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We've started our first discussion for our Christmas campaign which is focusing on religion or cultural beliefs that help you when you're feeling down. Some of the responses will be used anonymously on social media as a video. If you'd like to take part, head over to this thread.

Really need your help on this :-S

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
This is probably an overlap between this thread and the relationships one, but it mainly concerns my current job. I'll try and keep things brief...

Recently I applied for an internal job as an R&D scientist, from my current role as lab technician. It's a medical company and their R&D department is just such a desirable place to be - the team are ace, really laid back and fun atmosphere doing research on things I'm interested in and did a degree in. My desk is in the R&D office so I often work around them and get on well with the guys there.

Now my last job didn't go too well...I was having a crappy time personally outside of work, and I wasn't too well liked by the team there. One guy who started there was the most sociable, outgoing guy you're likely to meet, and he took the spotlight and attention of the team within weeks of starting. Good for him! Just wish I could transplant a bit of his personality into mine, but going off the point here.

Anyway, going back to my current job. It turns out the guy who beat me to the post with the R&D job was....low and behold....the guy from my last job! :mad:

I was really, really passionate about working in that team. I was told by R&D that I was actually better than the other applicants (including him) but it wasn't in the company interest to move me internally. I was devastated, as this is my career and research is where I want to be. So for him of all people to get the job is like kicking me in the 'nads while I'm down.

But this is where things get even more painful. There's a girl in R&D who's shown a lot of interest in me. She's an amazing girl and I recently asked her out. She declined, as she said she was already in a relationship :crying: But the new guy gets on really well with her. The first time I went to catch her to ask her out, she came walking back into the office with him having a proper laugh. Whilst I know they work together but you have to see this from my POV....to have to sit in R&D where I can see and hear that team I *should* have been a part of, to see him have a laugh who got the job over me, and to see the girl I adored taking a shine to that same guy is becoming unbearable :impissed: And I'm pretty sure he's had a good gossip with his new 'gang' about the way I was at my last job when I just wanted to impress her.

I couldn't have designed a more passiontely painful plot to what has been three months in this current job. Even though she's already with someone I still see this new guy as a threat, and I'm massively jealous of the fact he gets to have laugh with her and I can only sit there and watch it happen....

I suppose I'm asking these things: should I stay, put up and shut up and just grow a thicker skin? Am I right to be upset and devastated to this extent? Should I resign and get over it or stay and try to prove myself a more fun and exciting guy than him? Sorry for the long post but it's pretty hard to keep brief. Hope to hear back from someone! Cheers


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Firstly, high five fellow medically related lab technician!

    Well, I'm not too good with relationship advice, so I will stick more to the job advice but from what you've said that does sound a bit stupid not to offer you the R&D job if you are the best applicant. I wonder why it wouldn't benefit them to move you internally, unless of course by keeping you where you are they only have to find a new scientist, and not a scientist and a lab tech. Do you feel valued in your job? I can also see why you are annoyed. With regards to resigning, is it likely there will be another internal vacancy arising soon which you could go for? It's all very well and good quitting, but is it likely you will find another job in your area of interest? It's one to think about, as I personally found there to be a lack of science jobs going at the moment in the area I wanted.
    Though you may be able to move company to the Scientist level, and then hop back to your present company when a vacancy arises if that is still what you want to do, though you would be taking a small risk I suppose.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    High five back at ya, from an annoyingly 'too distant from a proper medical role' lab techincian thingy-man. :thumb:

    Think you hit the nail on the head reagrding the reason for not giving me the R&D role, exactly my thoughts :yes: I'm a bit too valued (work-wise) in my current dept tbh, the team are great but there's a lot going on project-wise, so I suppose the companies interest was keeping me where I am and "keep doing all the good work for us!"

    Not sure where you are based, but here in the North West these kind of jobs are nigh' on gold dust. Especially research posts, so quitting would be a risk financially as I can't guarantee I'll secure a job anytime soon. But I'm so passionately miffed (along with the girl bit...) that despite the risk, I'd be a lot happier in myself leaving. It's another one of life's trade-offs :rolleyes:

    Hope all is good with you career-wise, ta for the response
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm a bit too valued (work-wise) in my current dept tbh, the team are great but there's a lot going on project-wise, so I suppose the companies interest was keeping me where I am and "keep doing all the good work for us!"

    Yeah, that was sort of what I also meant by them only having to find one person. If you know what you are doing, then they don't have to train you up for a new role whilst at the same time training up a new technician. It makes sense for the business, but can make you feel undervalued. It's tricky to know whether to do this or not, but could you let them know you are thinking of leaving, in the hope they can offer you something more? Or is it best for you to keep quiet? It is tricky because it depends on who you work with and your company structure. For example, when it's my turn to move up to scientist (not for a few years at least) I will most likely have to swap companies due to the lab size and set up, so maybe I could tell people as there is virtually zero chance of me being able to remain there.

    I'm in the south, in an area where there are a few vacancies, but I did have to move towns and leave home to take this job, as where I am there was one company, whom I don't want to work for (and they didn't have vacancies).
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