Home Health & Wellbeing
At The Mix, we want to make our services as helpful as we can. To do this, we’d love to ask you a few questions about you, your visit to The Mix and its impact. It should take only about 5-10 minutes to complete. Take this survey and get a chance at winning a £200 Amazon voucher​.
Come and join our Support Circle, every Tuesday, 8 - 9:30pm! Sign up here

Numb *triggering*

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm exhausted, literally exhausted.

I went out last night and watched the possession with G. It was good, wasn't scary I laughed all the way through G was scared though.

I slept last night so that's something.

I'm trying to look at things positively but it's hard.

I'm so exhausted. It's hard, really hard.

I don't have much to say. I'm so exhausted that I literally can't think.

I haven't felt myself all day it's weird, I haven't felt how I normally do, but I don't feel happy either, I don't really feel anything, I think I'm numb.


I've longed to feel this way and now I do and I want to go back to feeling.

G has been doing my head in today, she has not stopped texting me about this weekend and if I can see her or not and I keep telling her I don't know, because it's dad's birthday I don't know what plans we have etc and I don't know if family are coming over or not and G just won't listen. She keeps asking me and I keep saying I don't know.

I don't think G gets t. She moaned at me because I didn't text back straight away. I can't text back straight away I've been looking after my dad, my sisters sat in her room doing as she pleases whilst I've hoovered, washed up, dried up, cooked dinner, shopped, bought dad beer, and emptyed the dishwasher and cooker her dinner. I can't do it all alone I need help, I really do. I'm struggling, work's getting to me. Everything is.

I haven't managed to fill out my referral form yet I should, I know I should and I will when I get a few spare minuets to myself.

I need a break. I need help. I need sleep. I need to feel something over than this. I think I'm numb ?

I just don't know what to do and my thigh is throbbing, think one of my cuts are infected, its all red round it and swollen and itchy, there's nothing coming out of it, should probably get it checked out but I feel to ashamed.

help.

Comments

  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    You should have your cut looked at. Don't worry, doctors can't say anything so even though its hard, try not to let shame stop you from going.
    Everyone needs help, we can't do everything alone. Your sister should help, its unfair on you.

    I found being numb sometimes was better than hurting myself. What have you tried to stop feeling numb?
    I would go walk the dogs. Watching them, so free of worries, not a care between them, weaving in and out so happy. It would always make me smile. I felt so happy watching them.
    Do you have someone or something, that no matter what makes you feel cheerier?
    *hug* xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Torturedsoul :wave:

    Just checking in to see how have things been for you since you posted?

    What about your cut, is it still giving you problems, or have you had a chance to get it soon to yet?

    Post back and let us know how you've been.

    Phil :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've cut more and I haven't had my other ones looked at. My sister has helped out a-bit. I do have a dog but can't walk him. I should probably fill out my referral form for counselling.
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    Counselling really helped me. I tried anti-depressants too, but I didn't feel much different on them. It was talking to someone, even if it was just an hour, it seemed to help. But the biggest help was the counselor doing 'cognitive behavioral therapy.'
    I hope you have a compassionate counselor like I did. xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've had counselling in the past and have been under the AMHT, but my last counsellor under AMHT told me that if I wanted more I would have to see my Dr and be referred again. So we'll see what happens this time. It's just so fraustrating when they say yeah you need to see your Dr and be referred again, it's like I'm just getting somewhere and then suddenly I'm back where I started. I was told when my first counsellor under AMHT referred me into the IAPT part that IAPT would be long term when it isn't. >.< So now I'm literally back to where I started. Waiting lists and no support. Filled out the referral form now just to post it.
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    You have support here. There are so many here who can listen and give advice because they have been were you are, and want you do get through this. xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi torturedsoul :)

    Thanks for getting back to us.

    Good to hear that your sister has been a help to you over the last few days.

    Have you thought any more about the referral for counselling?

    Have you checked the section on the site regarding speaking to someone further about your SH? The getting help section has a lot of info that might be useful. It offers advice on what to expect from health services and professionals as well as more insight into issues around confidentiality.

    http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm

    It might be worthwhile checking it out.

    Phil :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have filled out the form and do need to drop the form into my Dr's surgery, it's hard to be honest on the form but I have put about some of the self harm on the form, I'm scared because I know when they asked me before I said no to the self harm and I don't know what they're going to say because i've been telling them I don't self harm when I do. I'm scared they're going to tell me off for lying but I've been so scared to tell them about the self harm. But I just didn't feel able to tell them, I don't think I still would have but its on my referral form black and white so I have no choice really but to tell them.

    My cuts have become infected and I am going to buy some cream. They're really sore and painful, and there's clear liquid coming out of them.

    God I've screwed up big time.
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    It is hard when filling forms like that in. When I'm asked about mental illness on forms I'm not always sure what to say, because I still feel some shame, and partly because I'm doing better now. I worry about others reactions but I try to be as honest as possible. Its best to be honest so you can get the help you need when you need it.
    If you make out its not as bad, they may take longer, or give you support for one thing when you need it for something else. Being honest will help you. And don't worry about lying on forms in the past, they'll be able to understand it was hard to admit those things were going on.

    With cuts, apart from seeing a doctor/ hospital, its important to keep them clean and dry. You may need to clean and redress them everyday. Aloe Vera gel or cream may help, it's good for many things. Also Dettol antiseptic cream is suppose to be good.
    You should get it check as soon as possible, okay hun xx.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I couldn't find any dettol or savalon but found some anti septic cream in wilkinson's and bought that so hopefully it will help. Yeah its so hard being honest on forms, i've been more honest that last time on the form. If need be I can tell them about the cutting. But they do now know I S.H.
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    Its good they know, they can offer the correct support.
    I used to just say it was depression, and never dealt with the problems of self harm. That is until I felt comfortable opening up to my counselor. I was then able to deal with the issues. It was hard but worth it.
    xx :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I've been diagnose with 'unspecified adult behaviour and personality disorder'
    'depression' 'anxiety' 'ADHD' and have been labelled by my Dr as a self mutilator. I don't think anyone really know what's going on with me lol.
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    Sounds like a bit of a jumble. But as long as you find someone or something helpful, labels don't really matter.
    Me for example, if anyone on the site read all of my posts they would think; OMG, just what isn't wrong with this nutter? :crazyeyes

    I am way off normal, and probably have more labels (if I ever get tested) than a New Look store. Then again, who whats to be normal anyway? That's boring, and my friends and family love me just the way I am. ;)

    Still if having a label means getting help I won't say no. My mother thinks I have a touch of ADD, never been diagnosed but I tend to agree. One time, on my 15th birthday party I got so excited I was bouncing off the walls and ended up falling down the stairs. Everyone thought I was drunk, but I hadn't touched anything yet. :lol:

    Keep going hun, you're really brave. xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah you just sort of want to yell at them give me on diagnosis not ten. :banghead:

    on the upside I think my cut is getting better if It's not better by like next Tuesday I'm gona pop to the A&E department (feel to ashamed to visit my Dr)
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    It doesn't matter where you go as long as you take care of yourself. xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    True it's deffinatley getting better as the redness is going down and so is the swelling and it's not hurting as much when I walk.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    is it okay to 'squeeze' it ? as squeezing it seems to help like in the bath and such like when the scab comes off in the water because it's soggy.
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    I'm not sure. :chin: I always pick at scabs and let the air get to it. But they say scabs and stuff like that is the body's way of protecting itself from infection and disease, so probably best not to do anything that may reopen it.
    Hope I helped. xx :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah it's healing at long last and the infections gone. Looking forward tomorrow. thanks everyones :thumb: going to go to bed n sleep. :)
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    Night hun. xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Morning :hehe:
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    Yes morning, or afternoon. :wave:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lol it's evening now how are you ?
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    I'm ok. A bit low.
    Still a bit sick. I tend to get a tiny bit depressed when I'm ill, because I feel useless and have no energy for things.
    I hate being sick. :yuck:
    How are you?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    awww hope you get better soon, i'm okay, i have got appointment for counselling on the 23rd as handed referral form into docs.
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    Thanks hun.
    Hope your counselor is someone you feel comfortable opening up to. Mine was brill, very nice lady with a lot of practical advice.
    Good luck for the 23rd, try not to be nervous. xx :heart:
Sign In or Register to comment.