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Attracted to work colleagues but not after a date

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've never asked out a woman at work, in keeping with many workplaces as sexual relationships formed there can be tricky. Saying that, I meet nice young females amongst staff at the school where I have a job. Do other posters flirt, talk and have a few fantasies regarding people they meet week to week where they are employed?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would advise against it, as long as you are not in a different department, or don't interact with each other for most of the work day.
  • *Holly**Holly* Moderator Deactivated Posts: 140 Settling in
    Hi Kiwifruit

    Fancying work colleagues is pretty common. Let’s face it, working life can be pretty dull and an office/work crush is a harmless way of passing the time. Whether or not you act on your feelings though is up to the individual. According to some statistics, around 20% of couples met at work! So don’t necessarily discount the possibility of a work-relationship becoming something special if you’ve met someone you really like.

    This TheSite article may give you some food for thought...
    Screwing the crew

    Holly
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Holly* wrote: »
    Hi Kiwifruit

    Fancying work colleagues is pretty common. Let?s face it, working life can be pretty dull and an office/work crush is a harmless way of passing the time. Whether or not you act on your feelings though is up to the individual. According to some statistics, around 20% of couples met at work! So don?t necessarily discount the possibility of a work-relationship becoming something special if you?ve met someone you really like.

    This TheSite article may give you some food for thought...
    Screwing the crew

    Holly

    seconded
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you a man or woman?

    I've fancied a fair few (straight) colleagues in the past. Never asked any out... Obviously.

    Sorry, that wasn't much help...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think I flirt with everyone I can. It's a good way to make friends as long as you don't send mixed signals, I haven't known a single workplace I can think of where there wasn't some level of flirting going on. Some obviously went too far with the (male) bosses being far too forward with the female staff... because that's crossing over a power-relationship (e.g. you can't tell your boss to backoff).

    If you are on the same level 'authority-wise' though, don't worry about it as long as its subtle and fun. It's better to get on with your workmates well and have everyone enjoy going to work than it is to always be 100% professional and formal.

    I've never asked anyone out from various jobs however, it would feel awkward. Fantasies, of course, I'm a guy, and most guys single or married will probably have the occasional fantasy about their female colleagues. Women are probably the same with their male colleagues. Fantasies are just that though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    Some obviously went too far with the (male) bosses being far too forward with the female staff... because that's crossing over a power-relationship (e.g. you can't tell your boss to backoff).

    I have to disagree, you can tell your boss to back off if you are uncomfortable with what is being said/done. If they keep doing it, you have the harassment law(?) which protects you. You should always be in control about that sort of thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have to disagree, you can tell your boss to back off if you are uncomfortable with what is being said/done. If they keep doing it, you have the harassment law(?) which protects you. You should always be in control about that sort of thing.

    You are right 100% you can legally tell your boss or make a complaint. But there would be an unspoken social pressure in that situation that to not be a 'prudish little bitch' or something. That's unfair which is why flirting between different levels of authority should be kept to a minimum. You might feel like complaining would give you a bad reputation as someone who didn't want to get on with anyone, or be passed over for promotion.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Namaste wrote: »
    Are you a man or woman?

    wear trousers only
    I have to disagree, you can tell your boss to back off if you are uncomfortable with what is being said/done. If they keep doing it, you have the harassment law(?) which protects you. You should always be in control about that sort of thing.

    yeah, take the boss to tribunal and sue him for work harassment
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »

    I've never asked anyone out from various jobs however, it would feel awkward. Fantasies, of course, I'm a guy, and most guys single or married will probably have the occasional fantasy about their female colleagues. Women are probably the same with their male colleagues. Fantasies are just that though.

    end of day one can spend 35-40 hours every week with work colleagues- emotions of all sorts flare and wane
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    You are right 100% you can legally tell your boss or make a complaint. But there would be an unspoken social pressure in that situation that to not be a 'prudish little bitch' or something. That's unfair which is why flirting between different levels of authority should be kept to a minimum. You might feel like complaining would give you a bad reputation as someone who didn't want to get on with anyone, or be passed over for promotion.

    good bosses stay at emotional distance to staff under him- professionalism and aware of strict limits of private feelinds
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