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Numb *triggering*
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm exhausted, literally exhausted.
I went out last night and watched the possession with G. It was good, wasn't scary I laughed all the way through G was scared though.
I slept last night so that's something.
I'm trying to look at things positively but it's hard.
I'm so exhausted. It's hard, really hard.
I don't have much to say. I'm so exhausted that I literally can't think.
I haven't felt myself all day it's weird, I haven't felt how I normally do, but I don't feel happy either, I don't really feel anything, I think I'm numb.
I've longed to feel this way and now I do and I want to go back to feeling.
G has been doing my head in today, she has not stopped texting me about this weekend and if I can see her or not and I keep telling her I don't know, because it's dad's birthday I don't know what plans we have etc and I don't know if family are coming over or not and G just won't listen. She keeps asking me and I keep saying I don't know.
I don't think G gets t. She moaned at me because I didn't text back straight away. I can't text back straight away I've been looking after my dad, my sisters sat in her room doing as she pleases whilst I've hoovered, washed up, dried up, cooked dinner, shopped, bought dad beer, and emptyed the dishwasher and cooker her dinner. I can't do it all alone I need help, I really do. I'm struggling, work's getting to me. Everything is.
I haven't managed to fill out my referral form yet I should, I know I should and I will when I get a few spare minuets to myself.
I need a break. I need help. I need sleep. I need to feel something over than this. I think I'm numb ?
I just don't know what to do and my thigh is throbbing, think one of my cuts are infected, its all red round it and swollen and itchy, there's nothing coming out of it, should probably get it checked out but I feel to ashamed.
help.
I went out last night and watched the possession with G. It was good, wasn't scary I laughed all the way through G was scared though.
I slept last night so that's something.
I'm trying to look at things positively but it's hard.
I'm so exhausted. It's hard, really hard.
I don't have much to say. I'm so exhausted that I literally can't think.
I haven't felt myself all day it's weird, I haven't felt how I normally do, but I don't feel happy either, I don't really feel anything, I think I'm numb.
I've longed to feel this way and now I do and I want to go back to feeling.
G has been doing my head in today, she has not stopped texting me about this weekend and if I can see her or not and I keep telling her I don't know, because it's dad's birthday I don't know what plans we have etc and I don't know if family are coming over or not and G just won't listen. She keeps asking me and I keep saying I don't know.
I don't think G gets t. She moaned at me because I didn't text back straight away. I can't text back straight away I've been looking after my dad, my sisters sat in her room doing as she pleases whilst I've hoovered, washed up, dried up, cooked dinner, shopped, bought dad beer, and emptyed the dishwasher and cooker her dinner. I can't do it all alone I need help, I really do. I'm struggling, work's getting to me. Everything is.
I haven't managed to fill out my referral form yet I should, I know I should and I will when I get a few spare minuets to myself.
I need a break. I need help. I need sleep. I need to feel something over than this. I think I'm numb ?
I just don't know what to do and my thigh is throbbing, think one of my cuts are infected, its all red round it and swollen and itchy, there's nothing coming out of it, should probably get it checked out but I feel to ashamed.
help.
0
Comments
Everyone needs help, we can't do everything alone. Your sister should help, its unfair on you.
I found being numb sometimes was better than hurting myself. What have you tried to stop feeling numb?
I would go walk the dogs. Watching them, so free of worries, not a care between them, weaving in and out so happy. It would always make me smile. I felt so happy watching them.
Do you have someone or something, that no matter what makes you feel cheerier?
*hug* xx
Just checking in to see how have things been for you since you posted?
What about your cut, is it still giving you problems, or have you had a chance to get it soon to yet?
Post back and let us know how you've been.
Phil :thumb:
I hope you have a compassionate counselor like I did. xx
Thanks for getting back to us.
Good to hear that your sister has been a help to you over the last few days.
Have you thought any more about the referral for counselling?
Have you checked the section on the site regarding speaking to someone further about your SH? The getting help section has a lot of info that might be useful. It offers advice on what to expect from health services and professionals as well as more insight into issues around confidentiality.
http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm
It might be worthwhile checking it out.
Phil :thumb:
My cuts have become infected and I am going to buy some cream. They're really sore and painful, and there's clear liquid coming out of them.
God I've screwed up big time.
If you make out its not as bad, they may take longer, or give you support for one thing when you need it for something else. Being honest will help you. And don't worry about lying on forms in the past, they'll be able to understand it was hard to admit those things were going on.
With cuts, apart from seeing a doctor/ hospital, its important to keep them clean and dry. You may need to clean and redress them everyday. Aloe Vera gel or cream may help, it's good for many things. Also Dettol antiseptic cream is suppose to be good.
You should get it check as soon as possible, okay hun xx.
I used to just say it was depression, and never dealt with the problems of self harm. That is until I felt comfortable opening up to my counselor. I was then able to deal with the issues. It was hard but worth it.
xx
'depression' 'anxiety' 'ADHD' and have been labelled by my Dr as a self mutilator. I don't think anyone really know what's going on with me lol.
Me for example, if anyone on the site read all of my posts they would think; OMG, just what isn't wrong with this nutter? :crazyeyes
I am way off normal, and probably have more labels (if I ever get tested) than a New Look store. Then again, who whats to be normal anyway? That's boring, and my friends and family love me just the way I am.
Still if having a label means getting help I won't say no. My mother thinks I have a touch of ADD, never been diagnosed but I tend to agree. One time, on my 15th birthday party I got so excited I was bouncing off the walls and ended up falling down the stairs. Everyone thought I was drunk, but I hadn't touched anything yet.
Keep going hun, you're really brave. xx
on the upside I think my cut is getting better if It's not better by like next Tuesday I'm gona pop to the A&E department (feel to ashamed to visit my Dr)
Hope I helped. xx
Still a bit sick. I tend to get a tiny bit depressed when I'm ill, because I feel useless and have no energy for things.
I hate being sick. :yuck:
How are you?
Hope your counselor is someone you feel comfortable opening up to. Mine was brill, very nice lady with a lot of practical advice.
Good luck for the 23rd, try not to be nervous. xx