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given up weed - have I screwed my head up?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
sorry, this post is going to sound like an emo-fest, but this is genuinely how I feel.

I was an avid smoker for over 10 years and I have now given up.. tomorrow will be my 7th week with absolutely no weed. I used to smoke all throughout the day, every day, except when working. As soon as I was home I would blaze up.

after getting past the "withdrawal symptoms" of not eating or sleeping very well and being very angry and irritable for a week or so, I have found there has been an almost overwhelming sense of sadness and unhappiness ever since.

to clear a couple of things up, I do not miss being stoned. I can recall about three or four times I have had the urge to smoke since giving up but those cravings pass within minutes. I am very confident that I will never smoke again.

the sadness is really bringing me down however. I feel very unfulfilled. I cant seem to find comfort in music anymore, even my favourite songs, because everything sounds so flat and empty to me. I just don't feel anything, apart from that sense of sadness.

I have good friends and being with them helps me somewhat but they have noticed a difference in the way I act. one of my friends told me the other day that he hadnt seen me laugh for ages (as I was always laughing and joking about when I was stoned).

I thought this sadness was me re-adjusting to life without weed, but as it has been near enough 7 weeks, i'm starting to wonder if there is more to it. I dont know what to do. I dont remember being this unhappy before starting weed, but that was a long time ago. I also worry that I have caused myself some serious long-term damage.

obviously the weed habit turned into a dependence. So part of me wonders if it was because I was unhappy to begin with but didnt realise. I have searched the topics for familiar info and i have read a lot of thesite articles which are very good but dont seem to cover the way I feel at the moment.

has anyone else been in my shoes? can they tell me if these feelings are familiar and if they ever pass? I just dont know what to do.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think the sadness comes from the lack of weed. I think there are more underlying problems in your life and the weed just masked it. You will probably need to think hard, or talk to someone about your life and why it doesn't fulfill you. Is it a dead end job? Being single? Unresolved issues with friends or family?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd agree with Strubbles. I don't think weed has screwed your head up like you think it has, I know plenty of people who quit after years and they've moved on life without looking back. Most likely you're simply depressed, which is likely related to why you start smoking every day to begin with. Cause and effect, easily confused.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Bouncylou :wave:

    First off just wanted to say that you should feel really chuffed about making the decision to quit and managing to stick with it. It can't be an easy habit to break after all that time but you're obvisouly in a place now where you've chosen that it's no longer something you want in your life and that's really strong :thumb:

    As the others have mentioned it sounds like you might have been a bit depressed before you started smoking, or it filled a gap in your life that wasn't being filled perhaps?

    You're clearly really self-aware and it's really positive that you're reaching out for some advice. I wonder if you've seen this article on being positive: http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/wellbeing/lookingafteryourself/beingpositive

    There's some good ideas for taking control, doing things for yourself will help to rebuild your confidence and sense of purpose, thinking about what interests you and working towardss goal.. here are some of the suggestions:
    1.Train yourself to notice when you are happy and try to collect five happy moments every single day.
    2.Get active - physical activity releases happy chemicals in our brains.
    3.Sign up as a volunteer research shows that helping others gives us a sense of wellbeing.
    4.Keep in contact with your mates - scientists report that individuals with a good social network are more likely to be positive people.
    5.Write a letter of thanks to someone who has helped you or had a great influence on you. This will increase your positive and contented feelings.
    6.Eat healthily, drink plenty of water and get sufficient sleep. It's hard to feel positive if you aren't treating your body with care and respect.

    I hope some of this helps, do keep posting if you're finding it useful. Writing things down can be a great tool for clarifying how you think and feel about things :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    May I ask why you gave up weed? Did something happen in your life?
    The way you're typing your original post, I get the sense there is some negative subtext there. I'm interested to know your reasoning, maybe then we can get to the root of your sadness.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well it is now coming up to my 10th week with no weed and I really am feeling a lot better. I seem to have the odd random day where I feel down and depressed (and it's always at night time funnily enough) but those days are now in between stints of good days where I feel normal and generally happy. Conversations are flowing so much better for me and I find I have an extra 'edge' to my personality.. A far cry from before where I'd just be nodding in agreement with a stoner smile on my face.

    Strangely enough the cravings are a lot stronger than what they were before, I find I think about smoking nearly every day now and my brain keeps making up excuses for me to have another go or 'one last smoke' but I am determined not to go back because I'd only be putting myself at square one again.

    Things are definitely progressing and I thank you all for the advice and comments.

    Colin... The reason I stopped smoking first of all was due to a lack of money from losing my job, then after feeling awful and realising how much it was affecting me I thought I'd make a proper go of it. My reasons then changed and I wanted to give up due to the fact I was just fed up with feeling like a zombie even though, at the time, I felt rougher than ever. Looking at it now, I feel like the last 10 years of my life have been a blur and a complete waste.

    I was turning into a complete hermit and on the odd occasions I went out I'd always be back home early because weed would be on my mind and I would want to smoke. I've squandered chances and opportunities, lost a relationship with someone I considered a soulmate, lost contact with a number of friends from my past and haven't achieved anything all because I was too content being stoned all the time. Maybe that was the source of the depression but I just didn't know it.

    My respects (and envy) to those of you that can keep their smoking habits casual but it doesn't work for me anymore - I know it's not the same for everyone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    proad

    nothing like being clear minded my friend despite what your druggie friends may tell you because we all have those friends that make you feel like a craphead for quiting but we feel the best
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