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Desperate for a baby
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Wasn't sure if I should put this in here or sex & relationships... but thought it'd fit better here. Please move it if needed.
Basically... I am desperate for a baby. And before anyone says "you're too young/unstable/on drugs" I know that. Which is why I have the implant. But having the implant doesn't stop me wanting a child, just stops me having one.
I've wanted a baby for as long as I can remember... all I've ever wanted to do was be a mum. Now, one of my best friends is 15 weeks pregnant and another friend had a baby in October. I'm so jealous, I look at their bump and baby photos and cry. It's physically hurting me that I don't have what they have.
There's been a couple of occasions where I think I've had a chemical pregnancy, and it just destroyed me. I know having a child is insanely hard work, but it doesn't put me off at all. I've bought baby grows and socks, and even a blanket... just so I can pretend for a few minutes that I'm having a baby while I talk to the shop assistant. I even stand in the mirror and puff my stomach out
It's not normal to want a baby this much. It's getting in the way of my every day life. Even going to the shops, and seeing someone with a baby makes me feel so jealous and upset. I don't know how to get over this, it sounds pathetic when I read it all back, but I just long for a baby so much... I don't know what to do
Basically... I am desperate for a baby. And before anyone says "you're too young/unstable/on drugs" I know that. Which is why I have the implant. But having the implant doesn't stop me wanting a child, just stops me having one.
I've wanted a baby for as long as I can remember... all I've ever wanted to do was be a mum. Now, one of my best friends is 15 weeks pregnant and another friend had a baby in October. I'm so jealous, I look at their bump and baby photos and cry. It's physically hurting me that I don't have what they have.
There's been a couple of occasions where I think I've had a chemical pregnancy, and it just destroyed me. I know having a child is insanely hard work, but it doesn't put me off at all. I've bought baby grows and socks, and even a blanket... just so I can pretend for a few minutes that I'm having a baby while I talk to the shop assistant. I even stand in the mirror and puff my stomach out
It's not normal to want a baby this much. It's getting in the way of my every day life. Even going to the shops, and seeing someone with a baby makes me feel so jealous and upset. I don't know how to get over this, it sounds pathetic when I read it all back, but I just long for a baby so much... I don't know what to do
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Comments
I got past it. it went away quite a lot when I got a pet to care for and focus on. Sometimes you just need something to love that needs you. Its also a major hormone surge. Its pretty much the strongest biological instinct, to reproduce.
Its probably wise to try and see if it passes before you make any major decisions, but you certainly arent abnormal for feeling this. I think youre sensible that you do have contraception for now though, as it is such a major life altering thing that it is very hard to be prepared for, even when you feel ready
Thanks for your reply Suzy, it's really reassuring to know it isn't just me. I've spoken to my girl friends about it, and although they all say they wouldn't mind a baby none of them are as obsessed with it as me. The two girls I know with babies the pregnancy's weren't planned.
I've been like this for years.. I think I just started puberty so long ago (had my periods aged 9) it kinda feels like I should be having a baby now... where as girls who started later probably wouldn't feel this strongly about it for another few years I guess.
I've got 5 pets, youngest is a 10 month old jackachoo puppy... it is nice having him to love and look after but it just doesn't fill the void!
I do feel for you. Its a really intense thing to go through. Hormones are mental things. Theyre the bane of my life.
Im not going to advise you what to do as theres no point.
Have you thought about doing some voluntary work with children?
I'm just going to have to try and live with this I guess until I'm in a position where I could comfortably bring up a child!
Saying that, that might not be any different no matter how old you are, but I really think by reading your posts you will actually make a fantastic mother one day. I hope for YOUR sake, its not too soon. Not for the babys sake, because I dont think the baby would suffer at all because youre an intelligent girl, and emotionally intelligent too, but for yours, because its really hard, and id really like you to get yourself sorted first before you start lumbering yourself with such a huge responsibility that will make your life a hundred times more complicated.
With the implant it isn't easy for me to just stop using it, like it would be the pill. I know with the pill I'd just be tempted to stop taking it, but to get the implant out I have to go to the clinic to discuss it, and then book an appointment to have it removed! Not as simple as neglecting to take the pill. I feel like I'm doing quite well being sensible with it all, but it still doesn't stop me wishing the next few years would hurry up!
As I said, I feel for you. Youre welcome to come and watch my kids for a while if you need putting off the idea a bit more
Haha! Animals can be just as difficult to look after as children sometimes in my experience... especially when they decided to run into the road every time you open the front door!
And, Suzy, thank you so much for all your replies I feel a lot more calm about it all now, and not like I'm going totally insane!
Big hugs girly
I guess there's no way out of this broodiness really... just going to have to sit it out. Maybe I'll get myself one of those baby dolls they give out in college that cry constantly to put me off
Thanks Clem that really means a lot.
Ha! Me and Mr riot went out for lunch for the first time since we got the kitten and we said it was a bit like we'd left the kids at home. She's enough to make me want to leave it a bit longer!
SCC is my hero today. Basically everything she said, but particularly this.
Having babies young is not necessarily a bad idea for the baby - all babies really want is to be warm and fed and loved, and I don't doubt that many young teenagers could do that for them. Having babies young is a bad idea for you. Being a teenager, and even a twentysomething, should be about finding out who you are, having fun, doing stupid (reversible) things - generally being free.
You are not just having a baby, you are having a testing toddler, a needy school-age child, a hormonal teenager and then an adult who is with you for life. That's a huge, huge commitment. Your life, your body, your mind - none of it will ever be the same again. Make sure you have lived enough of your life before you start someone else's!
I guess there's not going to be any easy fix to this broodiness! Maybe I'll just have to buy my dog another outfit...
Personally I'd suggest cats as a baby substitute, they ignore what you say and never acknowledge having done something wrong.