Should I Tell Her?

Former Member · February 2011

I'm seeing a CAMHS counsoler/I'm on the waiting list for CBT for anxiety and panic disorder/self-harm.

I'm told to be honest with her - and I try to be. I've told her everything regarding my anxiety/panic disorder.

But, I haven't told her about an incident in which I almost pushed my friend under a bus - how I'd been standing there, and a horrid voice had told me to do it and my hands moved before I could stop them. The bus was going to fast, and fortunately, I didn't even reach her. Or about how there are times when I'll be standing near a knife, and the same horrid voice will enter my mind, telling me to stab myself/others, and I'll feel almost forced to pick it up and do as such, etc. That, and how, at times, I'll feel extremely happy, and will feel filled with energy, so much so it feels like I'm going to burst, so I have to run around/laugh/etc, as much as I can to exert it, and I won't be able to sit still, but I'm never all together when I'm like this.

I haven't told the counselor because my mother told me that the happiness was something only medication would solve, and if I told them about the other incidents they'd put me in a hospital. I'm completely against medication - I've seen my aunt on it, she's like a zombie, not in control, same with the hospital.

I'm scared that another incident like the bus one will repeat itself, only this time I'll end up hurting someone/myself, or I'll do something idiotic while I'm in one of my happy modes, but I don't want to be put on medication, or go to a hospital. But I don't know if it's going to get better on it's own, as I don't even know what it is.

I'm confused - I don't know what's happening. Should I tell the counselor?

Former Member · February 2011

You need to be honest, she cannot help if you hide anything

Former Member · February 2011

MoK wrote: »

You need to be honest, she cannot help if you hide anything

If you think it might be too hard, you can either give her a letter to read in the session or (if you find it really difficult like I do) put it in the post.

You'll still have to talk about it but the disclosure is the hardest part. You've written it once to us so maybe you'll be able to write it again.

Good luck.

Former Member · February 2011

hi tell tell tell ive been in a cbt group 4 a eating disorder and didnt tell everything i got a lot out of it but could of got more if id of told every thing. i so regret not being totally honest

Former Member · February 2011

I think you do need to tell them everything, even something as difficult and as painful as that. As you say, you'd hate to hurt yourself or someone else, and if you don't seek the appropriate treatment that is far more likely.

It isn't automatic that you'd be locked away in a mental hospital, if the condition can be managed in the community it will be managed in the community.

Former Member · February 2011

Counseling doesn't work if you aren't honest. You need to be completely honest with your counselor if you want to get better.

Regarding medication - no one can MAKE you take a medication. Even if she recommends it, you can tell her that you are not comfortable with pills and you would like to find another way to deal with it. At the same time, it would probably be a good idea to discuss medications with her if she brings it up, just in case. There's nothing to be lost by discussing your options, and maybe she'll tell you about a particularly low dose medication or something - you never know. Either way, she's trained to find ways to help you deal with these problems, so you should utilize her. Maybe she can help you discover healthy ways to deal with your extra energy and impulsiveness.

Former Member · February 2011

They can make you take medication if you're sectioned. If you're experiencing hallucinations that make you want to stab people then medication probably will form part of the community treatment programme, but that isn't really a bad thing. It's better to take the meds then end up pushing someone in front of a bus, because if that happens it's going to be a lot harder for you to manage your own treatment. If you do something really bad whilst experiencing hallucinations you're probably going to end up in a secure hospital, which can be very very difficult to get back out of.

Even though you might not like the method, I'm sure that you'd rather have an outcome where you manage your treatment rather than someone else manages it. And if you're experiencing hallucinations to that extent that may well be the choice that you are facing.

It's better to face up to things now before things get worse. Good luck.

Should I Tell Her?

Comments