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Lost my will to live after missing office Christmas party
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
It happened on the 17th dec. I wanted so much to go to the party that I been looking forward to since September. Problem is, my family wanted to vacation 4 hours away that day and made me to with them. I tried to protest, but they shot me down, so I went, pretending to enjoy it. On our way there, I got called in to work and I had to say no, since I was already 3 hours away. I woulda loved to be able to say yes and then go in to work, giving me direct access to the party. Instead, since then, I spent all my waking moments in misery, even after getting back home.
I lost my will to live. I sleep 18 hours a day and cut myself. I over eat and sometimes drink a lot. I get short with everyone I meet. And Thursday at work, I felt humiliated seeing my coworkers who been at the party, so I avoided everyone. I couldn't focus. Then during break, I overate again, threw up in the restroom, and felt severely dizzy afterwards. I left work early. Thx god nobody knew that I made myself sick or I'd be screwed! Still, I lost my will to live. Should I find another job?
Yesterday, I saw on a coworker's Facebook pictures of the party. My performance at work suffered yesterday as well. Also, I cried on the salesfloor for 15 minutes on top of looking sad most of the time.
I lost my will to live. I sleep 18 hours a day and cut myself. I over eat and sometimes drink a lot. I get short with everyone I meet. And Thursday at work, I felt humiliated seeing my coworkers who been at the party, so I avoided everyone. I couldn't focus. Then during break, I overate again, threw up in the restroom, and felt severely dizzy afterwards. I left work early. Thx god nobody knew that I made myself sick or I'd be screwed! Still, I lost my will to live. Should I find another job?
Yesterday, I saw on a coworker's Facebook pictures of the party. My performance at work suffered yesterday as well. Also, I cried on the salesfloor for 15 minutes on top of looking sad most of the time.
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Comments
Sounds like you really wanted to go to that party. Why was it so important to you that you went to it?
It sounds like not going may be a trigger to why you are feeling so low now. As you missed the party, maybe you could ask people at work if they fancy going for drinks one night after work? I know it wouldn't be tye same as tye Christmas party but would it be better than nothing?
Obviously I don't know your situation vut I wouldn't consider changing jobs jst because of this.
What does it mean to you?
It's a social humiliation not to go to parties u desperately wanna attend.
What do you think people are going to be actually thinking of you??
Most people wouldnt think anything of it if someone couldnt come to a party except maybe "what a shame".
If you then came back to work and were crying and moping, and making everyone feel awkward, then thats really unprofessional and you need to get a grip
But not going to a party, shouldn't be humiliating. Annoying yes, but humiliating is extreme.
The only way i'd feel humiliated is if i wasn't invited, but everyone at work was... That'd be different!
There seems to be a lot going on in your head right now and I wonder if you're using the drinking and over-eating as a way of coping in the short term but it then leaves you feeling worse?
As suzy said, it really does sound like you could benefit from talking to you doctor as a first step if you've not done that before.You could start by letting them know about how low you have been feeling and that it's affecting your work.
Being able to turn down an invitation is part of everyday life and something we all have to do sometimes. If you feel that your colleagues are thinking badly of you then I wonder has there been anything at work that's happened in the past to make you feel that way? Have your moods been up and down for some time?
Keep writing about things if it's helping and let us know how you're getting on. Hopefully you've got a bit of a break from work over Christmas to rest and get some space from it all.
*hug*
well yeah. I think its a shame you didnt go, as it obviously was important to you, but youre gonna have to get over it. Acting pouty and tantrummy over missing a party is not going to win you any friends or help you get a good reference.
Im really hoping this is about something more than missing a party. Youre more likely to be humiliating yourself over the way you handle the disappointment now, rather than the fact you missed the party.
Have you ever been to a xmas party before? I wonder if you built it up in your head to being something more than it actually is.
Surely there are other nights out you could go to? There will be many more xmas parties. It comes every single year you know?
It's possible I lost my job? My supervisor knows I performed poorly, but she don't know it's bc I missed the party. Hadn't had the chance to tell her lol.
It's possible I lost my job? My supervisor knows I performed poorly, but she don't know it's bc I missed the party. Hadn't had the chance to tell her lol.
Don't second-guess your employer. But if this is having such an effect on you that your work is suffering, I would echo others' recommendations that you go and have a chat with your GP.
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It would be a good idea to go see your gp
It's obviously not just the party. There's clearly something deeper even if you can't see it and you need to see a professional about this. This is a very extreme reaction, as everyone has said, unless there are other underlying issues.
Why did you tell them about the harming? What kind of relationship do you have with them? I've never told any of my colleagues about my self harm, aside from managers and only because the infection was making me ill. If you weren't close with them I'd find it very odd to be told that and it wouldn't surprise me if they told a senior colleague.
Maybe if you feel you need to talk to someone about it counselling or seeing gp can be really helpful