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Too independent for a relationship?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi guys, I'm just wondering what you all think about being independent and having your own space in relationships.
I absolutely love my own space and don't feel the need to see my boyfriend every day. I get the feeling he would quite happily have us move in together, but we've not discussed this directly as we've not been together long
So do I need someone who likes their own space as much as me do you think?
Also, I'm not even sure I'm ready to live with another person. I'm very independent. I'm not a needy person, but I do love having a boyfriend. Although I guess for these reasons, I don't make him feel as needed as much as he'd like to me to.
I'm just a bit confused I guess, as to whether I can have a successful relationship being who I am.
I absolutely love my own space and don't feel the need to see my boyfriend every day. I get the feeling he would quite happily have us move in together, but we've not discussed this directly as we've not been together long
So do I need someone who likes their own space as much as me do you think?
Also, I'm not even sure I'm ready to live with another person. I'm very independent. I'm not a needy person, but I do love having a boyfriend. Although I guess for these reasons, I don't make him feel as needed as much as he'd like to me to.
I'm just a bit confused I guess, as to whether I can have a successful relationship being who I am.
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Comments
The key to this is communication, I'm a very needy boyfriend even when I try not to be, but I do understand when people want there own space. I explain that I'm very needy and if I'm being too needy to tell me.
Have you discussed this matter with your boyfriend? Explaining that you do care about him but enjoy your own space will help him understand you. Relationships are about compromise (as they say), your boyfriend should understand your independence and above all respect it, whilst at the same time you should ensure that you make him feel like he is needed. Ask him to tell you when he feels unneeded, so you can reassure him.
Don't know if this will help. :P
Some are the complete opposite of course. :P
I like to feel secure in a relationship, and so I don't feel the need to be needy. It reflects insecurities, and I don't really feel as though I have enough of those to be needy. This is of course not the case in every relationship, but I feel strangely relaxed in this one :yes:
I'm the opposite, I'm a guy and I quite strongly dislike needy girls, sure I like to feel like I'm wanted but I think girls acting constantly needy is a put off, for me anyway! As much as I like someone I will want my own space, I have my own stuff to do but I would also want to spend time with the girl
In reality theres a huge range of people who have diffrence preffrences about needyness buts all about finding a healthy middleground for each side, thats whats going to make a successful relationship
Thanks for the offer strubbles, but that's a bit too extreme :eek: lol!
All I'll say is that everyone's different! Personally I was waaaaayyy to indepedant to have a meaningful relationship. When I met my girlfriend :flirt: though that all changed and now we live together. So by all means work out where you're at now, but don't presume you'll always be like that. :yippe:
That's the best advice I can offer! :thumb: *hug*
Seeing someone every day seems like a lot. I don't think I would see someone every day simply because I have a life outside of them. The exception would be if we worked or were in the same classes.
I'm so confused as to why my feelings aren't coming across. I feel helpless.