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could she be pregnant?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
a few weeks ago i was seeing this girl, and i think she was trying to use me.. i think she was pregnant, just based off of her behavior, but i cant be sure. the signs i saw were: she would get sick, usually in the mornings, sometimes spewing; she was trying to quit smoking and cut back on drinking; sihe didnt like me touching her belly; and she didnt want to be on top during sex. Also, the first time we had sex, i asked if she had a comdom, and straight away she said "just dont finish in me". i had one and used it anyway. but very shortly before we got together i know she was sleeping with someone else (only recently found out). im wondering if he got her pregnant, and she was gonna try to say it's mine because i would be a better father. but her feelings grew very strong towards me, and i think she started feeling guilty for using me like that. she then broke up with me, and wont talk to me anymore. Is this a realistic possibility? or does it sound like i might be reaching for an explanation? I really liked her, and am really hurt that she ended it like this.. i thought everything was going great.. i hope im wrong about this, but there seems to be too much evidence stacked in that direction...

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why are you so bothered about that possibility?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    because if its true, it means ive been lied to and used by a woman i thought i loved and could trust. And she is spending alot of time now with the man who i think is the father... he already has a kid with someone else, and another girl who is 8 weeks along. he is around for neither of them. he is a dead beat dad. she was in a relationship with him years ago, and he was a miserable jerk to her. he hasnt changed since then, and i think she is only setting herself up to get hurt again. and even if she was using me like that, im still extremely concerned for her well-being with him. also, when we broke up, she told me she still loved me, just couldnt handle a relationship because she wasnt over the last one (6 monthes before, was pregnant and bashed by fiance.. lost a 4 month pregnancy and a 2 year relationship/ engagement). i wanted to be with her again, i saw a real future with her. but if im right about this, then there is no way i can continue the relationship with her. i would never be able to trust her. and it would take a long time for me to be able to trust anyone again... this isnt the first time ive been burned by someone, and its far from the worst.. but it would still damage me immensely
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How were you used? She hasn't pretended any child which he *might* be carrying is yours. You don't actually know anything in that regard do you, really?

    Basically, you had a short relationship and it's over now. Nothing else actually has anything to do with you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But it was a relationship you wanted, and so you're hurting. Making yourself angry at her might be how your brain is trying to cope.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it was not a short relationship.. we had been talking romantically for over 2 years, but never acted on it because she was engaged when i met her.. and i dont feel used at the moment, but i will feel it if i find out im right... it seems petty, i know. but i have been used and mistreated by people very close to me so many times already, the thought of someone else trying to use me, even if they dont follow through, cuts deep... maybe im just being paranoid because of my history?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Talking to a girl for two years romantically, despite her being engaged, you already then knew she wasnt 100% squeeky clean in the ethics department.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im aware, but i still thought i meant something to her.. it hurts to know that i dont, and that i mean so little, in fact, that she couldnt be fucked to tell me the truth about anything
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    ReenaReena Posts: 1,375 Wise Owl
    typerry92 wrote: »
    im aware, but i still thought i meant something to her.. it hurts to know that i dont, and that i mean so little, in fact, that she couldnt be fucked to tell me the truth about anything

    Romantic relationships are a risk. You put your heart on the line and there is always a chance it could get broken. But if you don't take that risk you may never find the happiness you deserve. Sometimes we have to take the chance and just hope for the best. xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, i know it's a risk. but knowing that doesnt make it hurt any less when it ends.. i figure if i dont mean that much to her after all, then there is no sense in dwelling on it. i have better things to do with my time then do this, and i have a bright future ahead of me. one day, i will find someone to share it all with, but for now im just gonna focus on me. thanks for the advice, everyone :D
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