you Java, it's a heartbreaking disease. I'm wondering if there's any way you could print out some info for her on early onset dementia that she could read in her own time if she wanted to? That way, you're giving her an opportunity to consider the impact and whether she might want to get some further advice, without actually demanding she talk to someone? It's often the case people need to do this in their own time in their own way.
I hear what people are saying with regards to: "There's not much they can do about it" and this is true to an extent, but having experienced this first hand and spoken to people about it in depth, I think there are things that both families and sufferers can do with the help of doctors to improve everyone's quality of life. I'm not saying it's by any means easy or there's anything dramatic or drastic they can do, but there are options to consider.
How would you feel about going with your friend to speak to someone on her behalf in the first instance?
I work with quite a few people who suffer from dementia atm and used to work somewhere that specialised in mh in the elderly which was often dementia as im sure you can imagine. I've seen a lot of different things used in both places tbh, but people with dementia tend to remember the past a lot better than present and i remember someone who had a family picture book with names underneath, but the pictures were one from the past and a more recent one next to it.
I think it is difficult to admit it when you feel the signs of dementia and in the end its their decision - i think sometimes getting a confirmed diagnosis for some people in fact speeds it up as they start to let themselves get worse (which follows lines of disengagement theory).
But tbh if she's coping okay and happy as she is then its the right thing for her and if and when she needs someone she'll ask
They are still the person they once were - although a lot of people don't always remember that and just be there for her