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given up weed - have I screwed my head up?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
sorry, this post is going to sound like an emo-fest, but this is genuinely how I feel.
I was an avid smoker for over 10 years and I have now given up.. tomorrow will be my 7th week with absolutely no weed. I used to smoke all throughout the day, every day, except when working. As soon as I was home I would blaze up.
after getting past the "withdrawal symptoms" of not eating or sleeping very well and being very angry and irritable for a week or so, I have found there has been an almost overwhelming sense of sadness and unhappiness ever since.
to clear a couple of things up, I do not miss being stoned. I can recall about three or four times I have had the urge to smoke since giving up but those cravings pass within minutes. I am very confident that I will never smoke again.
the sadness is really bringing me down however. I feel very unfulfilled. I cant seem to find comfort in music anymore, even my favourite songs, because everything sounds so flat and empty to me. I just don't feel anything, apart from that sense of sadness.
I have good friends and being with them helps me somewhat but they have noticed a difference in the way I act. one of my friends told me the other day that he hadnt seen me laugh for ages (as I was always laughing and joking about when I was stoned).
I thought this sadness was me re-adjusting to life without weed, but as it has been near enough 7 weeks, i'm starting to wonder if there is more to it. I dont know what to do. I dont remember being this unhappy before starting weed, but that was a long time ago. I also worry that I have caused myself some serious long-term damage.
obviously the weed habit turned into a dependence. So part of me wonders if it was because I was unhappy to begin with but didnt realise. I have searched the topics for familiar info and i have read a lot of thesite articles which are very good but dont seem to cover the way I feel at the moment.
has anyone else been in my shoes? can they tell me if these feelings are familiar and if they ever pass? I just dont know what to do.
I was an avid smoker for over 10 years and I have now given up.. tomorrow will be my 7th week with absolutely no weed. I used to smoke all throughout the day, every day, except when working. As soon as I was home I would blaze up.
after getting past the "withdrawal symptoms" of not eating or sleeping very well and being very angry and irritable for a week or so, I have found there has been an almost overwhelming sense of sadness and unhappiness ever since.
to clear a couple of things up, I do not miss being stoned. I can recall about three or four times I have had the urge to smoke since giving up but those cravings pass within minutes. I am very confident that I will never smoke again.
the sadness is really bringing me down however. I feel very unfulfilled. I cant seem to find comfort in music anymore, even my favourite songs, because everything sounds so flat and empty to me. I just don't feel anything, apart from that sense of sadness.
I have good friends and being with them helps me somewhat but they have noticed a difference in the way I act. one of my friends told me the other day that he hadnt seen me laugh for ages (as I was always laughing and joking about when I was stoned).
I thought this sadness was me re-adjusting to life without weed, but as it has been near enough 7 weeks, i'm starting to wonder if there is more to it. I dont know what to do. I dont remember being this unhappy before starting weed, but that was a long time ago. I also worry that I have caused myself some serious long-term damage.
obviously the weed habit turned into a dependence. So part of me wonders if it was because I was unhappy to begin with but didnt realise. I have searched the topics for familiar info and i have read a lot of thesite articles which are very good but dont seem to cover the way I feel at the moment.
has anyone else been in my shoes? can they tell me if these feelings are familiar and if they ever pass? I just dont know what to do.
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Comments
First off just wanted to say that you should feel really chuffed about making the decision to quit and managing to stick with it. It can't be an easy habit to break after all that time but you're obvisouly in a place now where you've chosen that it's no longer something you want in your life and that's really strong :thumb:
As the others have mentioned it sounds like you might have been a bit depressed before you started smoking, or it filled a gap in your life that wasn't being filled perhaps?
You're clearly really self-aware and it's really positive that you're reaching out for some advice. I wonder if you've seen this article on being positive: http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/wellbeing/lookingafteryourself/beingpositive
There's some good ideas for taking control, doing things for yourself will help to rebuild your confidence and sense of purpose, thinking about what interests you and working towardss goal.. here are some of the suggestions:
I hope some of this helps, do keep posting if you're finding it useful. Writing things down can be a great tool for clarifying how you think and feel about things
The way you're typing your original post, I get the sense there is some negative subtext there. I'm interested to know your reasoning, maybe then we can get to the root of your sadness.
Strangely enough the cravings are a lot stronger than what they were before, I find I think about smoking nearly every day now and my brain keeps making up excuses for me to have another go or 'one last smoke' but I am determined not to go back because I'd only be putting myself at square one again.
Things are definitely progressing and I thank you all for the advice and comments.
Colin... The reason I stopped smoking first of all was due to a lack of money from losing my job, then after feeling awful and realising how much it was affecting me I thought I'd make a proper go of it. My reasons then changed and I wanted to give up due to the fact I was just fed up with feeling like a zombie even though, at the time, I felt rougher than ever. Looking at it now, I feel like the last 10 years of my life have been a blur and a complete waste.
I was turning into a complete hermit and on the odd occasions I went out I'd always be back home early because weed would be on my mind and I would want to smoke. I've squandered chances and opportunities, lost a relationship with someone I considered a soulmate, lost contact with a number of friends from my past and haven't achieved anything all because I was too content being stoned all the time. Maybe that was the source of the depression but I just didn't know it.
My respects (and envy) to those of you that can keep their smoking habits casual but it doesn't work for me anymore - I know it's not the same for everyone.
nothing like being clear minded my friend despite what your druggie friends may tell you because we all have those friends that make you feel like a craphead for quiting but we feel the best