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Help when feeling depressed and isolated.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
I live with my family, I'm completely alienated by my alcoholic mother, bully brother, and father who ignores me.

I want friends and a proper job.
I'm temping currently and could be unemployed by the end of march. I can't handle evenings and weekends all alone in my room so who knows how I'll handle that.

I have volunteered for years until getting my current job, I do karate, and have tried online dating, the gym and classes. I still haven't got any friends or a partnr to keep me company.

As I am facing unemployment I can't afford to move and I don't want to work or volunteer abroad.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Tom
    I'm really sorry to hear about your family situation, it sounds like you could do with someone to talk to.
    As this is the 'introduce yourself' forum, you might find it better to post some more detailed questions in a thread in one of the other forums. I noticed that you already started one a while back about making friends and got some good advice - perhaps you could post again in the relationships forum about your family?
    We also run regular chat sessions - some are general chats to have a talk and some are support chats - you can find details about when they are on here:
    http://vbulletin.thesite.org/forumdisplay.php/144-Announcements

    Spanner :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry to hear how bad you are finding things at the moment. It sounds like you are doing the right things, they just haven't had the desired effect yet.

    Do you consider yourself shy and struggle to speak to people because of that, or is it a case of just meeting the wrong people, who you don't really share any common interests with? If you persevere it will happen eventually, you just have to put yourself out there. If shyness is the issue have you considered trying any courses in assertiveness, or possibly counselling, to try and help you come out of yourself? It is worth speaking to your GP if you are really struggling, as a course of counselling could really help you deal with all of the issues you have going on, and provide a good outlet, as well as help you develop more confidence and self worth.

    Have you looked into evening activities in your area? Book clubs and so on, which could initiate proper discussions with other people attending and mean you could suggest following it up with going out for a drink one evening?

    With the unemployment issue, the positive thing is that you have had recent experience. Have you talked to your current employers to enquire about any upcoming vacancies you could put your application in for? It is worth looking in places that a lot of students would work, such as bars, fast food chains and so on as well, as they tend to have a fairly high turn over of staff and many would keep your application for a few months if anything does arise? Do you own a car? I know places like Domino's/Pizza Hut are always looking for delivery drivers. Hopefully you will find something soon that will give you a bit more security and stability.

    Everyone has bad phases, hopefully yours won't last much longer, but at the time it can seem an ending struggle. Have you tried thinking about your ultimate goals in life and making a list of steps you could take to achieve them, to make sure you are heading on the right track? Any small thing you can do right now is a step in the right direction, and eventually will help you end up in a place you can feel happy.

    Good luck with everything!
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 Fanatical Poster
    Hi Tom, I'm sure you'll make lots of new friends on thesite. You'll always find someone here who is ready to listen and support you.
    Welcome to the site. xx :wave:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Feel free to PM me any time you want to chat I am friendly and find myself in your position a lot too with regards to not having many people to talk to :-)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank-you to everyone who has responded. I posted in introduce yourself instead of relationships by mistake so I was lucky you all had a go anyway.

    I will consider the chat sessions for the future, I already come to thesite supported chat from time to time. I see a Psychotherapist I picked out myself. I have seen GP's and counsellors and had a many negative experiences.

    I tried a book club once but didn't feel motivated to read the books, and that's all they were interested in.

    I'm not shy, I'm not meeting the right people.

    My bad phase has lasted 8 years and no end is in sight. In a therapy session this week I said I was all out of ideas and was told the answer would come from within when I was ready, I was pretty annoyed with that.

    Shyboy I'd be happy to speak to you but not about lonliness, I think 2 people both getting upset will only make one another feel worse.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tom82 wrote: »
    Thank-you to everyone who has responded. I posted in introduce yourself instead of relationships by mistake so I was lucky you all had a go anyway.

    No probs Tom, I'll move it for ya...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi

    Hi Tom i understand where you are coming from. I've faced abuse and have known what's it's like to be neglected. If you want to talk i'm always here i think we can be good friends.:blush:
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