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10 Reasons not have kids...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
http://him.uk.msn.com/sex-and-dating/articles.aspx?cp-documentid=156391220

I just wondered what people's views on the above were. I am 22 and at the moment really don't want kids and after reading the above, can't see myself changing my mind like everyone tells me I will when I get older!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In confused's link, it states that children "cost the earth" - are they really that expensive though?
    Children make you boring to your friends

    No matter how hard men may try, we always struggle to not talk about our kids. That inane thing they did that cracked you up last week; how they've grown out of their shorts and the cute thing they said. It's inevitable. Dads are excited by their kids, and they want to share that with their friends. But pity your mates who just want to have a beer and some banter, and spare them the detail.

    Am I lucky or something then? I have friends with children. They will sometimes talk about their children - but not that often.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What a load of pisswank. It was on MSN though so no further comment is needed.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What a load of pisswank. It was on MSN though so no further comment is needed.

    :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When you've had a hug from your child, who is excited to see you after you've had a shit day at work, or when you sit with your child and they giggle uncontrollably at something simple like making faces at each other, or the first time you are called Daddy/Mummy, or the time they are hurt/upset and the only thing that makes them better is a hug from you...

    When any of those happen, nothing else matters in life. Nothing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and it's only going to get harder, but it's the most worthwhile thing I've ever done. I'm not lying when I say all the hard work has been worth it and then some.

    As for losing your weekend, I do what I've always done at a weekend- potter round town, drink coffee and have a wine at home. I just do it with a small shouty child in tow.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dunno, i love my kids, but i think its much more sensible not to have any. Or maybe just dont have 2 within 11months of each other.

    Theres lots of things i miss about my freedom
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was never a clubber so I don't miss that side of things. I do miss being able to be spontaneous about nights out or going out to a restaurant, as we have to be more choosy where we eat or find a babysitter well in advance. I miss the spare cash we had too, as we've gone from two full time incomes and two people to one full time income and three people.

    I do miss things, and there are a lot of sacrifices, but I think she's worth it. I'd rather have a daughter and few nights out than total freedom, more cash and no daughter. I hope that I continue to feel that as she gets older and things get harder.

    I don't know how anyone copes with having two in a short period of time, I really admire anyone who does that without losing all their marbles. We're "lucky" in that baby doesn't give us enough time to ourselves for a second baby to be an issue :(

    I miss sleep more than anything though...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dunno, i love my kids, but i think its much more sensible not to have any. Or maybe just dont have 2 within 11months of each other.

    Theres lots of things i miss about my freedom

    I think having two quickly must be really hard. Kids can be very tiring at the best of times and I feel for you there.

    However, personally, I don't miss those freedom because I know that I will get them back when the kids leave home. I also know that my life will feel emptier when they do leave.

    I really appreciate what my kids have given me, how they have helped me grow as a person, have given me a completely different perspective on life. I've watching them grow and develop into individuals and watched my eldest grow into a young man. He's older now than many people on this site :eek:

    Not minute of one day in those 17 years have I regretted having him. Sure there's been heartache at times but as Arctic Roll says, for all that the joys far, far outweigh any difficulties.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah yeah, all that, but can you imagine, a HOLIDAY, without kids.

    omg, i could just cry for one. Even a weekend off.

    I used to get time off when i had one kid. When youve got 3, the offers really dry up
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not sure if I ever want kids. I'll probably change my mind if I ever meet the right person and feel in the right position. But even from when I was little I'd say I didn't want any, I've never really liked children and after spending every day for 6 weeks in a household with a hyper 3 year old and a pair of 18 month old twins and seeing the chaos and how difficult it made their lives to do anything, it's put me off even more. I mean I know its an extreme case but after actually seeing it first hand and being there everyday, I was itching to get home and have my freedom back!
    Maybe I'm selfish, but I don't like the idea of wrecking my body, getting no sleep, having no money or freedom and my whole live revolving around someone else. I might change in time - I probably just need to do everything I want while I'm in my 20s, and hopefully that way I won't regret losing my freedom if I ever have kids.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Or maybe just dont have 2 within 11months of each other.

    I honestly don't know how you do it. I'd be frazzled. We're planning at least a 3 year gap (much to grandparent's horror). A couple of my baby group friends with littlies the same age as Superbaby have just announced their pregnancies and the idea of me being upduffed again so soon makes me feel a bit :shocking:

    I think, in my brief experience, that kids are the hardest but also the best thing I can imagine. I'm not the same person I was before her, and I actually (usually) quite like the person she's made me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would like kids one day but right now I'm definately not ready to give up my freedom and independence when I've kind of only just found it
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah yeah, all that, but can you imagine, a HOLIDAY, without kids.

    omg, i could just cry for one. Even a weekend off.

    I used to get time off when i had one kid. When youve got 3, the offers really dry up

    I think this is why grandparents are so important and I have two really supportive sets.

    Sure we haven't had a holiday away, but have had the odd weekend.

    I plan on doing what my parents did and touring the globe when the kids are older and I will appreciate the world more anyway... I'd have only wasted those holidays in my youth and not appreciate the beauty and sights...

    I also have to say that having the gap which we do I really appreciate the fact that they grow up so fast, childhood is gone so fast so I'm enjoying making the most of it whilst I can. This is the third time that I've been able to discover the wide world through a child's eyes and it truly is a wonderous place...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Having kids would be awesome.

    I know its tough, but its the greatest privilege which not everyone gets.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Those are almost all very superficial reasons to not have kids. All this would probably be a very big deal to me if I had to sacrifice it for someone I have no emotional bond with.

    I'm a new parent and it's been a tough ride so far and I'm exhausted almost every day. However, when baby smiles I'm the happiest person in the world.

    It's been two years since I got to know my stepdaughter for the first time and that's when I started realising that despite everything, it's pretty magical to see a kid experiencing something "mundane" for the first time or achieving something on their own.

    I know that I would get very bored having all the extra income and doing the exact same things year after year. Holidays are fun but I think I'd get excruciatingly bored of a lot of things if I was still living my childfree life in another 20 years.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    I don't know how anyone copes with having two in a short period of time, I really admire anyone who does that without losing all their marbles..

    well I DID lose my marbles lol. me and my partner ended up splitting up for a short while and i had to go on antipsychotics, but its all good and im off them now, but tbh, ive never really been the same since.
    There are pros and cons of course. My two youngest are sooooo close, theyre like twins and love each other to bits, but its been a really hard slog. I am starting to see the benefits now theyre nearly 3 and nearly 4, but an unplanned/unwanted Pregnancy when youre already looking after a baby is really tough, and that first year - well i wouldnt wish it on anyone. My first child had a lot of behavioural problems because hes ASD, but i didnt know it at the time, just thought i was a really shit parent, but even that wasnt as hard as having two close together, because at least when he was being awful, i only had to concentrate on him.

    I actually think people have a really romantic view of having a little baby, a little child, when actually articals like the one above are quite refreshing and make me laugh, because of course there are wonderful aspects to having children and im so happy that ALL of them are in the world, but really its fucking relentless to be a stay at home parent of several, and i often wonder if im really cut out for it.

    I think id be a great grandparent. All the love and all the good bits, but you get to give them back!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    and then i see my 18 year old nephew basically reject his parents and family and act like a complete twat most of the time and think ooooh this is what ive got to look forward to
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Id probably enjoy it more if i worked too, but with 3 kids, i couldnt afford to work
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    and then i see my 18 year old nephew basically reject his parents and family and act like a complete twat most of the time and think ooooh this is what ive got to look forward to

    We're not all that bad, honest!
    Or maybe just dont have 2 within 11months of each other.

    A relative of mine has quads. They're little terrors when together, apparently.
    but really its fucking relentless to be a stay at home parent of several, and i often wonder if im really cut out for it.

    A friend said this. She said that she gets bored mentally - her children are 5, 4, 2 and 1 and that she just wants to have a meaningful conversation with someone.
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