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Not Coping At Uni
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I just moved into halls on saturday. The first few nights were fine but last night and all of today I have felt extremely low. I've cried so much in my room its unreal. Im only 17 so I cant go to many things that my flatmates are going to. I have no one to talk to as I dont know anyone. I dont feel homesick at all, although I miss my friends and family like I would normally. I have an urge to harm but have nothing to do it with. So far I've settled on causing bruises on my arms and legs. But its really not enough :banghead: I just feel so lonely in a city I dont know, full of people I dont know. I would go to the union and socialise but I'm too scared to go on my own and I'm awkward and shy around new people.
I really dont know what to do
I really dont know what to do
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Comments
When i first started uni my flatmates where the first people, and the easiest, i made friends with. Next time you bump into someone making dinner in the kitchen just strike up a conversation, even if its just 'what are you having?'. They may seem well settled in but theyre probably still homesick and just as nervous to make friends as you are
I guess I'm just not adjusting to Freshers quite like I'd hoped but its really getting to me and I really hoped my life wold run smoother once I was away from home, but if anything its much more frustrating and worse than before.
I started one, the Rock society, and we had all sorts come to our socials, it really helped me make friends.
Have you accessed the uni support services yet? That might be a good idea.
The first few weeks at uni can be a stressful time for anyone.
The above advice regarding joining social groups of interest to you is really good and you'll find plenty of information about them at the Freshers Fair. Social groups at uni are varied and plentiful. It's a matter of just finding the right one for you.
Hanging out around the social areas is a good idea too. Lexi99 is right, food is a great way of breaking the ice. Maybe suggest things like making home made pizza for the next DVD afternoon, something you can all get stuck into together and have fun while doing.
Your university will almost certainly have a free counselling service that you could access, should you feel that necessary. That might be worth checking out.
Remember to take a deep breath and relax. Things will get easier, being away from home is a big change, especially in a new city. There's a lot to take in.
Keep posting and let us know how your getting on.
*hug*
Phil
Firstly, loads of people will be feeling like this - Freshers' week is rubbish.
The students' union was my salvation; I didn't make friends on my course or in my residence really but I got involved in a society and was on the committee and then got really into the SU in general and I loved it.
Try as many societies as possible, that way you'll meet as many people as possible, you don't need to join them all! The hardest thing to do is to rock up on your own, I completely understand that, but once you've done it you'll feel a real sense of achievement. If you're really unsure, email the society in advance. Most will be able to arrange for you to meet someone, but even if they don't as long as they reply you feel like you'll know someone when you arrive.
Good luck! And do pop in to the uni counselling service or your GP if you're worried about how you're feeling.