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hormones making me feel crazy
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm pregnant so can potentially blame all of this on hormones.
I woke up last night and felt myself getting angrier and angrier. At my boyfriend, at my situation. Everything. So angry I couldn't even sleep and was contemplating waking him up just to tell him how pissed off I was.
I just want to run away, right now. Or talk to someone. I dunno. I can feel myself crying and then stupid irritating voices in my head saying 'stress isn't good for the baby'.
I do the same routine everyday. Usually washing up and cleaning the sides in the kitchen, laundry. But everything gets messed up again. So why bother.
I am getting increasingly angry at my boyfriend despite the fact that he is now working an extra job to support us financially and I am at home so I feel it's my place to do more. Which I would be happy to do but I am sick of cleaning up and having his friend, our housemate around. He moves out on the 15th so not long to go.
I get pissed off with my boyfriend's obsession with Warhammer and ordering Warhammer. An order arrived yesterday. I thought he was done ordering things because of our finances. But how do I legitimately complain when I am contributing zilch right now? He joked that Im not letting him have any hobbies. For the past few weeks I've been turning down invitations from friends who live pretty locally because I cant afford the train fare. And he speaks about not being able to have hobbies?
He's now working a full time job as well as Tuesday and Wednesday evenings and Saturdays 11am-6pm leaving him with not much time. We are moving out on Friday 16th. I packed all of our books yesterday but I'm limited with what I can do now. His brother is coming over the Sunday before we move to do Warhammer. Im failing to see how we are going to get everything done and the house all cleaned in time.
I am just fed up and am already imagining the resentment building up in him from having 2 jobs. My worth has been reduced to boring domestic shit. I have nothing exciting to contribute other than 'I'm a bit more pregnant today'.
But I am excited. I am painting him out to be horrible but I know that I'm incredibly lucky to have him. It's just hard when things/roles feel so unbalanced right now. Today he asked me what I was gonna do and I always feel the need to list chores to warrant my staying at home-ness. Today all I could manage to think of was 'Clean the toilet'.
I have a degree. I'm not thick. I want his housemate to piss off because he makes me even more irrate. But I only have two weeks left here and then we move.
I woke up last night and felt myself getting angrier and angrier. At my boyfriend, at my situation. Everything. So angry I couldn't even sleep and was contemplating waking him up just to tell him how pissed off I was.
I just want to run away, right now. Or talk to someone. I dunno. I can feel myself crying and then stupid irritating voices in my head saying 'stress isn't good for the baby'.
I do the same routine everyday. Usually washing up and cleaning the sides in the kitchen, laundry. But everything gets messed up again. So why bother.
I am getting increasingly angry at my boyfriend despite the fact that he is now working an extra job to support us financially and I am at home so I feel it's my place to do more. Which I would be happy to do but I am sick of cleaning up and having his friend, our housemate around. He moves out on the 15th so not long to go.
I get pissed off with my boyfriend's obsession with Warhammer and ordering Warhammer. An order arrived yesterday. I thought he was done ordering things because of our finances. But how do I legitimately complain when I am contributing zilch right now? He joked that Im not letting him have any hobbies. For the past few weeks I've been turning down invitations from friends who live pretty locally because I cant afford the train fare. And he speaks about not being able to have hobbies?
He's now working a full time job as well as Tuesday and Wednesday evenings and Saturdays 11am-6pm leaving him with not much time. We are moving out on Friday 16th. I packed all of our books yesterday but I'm limited with what I can do now. His brother is coming over the Sunday before we move to do Warhammer. Im failing to see how we are going to get everything done and the house all cleaned in time.
I am just fed up and am already imagining the resentment building up in him from having 2 jobs. My worth has been reduced to boring domestic shit. I have nothing exciting to contribute other than 'I'm a bit more pregnant today'.
But I am excited. I am painting him out to be horrible but I know that I'm incredibly lucky to have him. It's just hard when things/roles feel so unbalanced right now. Today he asked me what I was gonna do and I always feel the need to list chores to warrant my staying at home-ness. Today all I could manage to think of was 'Clean the toilet'.
I have a degree. I'm not thick. I want his housemate to piss off because he makes me even more irrate. But I only have two weeks left here and then we move.
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Comments
So thesite gets lumbered with a big Rachael vent of epic proportions again. Sorry
Having a baby massively changes both yourself as a person and your relationship with your other half. People have visions of being the perfect family because that is what they see on tv, but in reality I don't actually know anyone who is like that in real life, and tbh I am suspicious of people who claim that is what they have.
Objectively Mr Kaff is a good husband and a great father, but sometimes I actually want to rip his face off because he just does not understand how my life has changed, and I'm sure sometimes he feels that way about me too, cause his life has changed too in ways that I can't understand. I think the only way through it is to listen to each other, be honest, and respect each other's feelings even if you don't understand them.
Having a baby is great. But it is also HARD, and your life will never be the same again. There's nothing wrong with struggling with it now and again. It doesn't make you a bad parent. Just an honest one.
We do talk and we talked tonight and I'm grateful for that. I just felt so overwhelmed by things today- a lot of trivial things or temporary problems.
I think its normal, but its wise to try and keep a check on it. You ARE going through major physical, emotional, hormonal changes. Hes not going through it in the same way. It sounds like hes taking his responsibilities seriously though. It might be worth talking to your midwife about your feelings, or your mum, or calling in the support of your female friends at this time
We have spoken about money and he recognises that his gaming is gonna come to an abrupt end once baby is here. But he is also very much looking forward to his 2 week paternity leave and saving up holiday time from work for when the baby arrives.
SCC I'm 28 weeks next Thursday. I'm seeing my MW next Wednesday so will let her know about my scary night of overwhelming 'angry'. Im hoping it was a one off incident. She has a record that I've suffered from depression in the past tho and is pretty supportive.
i'm feeling a lot, lot better now.