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Lost my will to live after missing office Christmas party

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
It happened on the 17th dec. I wanted so much to go to the party that I been looking forward to since September. Problem is, my family wanted to vacation 4 hours away that day and made me to with them. I tried to protest, but they shot me down, so I went, pretending to enjoy it. On our way there, I got called in to work and I had to say no, since I was already 3 hours away. I woulda loved to be able to say yes and then go in to work, giving me direct access to the party. Instead, since then, I spent all my waking moments in misery, even after getting back home.

I lost my will to live. I sleep 18 hours a day and cut myself. I over eat and sometimes drink a lot. I get short with everyone I meet. And Thursday at work, I felt humiliated seeing my coworkers who been at the party, so I avoided everyone. I couldn't focus. Then during break, I overate again, threw up in the restroom, and felt severely dizzy afterwards. I left work early. Thx god nobody knew that I made myself sick or I'd be screwed! Still, I lost my will to live. Should I find another job?

Yesterday, I saw on a coworker's Facebook pictures of the party. My performance at work suffered yesterday as well. Also, I cried on the salesfloor for 15 minutes on top of looking sad most of the time.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello,
    Sounds like you really wanted to go to that party. Why was it so important to you that you went to it?
    It sounds like not going may be a trigger to why you are feeling so low now. As you missed the party, maybe you could ask people at work if they fancy going for drinks one night after work? I know it wouldn't be tye same as tye Christmas party but would it be better than nothing?
    Obviously I don't know your situation vut I wouldn't consider changing jobs jst because of this.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thats quite an extreme reaction to missing a party. See your doctor
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just too humiliated to face ppl is all it is.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why? What is it thats making you feel humiliated.

    What does it mean to you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why? What is it thats making you feel humiliated.

    What does it mean to you?

    It's a social humiliation not to go to parties u desperately wanna attend.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it isnt anything of the sort. You may FEEL humiliated, but thats not something that just happens when you miss a party. Ive missed loads of things i wanted to go to. Im not humiliated by it. Maybe annoyed. Disappointed. Even a bit gutted, but humiliated seems a very unusual and extreme reaction. It doesnt even make sense.

    What do you think people are going to be actually thinking of you??


    Most people wouldnt think anything of it if someone couldnt come to a party except maybe "what a shame".
    If you then came back to work and were crying and moping, and making everyone feel awkward, then thats really unprofessional and you need to get a grip
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just want to say, that people don't care if you don't go to a party, special work parties. No one really give a fook about them (well from where i'm from anyway) work parties are normally casual.

    But not going to a party, shouldn't be humiliating. Annoying yes, but humiliating is extreme.
    The only way i'd feel humiliated is if i wasn't invited, but everyone at work was... That'd be different!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey kissmekate,

    There seems to be a lot going on in your head right now and I wonder if you're using the drinking and over-eating as a way of coping in the short term but it then leaves you feeling worse?

    As suzy said, it really does sound like you could benefit from talking to you doctor as a first step if you've not done that before.You could start by letting them know about how low you have been feeling and that it's affecting your work.

    Being able to turn down an invitation is part of everyday life and something we all have to do sometimes. If you feel that your colleagues are thinking badly of you then I wonder has there been anything at work that's happened in the past to make you feel that way? Have your moods been up and down for some time?

    Keep writing about things if it's helping and let us know how you're getting on. Hopefully you've got a bit of a break from work over Christmas to rest and get some space from it all.

    *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just wish i could have sympathy from ppl. All I got was bitched at. My supervisor said if i want my job, I better smile.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kissmekate wrote: »
    Just wish i could have sympathy from ppl. All I got was bitched at. My supervisor said if i want my job, I better smile.

    well yeah. I think its a shame you didnt go, as it obviously was important to you, but youre gonna have to get over it. Acting pouty and tantrummy over missing a party is not going to win you any friends or help you get a good reference.
    Im really hoping this is about something more than missing a party. Youre more likely to be humiliating yourself over the way you handle the disappointment now, rather than the fact you missed the party.

    Have you ever been to a xmas party before? I wonder if you built it up in your head to being something more than it actually is.
    Surely there are other nights out you could go to? There will be many more xmas parties. It comes every single year you know?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I been looking forward to this work party since September. And now bc I didn't go, I started dying inside and my supervisor won't schedule me anymore. Last week at work, she told me if I want my job, I need to smile, so I frowned harder. The following day, having cried on the salesfloor, I finally got sympathy from 2 ppl. Now I wish I could have some from my supervisor lol!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your supervisor probably thinks youre an idiot tbh. You missed a party. You havent just been bereaved. Honestly. Get a grip. This is not how adults behave. You have probably now lost your job over this.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmm from experience your unlikely to get tones from your supervisor they care bout the job being done not your person life. But if you really feel that way bout a party do you think there could be something else wrong that ur feeling bad about and this has just brought it out?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    have you ever had to deal with disappointment before?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your supervisor probably thinks youre an idiot tbh. You missed a party. You havent just been bereaved. Honestly. Get a grip. This is not how adults behave. You have probably now lost your job over this.

    It's possible I lost my job? My supervisor knows I performed poorly, but she don't know it's bc I missed the party. Hadn't had the chance to tell her lol.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your supervisor probably thinks youre an idiot tbh. You missed a party. You havent just been bereaved. Honestly. Get a grip. This is not how adults behave. You have probably now lost your job over this.

    It's possible I lost my job? My supervisor knows I performed poorly, but she don't know it's bc I missed the party. Hadn't had the chance to tell her lol.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kissmekate wrote: »
    It's possible I lost my job?

    Don't second-guess your employer. But if this is having such an effect on you that your work is suffering, I would echo others' recommendations that you go and have a chat with your GP.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I echo what others have said, if the missing of the party has effected you this much then you should really see your GP. Losing your job would likely be down to your work ethic and attitude at work, not for missing a party.


    Sent from my whyayePad using Tapatalk
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Saw my counselor this week. He said my coworkers prolly have reported me bc it's a safety issue. Hopefully I get to go back though. Just wait and see.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Surely there must be something more to this than just missing a party...? It is very extreme to react this way after something quite minor...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It was just the party that made me crazy. I even told 3 ppl at work I cut myself and showed them the cuts on my arm. Could I have been reported?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would of thought they might tell someone as they'd be worried for your safety
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well that sucks. I already told her 3 times not to tell, although she didn't make any promises. Damn.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you work in a different type of work to me, but if anyone i worked with told me that i probably would tell a manager and pretty quickly for loads of reasons. Cos they might feel uncomfortable with it and worried for your safety..
    It would be a good idea to go see your gp :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm on the schedule as of now. I work Sunday. Hopefully...I don't screw that up.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kissmekate wrote: »
    It was just the party that made me crazy. I even told 3 ppl at work I cut myself and showed them the cuts on my arm. Could I have been reported?

    It's obviously not just the party. There's clearly something deeper even if you can't see it and you need to see a professional about this. This is a very extreme reaction, as everyone has said, unless there are other underlying issues.

    Why did you tell them about the harming? What kind of relationship do you have with them? I've never told any of my colleagues about my self harm, aside from managers and only because the infection was making me ill. If you weren't close with them I'd find it very odd to be told that and it wouldn't surprise me if they told a senior colleague.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thats quite na hardcore thing to do to show someone your cuts. They might not know anything about SH and been totally freaked out. Were you especially close to that person??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'll just say I have friends at work.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What suzy said bout showing people your cuts. I had someone show me theirs and it freaked me out a bit.. and i was really close to them and have myself but it was just a bit like woah.. dunno what to say to this.
    Maybe if you feel you need to talk to someone about it counselling or seeing gp can be really helpful :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Slow as fuck. No wonder. It's retail and it's January. I got back to work, but when will we get more hours?
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