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Stalking

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've realised that over the years I have stalked quite a few people in one way or another, and recently it has got me hospitalised (not the only reason why i was put in hospital). But yeah, I am just wondering if anyone has any advice for helping me to stop that type of behaviour...? It's been finding out people's emails and networks on the internet, to being at someone's house at night a good few times and having a little look around. I've never hurt anyone, but I know that if I keep doing it- I think I get a high from doing it- I will end up in the courts with a possible criminal record. Anyway, any help would be appreciated. thanks.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok. perhaps it might help if you will understand why your behavior is indeed hurting.

    someone stalked me few years ago.
    it made me move to a new city and afraid to leave house.
    i used to love being outside 24/7 run/walk's/ park/ and many more. i love the outside.
    since that disturbed individual stalked me, I've became over aware of my every action and move.
    and been in mental stress for years. now a days, I spend 99% of my time closed in my own house, a prisoner in my own house.
    and every time I leave the house, I still, constantly--feel like I am being watch.
    it feels horrible and gives me constant panic attacks.
    I am almost certain I am not stalked anymore, but after realized how sick some people are, I now live in constant fear.
    basically I am damaged for life.

    I hope you are happy about this. and keep destroying other people's life, instead of focusing on actual building one for yourself.
  • LauraOLauraO ********* Posts: 535 The answer to life, the universe, and everything
    Hi Nutter,

    As you have identified yourself, stalking is a criminal offence and can get you in trouble with the police. But it's a positive step that you recognise what you are doing, and the severity of these actions.

    As Kittyhugs has shown, stalking can have serious affects on the person being stalked. I wonder whether you have thought about how the people you have stalked felt or would feel if they knew what you were doing? How do you think you would feel if it was happening to you?

    You mentioned that you have been admitted to hospital because of this, along with other reasons. Did you get the opportunity to talk to a counselor or anyone during this time about what you have been doing?

    It's great that you have started to get help with this, and it's important that you continue to do so. We are here to help.

    LauraO
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what do you get out of it?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kittyhugs wrote: »

    I hope you are happy about this. and keep destroying other people's life, instead of focusing on actual building one for yourself.

    I'M NOT happy about it which is why i'm trying to get help. I haven't actually 'destroyed' anyones life, these things have been minor incidences which i doubt i will repeat because of the consequences. I'm only asking for help.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what do you get out of it?

    I don't know, at first I get a bit of a high, thinking, yes now I know where that person lives. But then I think, OK, so what?
    And yes, I've actually visited someone's house before but I think it was a desperate plea for help in all honesty. I never intend to make someone feel threatened but i guess i have done in past situations. Maybe they are right, maybe i am mentally ill.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kittyhugs wrote: »
    ok. perhaps it might help if you will understand why your behavior is indeed hurting.

    someone stalked me few years ago.
    it made me move to a new city and afraid to leave house.
    i used to love being outside 24/7 run/walk's/ park/ and many more. i love the outside.
    since that disturbed individual stalked me, I've became over aware of my every action and move.
    and been in mental stress for years. now a days, I spend 99% of my time closed in my own house, a prisoner in my own house.
    and every time I leave the house, I still, constantly--feel like I am being watch.
    it feels horrible and gives me constant panic attacks.
    I am almost certain I am not stalked anymore, but after realized how sick some people are, I now live in constant fear.
    basically I am damaged for life.

    I hope you are happy about this. and keep destroying other people's life, instead of focusing on actual building one for yourself.

    Wow, kittyhugs, that was a really brave thing to share. I just wanted to point out that Nutter is looking for advice on how to change, and is trying to build up her life again.

    Nutter, I don't have anything to add to what Laura said, really, but well done for talking about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    is there another way you can get a fix of a similar thing. Maybe its the excitement of discovering stuff youre not supposed to know, since you say its not in any way because you get pleasure out of making people feel threatened and unsafe.
    Maybe some sort of detectivey type work/ forensic science
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    is there another way you can get a fix of a similar thing. Maybe its the excitement of discovering stuff youre not supposed to know, since you say its not in any way because you get pleasure out of making people feel threatened and unsafe.
    Maybe some sort of detectivey type work/ forensic science

    hmm interesting idea. i had a temp job in research a few years ago and really enjoyed it, maybe a research based job would be something to work towards...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think it will be to do with building your own self esteem and making yourself busy. Realising that other peoples lives are no more interesting than your own, and also some self control and respecting other peoples right to privacy, even if it is easy and tempting for you to snoop.
    I definitely think something research based would be good for you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kittyhugs wrote: »
    I hope you are happy about this. and keep destroying other people's life, instead of focusing on actual building one for yourself.

    That is really horrible and rude. Nutter is asking for help, you need to respect that or you do not belong on a forum like this, where sensitive issues are talked about and advice is given.

    Nutter, it's really great you've acknowledged the problems with what you've done. Did the hospital offer any support? I think Suzy's idea about a research job is a great one, and definitely something to look into :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for sticking up for me Broken-Angel...

    ...had another discussion with someone from the community forensic team and he was basically telling me what could happen if i do anything like that again and it's not good...so i am restraining myself from doing these things and trying to focus on myself more even though I am still getting thoughts that they would see as psychotic. They said in my notes something about paranoid schizophrenia... well that's the first i've heard about it! But that's not conclusive, different psychiatrists have different opinions. meh. i just want to be left alone now and not 'treated' by mental health teams, along with other issues, i've just become very depressed about it all. I can't help it if pigeons relay messages to agents or watch with cameras. I'm coming off this diazepam and have some lorazepams for a little while. i can't tell them what i think or they'll think i'm nuts. They countryside pylons and computers distort their thinking and mess with the neurons in their heads to believe in the antichrist and his delusions. i've had some weed, i'm dancing to the music haha
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nutter, I think it's really important that you continue to get support from the mental health team. To me, it sounds like they aren't giving you enough support, and I think you would benefit from more.

    Do you have a psych nurse or doctor you could speak to? I know it's really difficult, but you need to start being more honest with them about the things you're feeling. They can and will help you, but you have to let them *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oops i think i said too much. >_<
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nutter wrote: »
    oops i think i said too much. >_<

    Not to us, don't worry. I agree with B-A that the professionals concerned with your care can help if you let them in.
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